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Clips from 2 Broke Girls - And the Sax Problem (S05E05)

"and I was at a Rolling Stones concert last night."
2 Broke Girls
"I have a feeling this dessert is gonna be extra-sweet."
2 Broke Girls
"I know I said I was cool with waiting,"
2 Broke Girls
"but I wasn't cool with it!"
2 Broke Girls
"Yep. She messed up. This isn't yours."
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"Um... again. I'm cool with waiting."
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"Earl better not be dead, or I'll kill him."
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"You called 911?"
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"Wait a minute... where's Earl?"
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"if he's not down there looking up at my boobs."
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"He's late."
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"See? That's the kind of sympathy I was looking for"
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"from you and Janine."
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"Oh, yeah... I'm getting ready to shoot up."
2 Broke Girls
"Okay, Han."
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"He told me they're holding an anniversary show"
2 Broke Girls
"and The Early Birds are invited to perform"
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"Ruby hates Earl."
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"Mm-hmm. We were hot."
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"No, it was a-more I fooled around with her sister."
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"but you wouldn't lend me 25¢ for a latte yesterday?"
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"I appreciate your enthusiasm, but of all of us here,"
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"Not on my watch."
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"and talk some sense into Ruby,"
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"you do think we're gonna get out of here one day."
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"Oh, for sure!"
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"but it's still morning."
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"Sir, we're here to see Ruby."
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"and his name is Steven Tyler."
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"Well... if it isn't"
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"when he wrote "Pretty Woman for me."
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"We're friends of Earl."
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"He's more like a father-figure to her."
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"More like a great-grandfather figure!"
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"A jazzy beat, of course."
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"And what the hell is a jazzy beat?"
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"Both: Hold my hoops!"
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"in a dead-end job as a cashier in a diner."
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"All right, he can come."
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"That man only has two settings..."
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"We got a real "whose hoops" over here."
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"How can you not own a saxophone?"
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"That's like me not owning muh jugs."
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"and I was buying a lotta cocaine."
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"But thanks, girls. It would have been really nice."
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"Obviously, we have to get Earl a saxophone"
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"We can't afford a musical instrument."
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"Trust me, if there's anything I know how to find,"
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"So, Earl, you're back in your old stomping grounds."
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"There's my girl!"
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"Whenever I think of Ella, I just want to"
2 Broke Girls
"♪ Scooby-Doo-bop-bop, squiddly dop-dop-bah ♪"
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"I gotta admit, I'm excited to play."
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"I appreciate all the trouble, girls."
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"Ha ha ha ha ha ha."
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"Earl with a couple of 18-year-old white girls."
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"I was gonna say less on heroin."
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"'cause I thought it might tempt me."
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"- I did? - Mm-hmm."
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"Well, that was clever."
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"You know what wasn't clever?"
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"[lecherous giggle]"
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"I never played straight."
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"of a jazz club where you did heroin to find heroin."
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"You know what's not in the bathroom?"
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"Damn it! I forgot I invited people."
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"Admit it... everyone hates jazz, right?"
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"Hold my syringe while I get my credit card."
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"Who are you, my mom?"
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"to score some dope for me, but I'm gonna pass."
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"- You ready? - Yep. Ready to leave."
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"The Early Birds, featuring Earl!"
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"Earl!"
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"Oh, a-am I still here?"
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"[band begins set]"
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"or "Lady Sings the Blues"?"
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"You're already the whitest person here."
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"And-a one, and-a two, and-a three..."
2 Broke Girls
"but if you don't wanna play, we can just go."
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"[laughter]"
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"Let's fly, Birds."
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"you were gonna have to hold my hoops!"
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"♪ ♪"
2 Broke Girls
"Aw, were you holding on to hope?"
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"Caroline, you're not really gonna sing the blues."
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"So everybody listen up. Not you, sir."
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"♪ Them's that got shall have ♪"
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"Mm-hmm!"
2 Broke Girls
"♪ And it still is news ♪"
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"♪♪♪"
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"♪♪ ♪ ♪"
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"[cash register bell dings] ."
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"Where they gonna honeymoon... a Porta-Potty?"
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"That's the saddest thing I ever seen,"
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"The guy wants me to put this ring her pie."
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"If you like it, then you gotta put a ring in it."
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"Well, this is a first."
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"A guy left me a half a tuna sandwich as a tip."
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"Which is still more than Europeans leave."
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"There's a proposal at table 40,"
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"and you have to do it."
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"I already delivered a baby in here today."
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"Well, they've obviously been dating a while,"
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"She still believes in all that love crap."
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"It's an engagement ring!"
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"He hid it in the pie!"
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"Yes! Yes, I'll marry you."
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"And for you two, pie on the house,"
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"and I'm guessing a very tense cab ride home."
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"♪ ♪"
2 Broke Girls
"Where's Earl? He isn't here yet,"
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"and I'm worried."
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"Wait... it's not a black holiday, is it?"
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"We smoke a joint and then we kill ourselves."
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"He's probably just late. Don't overreact."
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"That's exactly what Janine at 911 said ten minutes ago"
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"when I overreacted with her!"
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"When I came home three hours late last night,"
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"Hi, everybody!"
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"It's not as much fun walking in here"
2 Broke Girls
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