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Clips from King of the Hill - Soldier of Misfortune (S06E06)

"Me having an accidental discharge is like you giving a sales pitch..."
King of the Hill
"I can't even.... No. God, no!"
King of the Hill
"God, yes!"
King of the Hill
"Mad Dog's even sent out invitations to his inauguration party."
King of the Hill
"Why did I pull my gun during the flower-delivery story?"
King of the Hill
"But now look at me!"
King of the Hill
"Mommy! It's burning!"
King of the Hill
"How long am I gonna have to look at Dale moping around in his underwear?"
King of the Hill
"Oh, there goes the underwear."
King of the Hill
"-It's scary. -We've gotta do something to help him."
King of the Hill
"Tell you what, man, I broke up with a chick...."
King of the Hill
"Just give.... Could give a little ol', dang ol' little puppy, man."
King of the Hill
"I have to say, I am not wowed by the puppy idea."
King of the Hill
"But here's what we do know. A gun is a penis substitute."
King of the Hill
"So Dale losing the Gun Club presidency is like Dale losing his...."
King of the Hill
"Now, how do we give Dale back his penis?"
King of the Hill
"When he completes it..."
King of the Hill
"You, too?"
King of the Hill
"[Phone ringing]"
King of the Hill
"This is Dale."
King of the Hill
"Yes, I'm calliig about your ad,"
King of the Hill
"It's a sky-blue Schwinn in 68%% mint condition."
King of the Hill
"I'm calling about your Soldier of Fortuie ad."
King of the Hill
"I'm paid up. My wife sent the check last week."
King of the Hill
"I'm tryiig to hire you, you idiot,"
King of the Hill
"Who is this?"
King of the Hill
"You don't know me. But my name is...."
King of the Hill
"Frank! It's Frank Hill! Wait, no."
King of the Hill
"-Fred. -Fred Hill."
King of the Hill
"Mr. Big."
King of the Hill
"My name is Mr. Big."
King of the Hill
"Yes, yes, yes!"
King of the Hill
"Tomorrow at 2:00 p.m., go to the bus station."
King of the Hill
"Daddy's back!"
King of the Hill
"Coconutty."
King of the Hill
"-How long we been on stakeout? -Three minutes."
King of the Hill
"And I'm horny."
King of the Hill
"[Phone ringing]"
King of the Hill
"-Go. -This is Mr. Big, I tell you what."
King of the Hill
"[Whispering] Tell him to get a Twix bar from the vending machine."
King of the Hill
"Take the briefcase to the skating rink..."
King of the Hill
"Twix!"
King of the Hill
"What the hell are you doing?"
King of the Hill
"Give it."
King of the Hill
"Pocket sand!"
King of the Hill
"The falcon has the egg."
King of the Hill
"There's been a change in plans."
King of the Hill
"Your new mission is to take the briefcase to the lost and found at the bus station."
King of the Hill
"What exactly am I carrying in this case?"
King of the Hill
"-Where are the drugs? -What drugs?"
King of the Hill
"The drugs that the drug lord will search for in each and every one of my cavities..."
King of the Hill
"It's bad for business!"
King of the Hill
"And this time I'm not just saying that to get attention!"
King of the Hill
"Fourteen years I've been running that ad."
King of the Hill
"I'm being set up."
King of the Hill
"But who would stand to gain from killing me? No one!"
King of the Hill
"Wait. Mad Dog."
King of the Hill
"Mr. Big is Mad Dog!"
King of the Hill
"Mr. Big is..."
King of the Hill
"Oh, God, I'm a dead man."
King of the Hill
"So get out of here."
King of the Hill
"Bill, you can stay or go, doesn't matter."
King of the Hill
"I'm gonna kill Mr. Big before he kills us!"
King of the Hill
"Mr. Big's gonna kill us!"
King of the Hill
"Quick, Nancy! Plan 51 Tango!"
King of the Hill
"Fifty-one Tango!"
King of the Hill
"So either Dale's not here yet or he's dead."
King of the Hill
"The invitation says we're supposed to bring chips and dip."
King of the Hill
"We ain't got no chips and dip!"
King of the Hill
"Trespassers. If I shoot them, I'm going back to jail."
King of the Hill
"But I can't not shoot them."
King of the Hill
"Dang, man. You can talk about a...."
King of the Hill
"-Bill, watch out! -What?"
King of the Hill
"I'm too fat! I'm too fat!"
King of the Hill
"Hang on, fellas. Help is on the way!"
King of the Hill
"I'm okay. This skeleton broke my fall."
King of the Hill
"I had to cut my hair to make a moustache for my dad."
King of the Hill
"-ln my dad's truck? -Your dad gave it to me."
King of the Hill
"but here it is. He's having a midlife crisis."
King of the Hill
"He'll probably leave your mother, and it's partially your fault."
King of the Hill
"Now, be good boys and go get my flip-flops. They're under the couch."
King of the Hill
"Oh, and bring the couch."
King of the Hill
"See that nasty stain on the carpet?"
King of the Hill
"Well, you better start talking, or you're gonna end up..."
King of the Hill
"just like the guy who spilled that red wine."
King of the Hill
"Hey, man, what are you talking about? I don't know a dang ol' thing, man."
King of the Hill
"Jim! Go get your jumper cables."
King of the Hill
"There wasn't anything on the invitation about taking hostages."
King of the Hill
"Fifteen minutes ago we were talking about microwaving a pizza!"
King of the Hill
"What's that?"
King of the Hill
"You know, we were gonna go have dinner, rent a movie..."
King of the Hill
"you know, make a movie, too, man."
King of the Hill
"Mad Dog is holdiig us prisoier at his house,"
King of the Hill
"Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, Hank!"
King of the Hill
"Is that my dad?"
King of the Hill
"If he's not gonna make it home for dinner..."
King of the Hill
"Bobby, you'll be having your dad's pork chop every night for the rest of your life."
King of the Hill
"Wait. That's the saddest thing I've ever heard."
King of the Hill
"You hear that, Hank?"
King of the Hill
"Bobby's not having your pork chop, damn it!"
King of the Hill
"Oh, my God! What the hell are you doing?"
King of the Hill
"Give me that!"
King of the Hill
"-Get down! -No!"
King of the Hill
"-Dale, did you call the cops? -Cops? Relax, Hank."
King of the Hill
"You're with a professional soldier of fortune."
King of the Hill
"The only soldier here is Bill, and he cuts hair."
King of the Hill
"I'm so scared."
King of the Hill
"written by bigger liars than you."
King of the Hill
"First grade?"
King of the Hill
"No, it was more like a phony errand. And you couldn't even get that right."
King of the Hill
"Now, which one of you fellows has always been afraid of drowning?"
King of the Hill
"My friends were just asking about my work for the ClA."
King of the Hill
"Knock it off, Dale."
King of the Hill
"What? Copy that."
King of the Hill
"What are you doing? Who are you talking to?"
King of the Hill
"He's talking to me. Yeah. Copy that."
King of the Hill
"You know, you'd be amazed how a few flowers..."
King of the Hill
"Oh, my God! Dale's flower-delivery-man routine?"
King of the Hill
"It's the ClA!"
King of the Hill
"Jim, go in the kitchen and get my box of grenades."
King of the Hill
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