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Clips from The Mindy Project - Two to One (S01E01)

"He left."
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"I think he was embarrassed about being a drug dealer."
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"Not this again. They're prescriptions."
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"And prescriptions are little pieces of paper"
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"that one trades in for narcotics,"
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"Hey, pal, I went to Columbia medical school."
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"I got into Columbia. Didn't go."
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"Did you know that midwifery predates obstetrics"
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"So I ask you this, Danny... Confucius, the Buddha,"
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"Should've been. Mm."
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"No, no, no."
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"Mrs. DeSouza, could we have but five minutes of your time?"
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"With all due respect,"
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"you have no idea how stupid that sounds."
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"Whoa! Oh, all right."
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"We don't even know what's in these vaccines."
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"Excuse me? Whoa, Danny."
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"Uh, okay. Uh, he didn't mean that."
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"You're not stupid, obviously. You're brilliant."
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"I'm not calling you stupid. I'm calling..."
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"Denying your baby Western medicine..."
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"That's not much better."
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"If I may."
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"Maybe you recognize me from our taxi cab ads..."
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"I didn't see your ad."
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"Didn't? I looked pretty good. Never mind."
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"The point is we both know you're not going anywhere, all right?"
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"So why don't we pop you in those stirrups"
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"and take a damn good peek."
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"That came out wrong. Oh, my..."
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"What if I told you it was 20% off?"
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"♪ we need to play, need to play, need to play ♪"
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"This is the guy I'm dating. Isn't he such a babe?"
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"Alex, that's weird. Wait a minute."
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"Yeah, of course. What is wrong with you?"
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"What do you mean, what is wrong with me?"
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"It's the perfect crime, you know?"
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"I get a picture of him napping."
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"Turn the phone off!"
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"Mm-hmm. Oh, no, I'm sorry, ma'am."
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"Uh, I'm sorry. That's actually mine."
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"It was on the table."
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"It probably just fell out of my basket."
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"Whatever."
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"Are you kidding me?"
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"Hey, lady!"
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"You raiding basket?"
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"Excuse me?"
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"before I take it from you myself."
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"Don't piss these two off."
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"[Scoffs]"
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"Hmm."
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"You are so awesome!"
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"Not anymore."
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"Hmm. It is best friend day."
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"We got to come up with a plan for dealing with these guys."
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"letting you make all the decisions"
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"The practice is screwed, Danny, okay?"
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"No other practice will take me on."
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"Men are too threatened by my good looks,"
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"and women find me a constant erotic distraction."
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"And what about going to England? Forget about that."
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"I'm too tan. They'll be merciless."
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"Just calm down."
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"Dr. Castellano, your 3:00 canceled."
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"She's transferring to downtown women's holistic birth center."
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"So it begins."
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"Dr. Reed, is the practice gonna be all right?"
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"Okay, it's gonna be great. It's gonna be fine, Betsy."
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"Wow."
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"You're supposed to be the calm, cool,"
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"collected British guy, right?"
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"That's actually bull."
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"like screaming girls the entire war."
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"Okay."
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"Oh, my God. Hello?"
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"Dr. Lahiri, the Deslaurier brothers"
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"Just let Dr. Reed and Dr. Castellano take care of it."
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"They kicked me out of work, remember?"
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"They said they didn't need me."
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"Lauren Ordenstein just called to have her files sent up there."
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"(Mindy) What?"
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"My patient is switching to the midwives?"
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"Oh, hell, no."
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"Don't. What?"
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"Okay, some weird half-doctors are trying to patient-Jack me."
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"What? One of your patients?"
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"Yeah, yeah. Um..."
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"No, it's best friend day, you guys."
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"But you're a partner there, Mindy."
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"Other doctors will think you're a wuss. Right?"
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"Mm-hmm, you really should. Mm-hmm."
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"Okay, guys, I'm so sorry. I've had such a fun day."
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"Okay, please don't judge my bra."
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"(Alex) I'll try not to."
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"Okay, all right. I'm done."
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"Okay, good. Okay, good."
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"I love you, guys! Love you, love you, love you."
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"(Danny) Why did Mrs. Baker cancel?"
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"Dr. Lahiri!"
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"Okay. What are you doing here?"
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"I am doing what you could not do."
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"Mindy, where are you going?"
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"Not the hornet's nest that's on the roof"
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"that we saw that time... I meant the midwives."
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"Guys? Danny!"
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"Guy... Come on."
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"[Dramatic music]"
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"Debbie, Emily, Lauren... So many familiar faces."
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"[Gong ringing loudly] Midwives! Midwives!"
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"God! Midwives!"
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"Easy, there."
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"That gong was a gift from me to myself"
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"Hey, I have a question for you."
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"Who the hell do you think you are?"
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"but my name is Brendan Deslaurier."
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"It's nice to meet y... I don't think so, pal."
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"I'm not gonna fall for that smooth, calm,"
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"namaste B.S. That everyone else seems to fall for,"
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"Let's say I have a heart attack."
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