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Clips from American Dad! (2005) - Comedy (S01E01)

"where the international laws ofthe Internet apply..."
American Dad! (2005)
"and certifyyou in the career ofyour choice."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Oh, surgeon sounds fun. - Excellent."
American Dad! (2005)
"That comes with your choice of a specialty..."
American Dad! (2005)
"- His specialty is hugs. - [ Coos ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, good. You're not touching yourself."
American Dad! (2005)
"Son, I know a waywe can makeyou a better athlete and getyou in with the cool kids."
American Dad! (2005)
"We could embark on a strict three-year training program..."
American Dad! (2005)
"The C.I.A. Iab tech is on vacation and I have spare keys to his office."
American Dad! (2005)
"Iargely untested performance enhancer."
American Dad! (2005)
"Dad, face it. I'm never gonna be popular like Vince Chung."
American Dad! (2005)
"Don'tyou see, Son? Everything's betterwhen you're popular."
American Dad! (2005)
"You know when you put a piece ofJuicy Fruit in your mouth..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Iike someone sprayed a little miracle on your tongue?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Piece ofJuicy- Oh, my God."
American Dad! (2005)
"I-I have to sit down."
American Dad! (2005)
"- I never had it, Steve, butyou can. - I want it!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, I see today you're making tea."
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, today I became a surgeon. My diploma."
American Dad! (2005)
"This is printed on the back ofa Chinese takeout menu."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Feet, please. - Thanks, Francine."
American Dad! (2005)
"No, it's me, Roger. I'm finally taking charge ofthis pigsty."
American Dad! (2005)
"Now I'm going upstairs to clean behind the bookshelf."
American Dad! (2005)
"I told you, Francine, it's too expensive."
American Dad! (2005)
"You're experiencing a perfectly natural side effect called "'roid rage.""
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, I'm experiencing a side effect all right!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, my God!"
American Dad! (2005)
"So until I get the antidote, we have to keep your magnificent ta-ta's underwraps."
American Dad! (2005)
"- What am I supposed to do now? - Strap 'em down with these Ace bandages."
American Dad! (2005)
"It's what Hillary Swank used to hide her breasts in Boys Don't Cry."
American Dad! (2005)
"- An Oscar... and brutally sodomized. - Dad!"
American Dad! (2005)
"In a review by Derek Simms ofthe Detroit Free Press."
American Dad! (2005)
"Wow. Good thing I didn't wear my fake doctor's jacket."
American Dad! (2005)
"where I'm gonna get hired and do real doctor stuff."
American Dad! (2005)
"Stufflike... stethoscoping..."
American Dad! (2005)
"medicine type things, thermometer!"
American Dad! (2005)
"I taught myselfthe toilet."
American Dad! (2005)
"I just need air for a second. [ Sighs ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Killerjugs. - Oh, uh, thanks, Vince Chung."
American Dad! (2005)
"[ Both ] Whaa-aa-aa!"
American Dad! (2005)
"[ Clicks Teeth ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Butyou just said "Oh" likeyou were impressed."
American Dad! (2005)
"We need help! Ourfriend is hurt!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, the entrance is right over-"
American Dad! (2005)
"We don't have insurance! Please, Doctor, he could die!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Steve, thank God! How'd it go at school? Did anyone notice your man melons?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Uh, no. I kept them hidden likeyou said."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hey, Steve, we're going to the river. Hop in."
American Dad! (2005)
"I guess those steroids must have increased my confidence."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Dad! - I'm kidding. Not kidding!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Have fun at the river,Juicy Fruit."
American Dad! (2005)
"Nah. It looks like the water's kinda cold."
American Dad! (2005)
"But why don'tyou show us how Flipper swims backwards again."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, okay. [ Imitating Dolphin ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"That was amazing, Dr. Smith."
American Dad! (2005)
"Let me introduce everyone. You know Blind Jimmy."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Nice to meet you. - Francine..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Really? What organization is that?"
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm sorry. I don't know what that is."
American Dad! (2005)
"We operate within the "handi" community..."
American Dad! (2005)
"picking up the scraps the regular Mafia don't got time for."
American Dad! (2005)
"Forging handicap placards..."
American Dad! (2005)
"rigging the Special Olympics, the Paralympics, women's golf."
American Dad! (2005)
"We's not all mobsters, you know. I'm a country-western singer."
American Dad! (2005)
"It's called "I Gotta Be Me... and Some of Him.""
American Dad! (2005)
"I don't know. Handicapped Mafia."
American Dad! (2005)
"It seems wrong. I mean, the Mafia part, not the handicapped part."
American Dad! (2005)
"- I think it's greatyou're handicapped. - [Clattering]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Negotiations broke down with the... Braille Institute."
American Dad! (2005)
"- And they stabbed you? - No."
American Dad! (2005)
"- [ Tuning Guitar] - You gotta help him, Doc!"
American Dad! (2005)
"And so we will. Dr. Bearington will assist..."
American Dad! (2005)
"by being so snuggly!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Ooh, look at the furry, furry little guy likeyou!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Stem, stem, seeds, stem."
American Dad! (2005)
"- [ Groans ] - Oh, my God!"
American Dad! (2005)
"You're covered in blood! What happened?"
American Dad! (2005)
"I can't tell you. But I'm saving lives because that's what I do."
American Dad! (2005)
"I can't just refuse a patient because I find them morally reprehensible."
American Dad! (2005)
"- [PagerBeeping] - [ Groans ] It's work."
American Dad! (2005)
"Tell your father I'll be gone all night. Man, these hours are brutal."
American Dad! (2005)
"I like Scrubs."
American Dad! (2005)
"Wait, wait. Back up. So you said "bonus," and then Vince Chung laughed?"
American Dad! (2005)
"OrVince Chung laughed, and then you said "bonus"?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Shejust left covered in blood saying shewas gonna beworking all night."
American Dad! (2005)
"Working all night, huh?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Steve, this is the best party I've ever thrown."
American Dad! (2005)
"[ Screaming ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, hey, guys. Well, what areyou doing here?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- We're running out oftime! - Uh, I can't."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm, uh, sick."
American Dad! (2005)
"- [Crashing] - [Crowd Laughing]"
American Dad! (2005)
"## [Fades ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Little migration action. I love how that happens. Keeps it fresh. [ Gasps ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"You're not popular. You're easy!"
American Dad! (2005)
"You are not leaving this house until those milk monsters are gone!"
American Dad! (2005)
"## [Dance Rock]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Look at this."
American Dad! (2005)
"First National Bank is collecting donations for orphans."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh! I'd love to steal that money right out from under those damn greedy orphans!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Thankyou. - Well, it was getting pretty awkward."
American Dad! (2005)
"- So I gotyour message. - [Man Screaming]"
American Dad! (2005)
"- What areyou doing? - This gentleman here..."
American Dad! (2005)
"didn't wanna sell us the short buses at cost."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm sorry. I- I can't do this."
American Dad! (2005)
"I became a surgeon so my daughterwould respect me."
American Dad! (2005)
"Sorry, toots. You know too much about our organization."
American Dad! (2005)
"Once you're in, there's no way out."
American Dad! (2005)
"But... I took that lamp offyour brace."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Hayley, what are you doing here? - I was worried."
American Dad! (2005)
"You were acting so crazy. So I followed you."
American Dad! (2005)
"Good news, Steve! I got the boob antidote from the C.I.A.!"
American Dad! (2005)
"I've got to go save my son!"
American Dad! (2005)
"I've got to go save my son!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Yeah, that one's it. I've got to go save my son."
American Dad! (2005)
"## [ Singing ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"What rhymes with "drinking"? Thinking? Uh-huh. That's good. I gotta write that down."
American Dad! (2005)
"Fine. You can kill us. I just thoughtyou were better than this."
American Dad! (2005)
"I mean, wasting your time on some small-town housewife and her daughter?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Taking the scraps the real Mafia leaves behind?"
American Dad! (2005)
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