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Clips from King of the Hill - Soldier of Misfortune (S06E06)

"Guess who's running for an unprecedented fourth term..."
King of the Hill
"as president of the Arlen Gun Club?"
King of the Hill
"I'll give you a hint. He made love to my wife last night."
King of the Hill
"Dang it, Dale. I didn't let Bill put a personal ad up there..."
King of the Hill
"Macaroon?"
King of the Hill
"Dale, every year I vote for you..."
King of the Hill
"just to get my hands on one of your fine macaroons."
King of the Hill
"That's a good one."
King of the Hill
"Mad Dog, cookie?"
King of the Hill
"While you were safely tucked away in prison..."
King of the Hill
"Paid ad don't mean nothing."
King of the Hill
"Crap."
King of the Hill
"Tell him about the time you assassinated that Central American dictator."
King of the Hill
"-Yeah! -Again? Gladly."
King of the Hill
"The generalissimo was guarded better than a Mafia don's virgin daughter."
King of the Hill
"That's a good one."
King of the Hill
"Or was there a Central American dictator hiding in the cash register?"
King of the Hill
"-Sure. -Read my mind."
King of the Hill
"-I'm a laughingstock! -Dale, calm down."
King of the Hill
"someone's toe, and this'll all be forgotten."
King of the Hill
"Oh, God! If that happened, I'd kiss his bloody nub."
King of the Hill
"Fresh batch of macaroons, Jim?"
King of the Hill
"Whoa! Don't shoot!"
King of the Hill
"I'll just put the cookies over on the...."
King of the Hill
"and he's already got the Black vote. Earl."
King of the Hill
"for a grill and not even mentioning the convenient warming plate."
King of the Hill
"Because it makes it more exciting!"
King of the Hill
"I can honestly say this is the first time I've ever seen anyone as depressed as I am."
King of the Hill
"That's a great idea! We'll give Dale a dog."
King of the Hill
"-Penis? -Exactly!"
King of the Hill
"and send him on a mission even a moron could do."
King of the Hill
"he will happily be back in his pathetic little bubble of self-delusion!"
King of the Hill
"Are you available for a top-secret mission tomorrow?"
King of the Hill
"Let me check my appointment book."
King of the Hill
"Kidnap, kidnap, coup. Sure, I can squeeze you in."
King of the Hill
"-I'm starving. -We'll get a snack after."
King of the Hill
"[Shushing]"
King of the Hill
"Briefcase!"
King of the Hill
"[Phone ringing]"
King of the Hill
"Oh, and this is Dale, from the ad."
King of the Hill
"I don't recall a change in plans being in the original plan."
King of the Hill
"Well, if you want a mule, go to the pet store, Big!"
King of the Hill
"Mercenary."
King of the Hill
"Daddy?"
King of the Hill
"There's no drugs! Oh, my God, I've been set up!"
King of the Hill
"I can't die on my first mission!"
King of the Hill
"Thank God, Hank! Someone's trying to kill me!"
King of the Hill
"Not one call! Then suddenly, one call."
King of the Hill
"But who hates me? No one!"
King of the Hill
"Wait. Mad Dog."
King of the Hill
"If you guys are seen with me, Mr. Big will kill you, too!"
King of the Hill
"What are you talking about, sug'?"
King of the Hill
"In the event of a hostile takeover of the Gun Club..."
King of the Hill
"Why do we even have the drills if you aren't gonna pay attention?"
King of the Hill
"Well, I don't hear any girlish screams."
King of the Hill
"We're going on a trip."
King of the Hill
"He's buying a convertible. I wasn't supposed to say anything..."
King of the Hill
"Now, how's he planning on doing it?"
King of the Hill
"Playing dumb, huh?"
King of the Hill
"Oh, good. Now I get to torture you."
King of the Hill
"[Cell phone beeping]"
King of the Hill
"Man, that dang ol' cell phone. I could be talking to Shavonne, man."
King of the Hill
"Maybe I can hit the redial button with my nose and call for help."
King of the Hill
"-It's our only hope. -Go for it!"
King of the Hill
"[Phone ringing]"
King of the Hill
"Joseph, forget the flip-flops! Just get the couch!"
King of the Hill
"ask him if I can have his pork chop."
King of the Hill
"Retraction."
King of the Hill
"Bobby, you will not be having your dad's pork chop tonight or any other night."
King of the Hill
"Nothing. I swear. I was just calling for help!"
King of the Hill
"You are not a soldier of fortune! You're not a soldier of anything!"
King of the Hill
"You're nothing but a bunch of stories you read in a magazine..."
King of the Hill
"-No, you're not. -I am Mr. Big."
King of the Hill
"It happened when you shot that stupid cash register."
King of the Hill
"Mad Dog, you'll want to hear this."
King of the Hill
"There's no way they'd let one of their contract killers die in a situation like this."
King of the Hill
"Okay, Dale. Talk to you later."
King of the Hill
"could really brighten up this room."
King of the Hill
"[Alarm sounding]"
King of the Hill
"Well, you can put those flowers on your graves."
King of the Hill
"Oh, man! By the size of those bouquets, they're packing some serious heat."
King of the Hill
"who's currently running on the ""Save your sorry asses"" platform..."
King of the Hill
"-say aye. -Aye!"
King of the Hill
"How embarrassing. I seem to have forgotten all my money."
King of the Hill
"I knew he was a company man. He's flashing his ClA badge."
King of the Hill
"But that guy's my best friend, and he'll cover me."
King of the Hill
"Well, I haven't. But then again, I'm not a professional mercenary."
King of the Hill
"Wait a minute. Did we untie Bill?"
King of the Hill
"So I pretended..."
King of the Hill
"to accideitally discharge my weapoi iito the cash register,"
King of the Hill
"HANK: Mr, Big is pleased,"
King of the Hill
"When can I try her out, Hank?"
King of the Hill
"It's a leaf blower, Bill, not a jetpack."
King of the Hill
"and I sure as hell won't let that up."
King of the Hill
"[l Fought The Law by Bobby Fuller Four playing]"
King of the Hill
"I've got entrance-wound size and exit-wound size."
King of the Hill
"Well, in that case, Jim, take two and vote twice."
King of the Hill
"Hats off, boys. It's the First Lady."
King of the Hill
"If you're not going to respect the man, Mad Dog, at least respect the office."
King of the Hill
"Gribble, I wouldn't vote for a clown like you if I had a gun to my head."
King of the Hill
"See?"
King of the Hill
"Hey! Watch your mouth, Mad Dog!"
King of the Hill
"Or don't you get Soldier of Fortuie in the hole?"
King of the Hill
"We needed the element of surprise..."
King of the Hill
"so me and my team showed up disguised as flower-delivery men."
King of the Hill
"he's pushing up daisies!"
King of the Hill
"Well, I'll be danged! An accidental discharge."
King of the Hill
"That's one for the safety video."
King of the Hill
"Come on, guys! Lighten up."
King of the Hill
"-Anyone want a beer? -Yeah."
King of the Hill
"[Singing] Dale had ai accideital discharge"
King of the Hill
"Stop laughing at me!"
King of the Hill
"Good one, Jim. Very topical."
King of the Hill
"You're going down, Gribble."
King of the Hill
"[All laughing]"
King of the Hill
"Mad Dog's challenging me for president..."
King of the Hill
"Earl."
King of the Hill
"So things are gonna be a little tense with Earl."
King of the Hill
"You're still gonna win the election."
King of the Hill
"You don't understand."
King of the Hill
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