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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine - The Slump (S01E01)

"Okay, do you have a backup plan"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"in case my hypothetical person can only do"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"9,500, or 3?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"What's going on in here?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"is the best way to end the slump."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"and work it till it's done."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Okay, this is the Junior police program."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[Spy music plays on TV]"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Your mission, should you choose to accept it,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"is to get your life back on track."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[Coughs] Narc!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[Laughter] Hey, Gina."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Since I have nothing to offer, and since I'm not a cop,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I thought I'd just show up and learn."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"But let me show you what can happen"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"if you continue down this path."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"and I think it's cool to sell drugs."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"sound like he's black?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"He's not. Well, why not?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"We have a black President."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Why can't black people sell drugs?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm so confused."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Black people can sell drugs!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Black people can sell drugs!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Black people can sell drugs!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"(Terry) [Muffled grunting]"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's her birthday tomorrow."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I told my wife I'd get it done."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I had the same exact one when I was a kid!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Grandma bought it for the both of us!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- You want some help, big man? - No! I can do this."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's just driving me a little crazy."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Where do I affix the princess tower, Boyle?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Where do I affix it? - On the side of the turret..."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Not now, Boyle."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Let a brother breathe."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Let a brother breathe."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I got multiple calls that a guy in the sackett towers"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's a guaranteed arrest."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And therefore will have a ton of paperwork,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"and no evidence."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Shall have no paperwork."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Let's hit it."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I am on my way to ending the slump."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"So you haven't solved any of your old cases,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"and yet you've taken on a new one."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"this Helen Sterrino missing grandmother case first?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Or I could solve the super easy one,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I like Jake hammer better. Let's go. Ah."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[Scoffs] These kids don't wanna listen to you."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You're like... Smart and articulate."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Why am I offended by that?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"They don't identify with you"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"because you're not from the streets. I am."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I know you think you're badasses."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"But deep down, you're scared."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"How do I know?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Because I've been that same scared kid."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And if you don't get your crap together,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm gonna end up busting you and throwing you in jail."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Got it?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"♪ Throwing you in jail [Laughter]"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"♪ Got it?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"♪ Throwing you in jail"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I think they're laughing at you."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"All right, flute man, who else is in this apartment?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Where's the dealer? I live here alone"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"with my birds."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"What, you don't think I know this M.O.?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"These are mules."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"They're drug mules."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"They're bird mule drugs."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Drug bird mules."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Apartment's clear."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"The only drugs in this apartment"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"are for my heart, my liver,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Oh, bird pooped on your shoulder."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"then dripped onto your shoulder."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"No, it isn't, okay?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"That's just something people say"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"when a bird poops on you to make you feel better"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Fore, comin' in!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Oh, come on. I was at the crime scene."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Well, he says he's gotta make things right,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"so helps me track down his accomplices."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"That is so great, man."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Looks like everything's comin' up Hitchcock."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Hey, Jake. You busy?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Yes, I very clearly am busy."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"The medical examiner's office just called."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"They mishandled some evidence."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And the slump gets worse."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You're dripping on my carpet."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Oh, don't worry, sir. It's just urinal water."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Clean urinal water."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Why would I ever eat off his shirt?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"but I think I'm cursed."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Cursed, huh?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"The freakiest things have been happening to me."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And, two seconds ago..."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Hey, sarge, do we have any old t-shirts in here? I..."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Yeah, I've seen this kind of thing before."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"He thought he was cursed,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"and because cops are superstitious,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"the whole precinct thought he was cursed."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"He responded to a riot at a gym without backup,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"and got beaten up by a girls' volleyball team."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It was actually quite violent."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I don't want you out in the field again, Peralta."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm pulling you from casework."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You can digitize old files with Scully."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"No, no, no, look... I've got a plan."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Give all my open cases to Hitchcock,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"who's suddenly on a roll,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"and assign me 20 fresh ones."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Eventually, my luck will turn."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"or the squad."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Not until this blows over."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And how long will that be?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"could be a month."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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