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Clips from The Detour - The Drop (S01E01)

"And your wife was taking your two kids, Jared and Delilah..."
The Detour
"The boy's name is actually Jareb with a "B.""
The Detour
"And they were on their way home to Syracuse..."
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"Sharon, please. They have a strong relationship."
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"She's not even his wife. They're not married."
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"That's because she's actually married to some guy named Carlos."
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"- Tell me about this guy. - What about Orlando?"
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"Why didn't your sister-in-law meet you in Fort Lauderdale?"
The Detour
"How'd that happen?"
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"How does that have any bearing on this story?"
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"This is my investigation!"
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"- Was it drugs? - Oh."
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"How am I gonna get this to Florida?"
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"We're here on official P.F.R. business!"
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"That's, like, two levels above FBI."
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"Shit!"
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"I know y'all in there!"
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"Don't pretend like you're not home now!"
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"Oh, shit!"
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"What the hell?"
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"What kind of car would you like?"
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"We always get four seats 'cause of dad."
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"I swear, you get dumber by the second."
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""Y"..."
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""K"..."
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"We're not getting divorced."
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"Chazz's parents try to outdo each other at Christmas."
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"And double chances at catching Santa"
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"and stealing his pot of gold."
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"Is there a "Q" in Syracuse?"
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"where it's Christmas 364 days a year!"
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"- Bah humbug. - Just get here!"
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"Looks like we found ourselves a scrooge, folks."
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"Scrooge! Thank you. Thank you."
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"Yes. Yes, I-I'm glad my misery makes you happy."
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"- Muslims? - Uh-huh."
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"- Taoists? - Uh-huh."
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"- Hindus? - Uh-huh."
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"- Ashantis? - Uh-huh."
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"- Jehovah's? - Uh-huh."
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"- Okay. Where's the bar? - The bar?"
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"Sad dad coming through!"
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"- Hope you find some spirit! - Clever."
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"- Come this way, guys. - God."
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"Yeah. Whatever that snow is made of is burning my skin."
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"But it wouldn't be Christmas without it though, pal."
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"Uh, whatcha drinkin'?"
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"Sounds like somebody's trying to forget his troubles."
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"So... hooray!"
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"What the hell is that?"
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"It's a fake sad bar, not a real sad bar."
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"Hey, the kids and I are coming home early,"
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"- would you? - I'm not at your house."
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"I'm on the road with my new family."
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"Our car broke down."
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"Caleb says Nate preyed upon my generous nature to..."
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"Oh, Jesus. Did you join a cult?"
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"Okay, I need you to be normal right now."
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"What?"
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"Now government goons with guns"
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"But it's okay."
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"Vanessa, are you gonna kill yourself?"
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"Salvation, Florida. It's really close to Orlando."
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"Oh. Oh, yeah. Okay."
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"Nope, not you."
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"All right, kids... You know what?"
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"We're gonna go save your idiot dad."
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"- Flo Rida? - No, Florida."
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""F"..."I"..."
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"- "Os"... - Nope."
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"- "Ur"... - No, no "U.""
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"Jesus Christ. How many presents does one kid need?"
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"We can't afford it!"
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"And then you go give money to that filthy bum!"
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"It was the salvation army."
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"So a bum with a band uniform."
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"Hey, Nate? I love you."
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"And you can't buy mine, either!"
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"Yeah, 'cause you're not gonna see it again until march!"
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"Get out!"
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"Take your ugly face and never come back!"
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"You know, I like to think that things have a way"
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"of working themselves out on Christmas..."
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"I swear to god..."
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"Scrooge! Oh. Thank you! Thank you!"
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"Thank you! Thank you!"
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"Scrooge is mad!"
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"Oh, wow. Your dad must love this place."
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"All right, Delilah, keep an eye out"
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"- Just let me know, all right? - Gotcha."
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"- All right. Great. - What's my job?"
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"Uh, you..."
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"Go get a pretzel and sit on that bench right there."
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"I'm gonna find your father."
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"I won't let you down!"
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"My job's way better than yours."
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"Okay, but let me ask you this."
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"Mm-hmm?"
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"What would it be?"
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"Babe! What are you doing here? How did you find me?"
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"No, it's just, it's really expensive..."
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"Oh, my god. Oh."
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"- I hated the way that felt. - Please, never again."
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"- No, never. Mmm. - Okay? Mmm."
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"Just... it's not..."
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"All right, I need you to tell me everything."
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"- I will, baby. Open book. - Okay. Okay. Right now, though."
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"- I got... - You got fired. Yeah, I know. I know."
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"What?"
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"W... anyway, Vanessa says you're in danger. What is that?"
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"- Oh, shit show. No. No. - No?"
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"- I took something from work. - Oh? What'd you take?"
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"- I can't tell you. - Mm, what?"
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"- Yet. Yet. I can't tell you yet. - Why?"
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"No, no."
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"But it's a highly protected industry secret."
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"I give birth to your twins, and I-I put up with your mother"
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"for a competing biotech pharmaceutical company"
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"- or whatever it is you work for. - It's just biotech..."
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"Why did I even come back?"
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