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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine - The Slump (S01E01)

Is that you don't have passion for anything.

"Is that you don't have passion for anything."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

well, I hope to inspire you with it.

"well, I hope to inspire you with it."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

♪ No, no, no

"♪ No, no, no"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

♪ 'Cause you are beautiful

"♪ 'Cause you are beautiful"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

[Sighs] What are we thinking?

"[Sighs] What are we thinking?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Fine. Cops make $52,000 a year.

"Fine. Cops make $52,000 a year."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Why are we in the bathroom?

"Why are we in the bathroom?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I had Detective Boyle make some calls,

"I had Detective Boyle make some calls,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Definitely filing a false report

"Definitely filing a false report"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake hammer strikes again.

"Jake hammer strikes again."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Detectives.

"Detectives."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I see we got eight recruits for the Junior police program.

"I see we got eight recruits for the Junior police program."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I can give you a zero percent raise

"I can give you a zero percent raise"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

which is what I'm doing.

"which is what I'm doing."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I think you have hidden talents,

"I think you have hidden talents,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Ugh.

"Ugh."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Constantly getting Holt's approval is the worst.

"Constantly getting Holt's approval is the worst."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Ah, that was a good one.

"Ah, that was a good one."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

[Deep breath]

"[Deep breath]"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

have their ups and downs, Peralta.

"have their ups and downs, Peralta."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You said it. No takebacks.

"You said it. No takebacks."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Because his whole life is a slump?

"Because his whole life is a slump?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Because he doesn't let adversity get him down.

"Because he doesn't let adversity get him down."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

He keeps grinding.

"He keeps grinding."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

If I'd given you those new cases,

"If I'd given you those new cases,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

the second you hit a snag, you would have spiraled again.

"the second you hit a snag, you would have spiraled again."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Messing with you.

"Messing with you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh...

"Oh..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I see what's going on here.

"I see what's going on here."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Office Christmas card candidate, right here!

"Office Christmas card candidate, right here!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Me and Holt are homies!

"Me and Holt are homies!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I assembled the castle for you.

"I assembled the castle for you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

some jobs take muscles,

"some jobs take muscles,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Let me jump back on that murder with you.

"Let me jump back on that murder with you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No. I got it.

"No. I got it."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No, don't touch it! You're contagious.

"No, don't touch it! You're contagious."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Come here.

"Come here."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I got in touch with smitty.

"I got in touch with smitty."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

He says that you should rub this rabbit's foot

"He says that you should rub this rabbit's foot"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

with your left forefinger and your pinky,

"with your left forefinger and your pinky,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

like this, for good luck.

"like this, for good luck."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Okay.

"Okay."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I can feel it.

"I can feel it."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

[Whimpering]

"[Whimpering]"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You okay?

"You okay?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm a grown man

"I'm a grown man"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

with man hands and a man brain.

"with man hands and a man brain."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I should be able to put together

"I should be able to put together"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Look... this screw has three pointy sides.

"Look... this screw has three pointy sides."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

[Screw clatters on floor]

"[Screw clatters on floor]"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

What kind of castle has wheels?

"What kind of castle has wheels?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Wait a minute.

"Wait a minute."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

we don't need a clubhouse.

"we don't need a clubhouse."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

[High-pitched singsong] Clubhouse.

"[High-pitched singsong] Clubhouse."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You know what I'm thinking...

"You know what I'm thinking..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Don't let Holt see you.

"Don't let Holt see you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Come through for me, Boyle.

"Come through for me, Boyle."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Children, your problem is not that you're troubled

"Children, your problem is not that you're troubled"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

or at-risk or bad dressers.

"or at-risk or bad dressers."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Is that a trucker hat? Still?

"Is that a trucker hat? Still?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

My life turned around when I found my passion.

"My life turned around when I found my passion."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And today,

"And today,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

♪ No matter what they say

"♪ No matter what they say"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

♪ Words can't bring you down

"♪ Words can't bring you down"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yes, in the denim.

"Yes, in the denim."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You never have to stop at a red light.

"You never have to stop at a red light."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And you get to carry a gun. Who wants in?

"And you get to carry a gun. Who wants in?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

"Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yes. Oh, my God.

"Yes. Oh, my God."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You got eight kids to sign up.

"You got eight kids to sign up."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

That's what made me sign up when I was a kid.

"That's what made me sign up when I was a kid."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I thought you might ask that,

"I thought you might ask that,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

But first, I know what happened to your grandma.

"But first, I know what happened to your grandma."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

What are you talking about?

"What are you talking about?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The reason I couldn't find her

"The reason I couldn't find her"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

is because she never existed.

"is because she never existed."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and it turns out you've done this before.

"and it turns out you've done this before."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Five missing persons reports in five different states.

"Five missing persons reports in five different states."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Recognize this?

"Recognize this?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

What are you accusing us of?

"What are you accusing us of?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Now, you were wondering why we did this in the bathroom.

"Now, you were wondering why we did this in the bathroom."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It's because you're full of crap.

"It's because you're full of crap."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Thank you, sir.

"Thank you, sir."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

But, as important as your praise is to me,

"But, as important as your praise is to me,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

She's the one that got through to the kids.

"She's the one that got through to the kids."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And I only ask for one thing in repayment.

"And I only ask for one thing in repayment."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

A 600% raise. Or...

"A 600% raise. Or..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and make you my personal assistant,

"and make you my personal assistant,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

which will make you surprisingly good the job.

"which will make you surprisingly good the job."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No, I have no talents.

"No, I have no talents."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You start Monday.

"You start Monday."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Well, the curse is over. The slump is done.

"Well, the curse is over. The slump is done."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake is back.

"Jake is back."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Permission to take a selfie of the two of us, sir?

"Permission to take a selfie of the two of us, sir?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Permission denied.

"Permission denied."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Too late. [Camera snaps]

"Too late. [Camera snaps]"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So, the rabbit's foot worked, huh?

"So, the rabbit's foot worked, huh?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Ah, maybe.

"Ah, maybe."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

All I know is my mind was so numb

"All I know is my mind was so numb"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

from doing all that boring data entry

"from doing all that boring data entry"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

that my brain kind of rebooted,

"that my brain kind of rebooted,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and I had an inspiration

"and I had an inspiration"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

about one of my old cases.

"about one of my old cases."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And I now see that that was your plan all along.

"And I now see that that was your plan all along."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And that you're capable of smiling.

"And that you're capable of smiling."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

All talented detectives

"All talented detectives"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So you think I'm talented.

"So you think I'm talented."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You know why Boyle doesn't slump?

"You know why Boyle doesn't slump?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You need to stay out of your own head.

"You need to stay out of your own head."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Okay. But, sir, I don't get it.

"Okay. But, sir, I don't get it."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

If that was your plan, why bother with smitty

"If that was your plan, why bother with smitty"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and the rabbit's foot?

"and the rabbit's foot?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Well, there's a very good reason for that.

"Well, there's a very good reason for that."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Here it is.

"Here it is."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, my God.

"Oh, my God."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

What happened to all the princess flourishes?

"What happened to all the princess flourishes?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Well, they were destroyed,

"Well, they were destroyed,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

in order: Training day,

"in order: Training day,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

One cop heroically saving the day

"One cop heroically saving the day"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

while everyone else stands around and watches.

"while everyone else stands around and watches."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

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