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Clips from The Mindy Project - Two to One (S01E01)

"I should go back to work."
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"Guys, you haven't agreed on anything since, um..."
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"Okay."
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"You want rocks?"
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"But what if there's complications?"
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"If you're middle-aged..."
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"But they're good doctors."
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"They're gonna drop you curbside at Columbia Presbyterian"
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"on their way to coachella."
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"We have never been"
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"Tell me this, Deslauriers."
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"Yes, we explain up front to all of our patients..."
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"[Whispering] We have to say "clients.""
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"To our clients."
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"That's what I thought."
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"And in a month or so,"
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"Okay. Great job."
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"And if you steal another patient,"
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"Remember..."
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"This is like bringing recipes to a restaurant and saying,"
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"I'm just really nervous."
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"Yeah, of course you're nervous. You're pregnant, all right?"
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"There is a creature inside of you moving around,"
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"If I was you, I'd be freaking out."
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"I'm sorry... I just had to mess with you,"
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"'cause you looked kind of scared."
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"Okay. Okay."
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"Water."
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"What happened to you? You look terrible."
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"I'm sorry, Danny,"
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"that I don't look like a runway model this morning."
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"I have been very busy delivering babies"
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"to put food on our plates."
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"I'm sorry... Water on our plates."
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"I might be, all right? Luckily,"
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"dreadlocks are super cool, and I can pull them off."
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"Thank you. Who is this guy?"
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"the practice goes out of business,"
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"you three are personally liable for the expense."
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"Wait. So, if the practice goes under,"
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"of Dr. Shulman's patients."
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"Oh, my God. What?"
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"Yeah, I just saw Mrs. DeWitt going up to the fifth floor."
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"That's the holistic birthing center upstairs. Midwives."
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"I mean, it's one thing to lose our patients"
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"It makes me sick."
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"Shauna, here's what I want you to do."
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"tell 'em we'll give 'em 20% off their copay"
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"on their next visit."
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"Danny, we're not selling mufflers."
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"I like Danny's discount idea."
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"What... how could you like that idea?"
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"It's a terrible idea."
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"Plus, it was his idea to me as the face of those taxi cab ads."
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"What taxi cab ads?"
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"I'm sorry... we do taxi cab ads now? Yeah."
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"I mean, that's leadership, isn't it?"
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"It's making swift decisions with handsome faces."
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"Guys, I am also a leader here."
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"Do you remember that time when that really annoying"
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"steel-drum guy was in front of our building? Mm-hmm."
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"and I said, "look, man, here, take $20.""
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"Go bother some other neighborhood, okay?""
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"He came back after two hours, but still... Okay, look..."
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"Guys... Danny, I..."
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"Hi."
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"I'm Diana, the administrative assistant"
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"[Laughs] Okay."
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"I've made repeated calls and inquiries"
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"We'll get to it when we get to it."
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"If you want those files, you're gonna have to pry them"
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"Seriously, though..."
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"[Scoffs]"
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"Hey, guys, I am not going to take my day off tomorrow."
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"I feel guilty... there's too much to do around here."
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"Aren't you supposed to have best friend day?"
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"The last time I talked to you about it,"
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"I love best friend day. I think you should go do it."
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"Why are you moving all this medical junk in here?"
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"Turning Shulman's office into storage."
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"We voted. It's storage."
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"I wasn't part of anyote."
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"Guys, this is important to me."
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"And it's already getting a lot of buzz in the media."
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"It is?"
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"Yeah. I ran into Kelly Ripa at Sephora,"
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"and I told her about it, and she said, "good for you!""
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"I think it's a good idea for you to take the day off tomorrow,"
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"and we'll be fine without you."
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"You know, too many cooks... You get it."
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"Yeah. Just too many cooks."
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"It's..."
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"So you don't need me here at all?"
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"Okay, sure."
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"because there's absolutely no reason for me to stay."
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"Et tu, Morgan?"
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"No, that's the only one, I think."
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"Have fun."
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"Mm."
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"Why don't we close your eyes, take a deep breath?"
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"That's better."
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"It took billions of years of evolution"
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"to perfect the human neck."
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"Chairs have only been around for a mere eye-blink"
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"Oh, no."
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"and this is the first time we've met, right?"
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"[Sighs]"
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"This is my brother, business partner, best friend,"
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"Hi. Hi."
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"What kind of plant you got there, buddy? Checking."
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"That's hilarious."
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"I think you two should leave."
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"(Danny) They're not doctors, they're midwives."
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"I'd prefer if you call me Dr. Castellano."
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"I've always found "doctor" to be such a formality."
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"You know what? You're right. It is distancing."
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"It's the distance between actual doctors like me"
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"and quacks like you and your brother."
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"Isn't that right, Dr. Reed?"
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"Dr. Reed?"
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