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Clips from American Dad! (2005) - Comedy (S01E01)

"##[Marching Band]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Our next film is by Hayley Smith."
American Dad! (2005)
"Thankyou. This film was inspired by my mother."
American Dad! (2005)
"Then there's my mother."
American Dad! (2005)
"## [ Western ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"[Hayley Narrating] Mom can't tellyou who her congressman is..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Never throw away old shower caps. Use them to cover casseroles."
American Dad! (2005)
"[ Laughter Continues ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Probably chillin', drinking a Mickey. He's eating Ruffles..."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Stop him! - Hey!"
American Dad! (2005)
"and used Barry's fat folds to open their beers."
American Dad! (2005)
"Come on, coach! I didn't payyou to not play my son!"
American Dad! (2005)
"[ Groans ] Thirtyyears of smoking, I'm still alive."
American Dad! (2005)
"Thirsty much?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Dude, did you just hear what Vince Chung said?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- [ Boys Laughing ] - [ Moans ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Really? How?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Oh, I'd like that! - Yeah, me neither."
American Dad! (2005)
"In case of a fire drill, I'm floor monitor. It's complicated."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Then take it! - I will!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Yes, Stan, there's a "behind the bookshelf.""
American Dad! (2005)
"I have boobs!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Let's not panic. The C.I.A. scientist gets back from vacation in a few days."
American Dad! (2005)
"Steve, is this really the time for showbiz trivia? You've got breasts!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- That would have been awkward. - I'll haveyou know this is a real doctor's jacket."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Uh, Steve, right? - Uh, yeah."
American Dad! (2005)
"Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh."
American Dad! (2005)
"Doctor."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hey, pal. Ready to work on our science fair project?"
American Dad! (2005)
"That's Vince freaking Chung. What's he want with you?"
American Dad! (2005)
"How do I say this nicely? Loser! Loser! Loser!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Hey, howyou doin'? - And Little Tex."
American Dad! (2005)
"But it don't really matter what we call him 'cause he's deaf. Ain't that right, Melissa?"
American Dad! (2005)
"we want you to come work for our organization as our permanent physician."
American Dad! (2005)
"The Handicapped Mafia."
American Dad! (2005)
"- The what now? - The Handicapped Mafia."
American Dad! (2005)
"Just cut my first demo."
American Dad! (2005)
"So, Doc, what doyou say?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Damn it, Eddie! I slept with you. - [DoorOpens ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Salsa on the carpet! But I vacuumed-"
American Dad! (2005)
"Coasters!"
American Dad! (2005)
"[ Doorbell Rings ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"We're supposed to work on our science fair project, remember?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Hey, has anyone seen Steve?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Oh, my God! - Oh, my God!"
American Dad! (2005)
"How can you just use him like that? He's a person, not a girl!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Just soyou know, I had the shot!"
American Dad! (2005)
"[DoorOpens ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"[ Grunting ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"[ Gasps ] He's gone!"
American Dad! (2005)
"I bet he's going to Vince Chung's inscrutable party."
American Dad! (2005)
"I have to make him understand they're just using him."
American Dad! (2005)
"I've got... to go save... my son."
American Dad! (2005)
"Where are you taking us?"
American Dad! (2005)
"A place where we like to dump dead bodies."
American Dad! (2005)
"[ Men Laughing ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"What areyou babbling about?"
American Dad! (2005)
"You betterhave apoint, lady!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Neitherwas I until I saw my daughter's movie."
American Dad! (2005)
"To First National Bank!"
American Dad! (2005)
"You can do anything you want!"
American Dad! (2005)
"That's that then."
American Dad! (2005)
"[ Boys Chattering ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Dad, what are you doing?"
American Dad! (2005)
"No! No! You guys are my friends."
American Dad! (2005)
"Don't worry, Son. They're not getting any. Your old man's just a tease."
American Dad! (2005)
"No problem. Got it under control."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm sorry I pushed you to be popular."
American Dad! (2005)
"Bread sticks, courtesy oftable four."
American Dad! (2005)
"Not too eager, Son. Theyjust bought us bread."
American Dad! (2005)
"## [ Continues ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Why waste money? A si m ple blanket stitch makes old socks new again."
American Dad! (2005)
"but she does know this."
American Dad! (2005)
"- [ Gasps ] - [ Crowd Laughing ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Honey, you're not a total idiot."
American Dad! (2005)
"I mean, you got the point ofthe film, right? What the-"
American Dad! (2005)
"- ## [Alternative ] - A raging teenage house party in our neighborhood?"
American Dad! (2005)
"[ Gasps ] Steve, I can't believe you're here!"
American Dad! (2005)
"We're quantifying the molecular-"
American Dad! (2005)
"Steve, ifyou're ever gonna crawl out ofthis geek swamp..."
American Dad! (2005)
"you gotta log some face time with the cool kids."
American Dad! (2005)
"Now get going!"
American Dad! (2005)
"I'd, uh, ditch fatty and dim sum on the way there. They're gonna blow the ratio."
American Dad! (2005)
"Her film made me look like a boring housewife who's only good at cleaning!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Oh, that is an outrage! - Thankyou, Roger."
American Dad! (2005)
"You're a terrible cleaner! Look at this place! It's filthy!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Yeah, that's a big dirty "S" for schmutz."
American Dad! (2005)
"My film was the biggest hit in GroffCommunity College history."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hayley, did you ever consider thatyour film..."
American Dad! (2005)
"might make my life look, well, worthless?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Come on, Mom. Women are doing bold, exciting things."
American Dad! (2005)
"- And you're- - What?"
American Dad! (2005)
"The H.M.S. Cucumber declares war on poor nutrition."
American Dad! (2005)
"Admiral Egg spots hunger off the starboard bow."
American Dad! (2005)
"He's launching baby corn torpedoes!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Ew! Look at this."
American Dad! (2005)
"Now hold the ladder. I wanna come down."
American Dad! (2005)
"What doyou think Steve's doing at the party?"
American Dad! (2005)
"debating whether or not to hook up with that black chick."
American Dad! (2005)
"Do it, Steve. Do it for both of us."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, oh, a lot of parties."
American Dad! (2005)
"Delivery for the popular party."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm so wasted!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Yeah, I was pretty popular. - [Door Opens ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Hey! How was the party?"
American Dad! (2005)
"They gave me and Snot swirlies, threw Toshi in the trash..."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm gonna make a necklace."
American Dad! (2005)
"Mr. S., those parties aren't for guys like us. They're forjocks."
American Dad! (2005)
"Jocks, huh?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Scared he's gonna be too good? [ Clucking ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Smith, you're in!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- You hear that? This is your chance! - Yea! This is my chance!"
American Dad! (2005)
"[Deep Breathing]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Sorry about my unusually thick tongue."
American Dad! (2005)
"He forgot to stretch, that's all. Just, uh, needs to walk it off."
American Dad! (2005)
"Yeah, he's so cool and popular, you forget he's Asian."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hi. I gotyour exclusive invitation under mywindshield wiper."
American Dad! (2005)
"My daughter doesn't respect me. So, I'm here to change my life."
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, then welcome."
American Dad! (2005)
"We takeyou the legally required 67 miles offshore..."
American Dad! (2005)
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