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Clips from Kevin Can Wait - Kevin vs. The Dutch Elm (S01E01)

"Morning."
Kevin Can Wait
"Hey. You're up early."
Kevin Can Wait
"No, I'm giving out flu vaccines at school,"
Kevin Can Wait
"Every time he sees a needle, he freaks out and faints."
Kevin Can Wait
"You're gonna shoot him with a blow dart"
Kevin Can Wait
"I'm gonna stick him with this little sucker"
Kevin Can Wait
"Like an animal."
Kevin Can Wait
"Ooh!"
Kevin Can Wait
"Gonna be so easy, 'cause he's so sleepy."
Kevin Can Wait
"I'm sorry!"
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh!"
Kevin Can Wait
"♪ I am not your ordinary guy ♪"
Kevin Can Wait
"his grandmother sends this icebox cake from Italy."
Kevin Can Wait
"It is life-changing."
Kevin Can Wait
"- I got it. I got it. I got it. - You know?"
Kevin Can Wait
"I tell all the guys "Hey, show up at 1:00,""
Kevin Can Wait
"because I know they're gonna show up early"
Kevin Can Wait
"Okay. Well. That is very thought out."
Kevin Can Wait
"It is fifth. Sixth? Fifth."
Kevin Can Wait
"What?! Oh, no. Don't even start."
Kevin Can Wait
"You put it up in the wrong spot..."
Kevin Can Wait
"I will move it, but I can't do it tomorrow."
Kevin Can Wait
"- with our calendars... - No! No, no, no!"
Kevin Can Wait
"It hurts."
Kevin Can Wait
"Y-You know what it is? I-I'm very garlicky."
Kevin Can Wait
"Today?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Our pool?"
Kevin Can Wait
"I barely slept last night."
Kevin Can Wait
"Exactly. Quality drops, get out the game, Nana."
Kevin Can Wait
"I need all you guys to help me move my pool tomorrow."
Kevin Can Wait
"Are you... Are you out of your mind?"
Kevin Can Wait
"I-I got to move it."
Kevin Can Wait
"The neighbor's got a dead tree."
Kevin Can Wait
"It's hanging over, it's blocking the sun."
Kevin Can Wait
"It's a whole thing, believe me."
Kevin Can Wait
"and don't even get me started on the... on the filter."
Kevin Can Wait
"Well, hold on for a second."
Kevin Can Wait
"So why don't you just get rid of it?"
Kevin Can Wait
"No. We tell Mott "You move your fat head.""
Kevin Can Wait
"Hey, guys, I'm taking a lot of unnecessary shots here today."
Kevin Can Wait
"To take down a tree or to move a pool?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Why do you need a phone charger?"
Kevin Can Wait
"♪"
Kevin Can Wait
"So, you want to... chop down Mott?"
Kevin Can Wait
"The issue is the tree."
Kevin Can Wait
"I would love to have the tree down,"
Kevin Can Wait
"but that's never gonna happen,"
Kevin Can Wait
"She's a nightmare."
Kevin Can Wait
"Maybe for you."
Kevin Can Wait
"And you're young. Okay, that's the thing."
Kevin Can Wait
"She sees the skin. She's like, "I'm a raisin.""
Kevin Can Wait
"What do I do?""
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh! I really don't think you know what you're up against."
Kevin Can Wait
"If it doesn't work, you bring a little heat."
Kevin Can Wait
"And you know what I like when I'm happy? Fajitas."
Kevin Can Wait
"I like it. It's good."
Kevin Can Wait
"You have a lot of them. I like that."
Kevin Can Wait
"Uh... I feel remiss"
Kevin Can Wait
"No."
Kevin Can Wait
"It was an e-vite, you know?"
Kevin Can Wait
"You are a very boring man."
Kevin Can Wait
"Ooh! You're going to Florida."
Kevin Can Wait
"Laying out, catch some rays... I like it."
Kevin Can Wait
"Ooh! You know what I could do?"
Kevin Can Wait
"I could cut that down while you're gone,"
Kevin Can Wait
"write up a receipt, and just charge you half."
Kevin Can Wait
"- It's dead. - Not dead."
Kevin Can Wait
"Let me put it to you this way."
Kevin Can Wait
"You want to know what I'm known for?"
Kevin Can Wait
"And guess what. I'm out of honey, all right?"
Kevin Can Wait
"and they'll rip it down themselves,"
Kevin Can Wait
"and they'll foot you with the bill."
Kevin Can Wait
"Or we can do it the easy way. You know what I'm talking about?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Rutger!"
Kevin Can Wait
"Who's Rutger? R-Rutger? I didn't even know what that..."
Kevin Can Wait
"What the hell?"
Kevin Can Wait
"_"
Kevin Can Wait
"My... My wife couldn't make it today."
Kevin Can Wait
"Anyway, we got a stick a pin in the tree thing for now."
Kevin Can Wait
"Look at that shape. That's a weird one."
Kevin Can Wait
"I told ya."
Kevin Can Wait
"And how about Rutger? He's a barrel of laughs, huh?"
Kevin Can Wait
"I don't know, but they were making fun of your boobs."
Kevin Can Wait
"- I did not like it. - What?!"
Kevin Can Wait
"All right, well, thank you, but, I mean,"
Kevin Can Wait
"and then we blame it on the storm."
Kevin Can Wait
"It's gonna be a little weird, you know?"
Kevin Can Wait
"iffy."
Kevin Can Wait
"- Yeah, yeah. But it's not a crime. - No."
Kevin Can Wait
"a neighborhood prank."
Kevin Can Wait
"comes up to you and asks you, you know,"
Kevin Can Wait
"The one they're ripping down, idiot!"
Kevin Can Wait
"Okay, you gonna work with him?"
Kevin Can Wait
"I mean, it's already half-dead."
Kevin Can Wait
"And your mom and I, what we're doing,"
Kevin Can Wait
"Yeah, and if your father works the chainsaw right,"
Kevin Can Wait
"But there's a family of squirrels that live in it."
Kevin Can Wait
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Let's just catch them,"
Kevin Can Wait
"Hold the sack against the knothole."
Kevin Can Wait
"And I think we all owe a big thanks to Chale."
Kevin Can Wait
"Wait for the rabies test to come back."
Kevin Can Wait
"Goody and I are on the guidelines."
Kevin Can Wait
"No, but I watch a bunch of those logging shows."
Kevin Can Wait
"if the cops show up, I'm flipping like a pancake."
Kevin Can Wait
"you'd do it all over again."
Kevin Can Wait
"Actually, I wouldn't."
Kevin Can Wait
"Sure."
Kevin Can Wait
"♪"
Kevin Can Wait
"All set, Duffy?"
Kevin Can Wait
"and I'm standing by."
Kevin Can Wait
"By the way, I think your milk turned."
Kevin Can Wait
"Fat-free, and you'd never know. Over."
Kevin Can Wait
"How does that stack up against soy?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Hey! Why are we talking about milk, ladies?"
Kevin Can Wait
"I think we're good to go."
Kevin Can Wait
"Yeah. Standing by."
Kevin Can Wait
"Cold and ready."
Kevin Can Wait
"Three, two..."
Kevin Can Wait
"I'll go check."
Kevin Can Wait
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