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Clips from Ted 2 (2015)

"What?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"It's always good to find new ways to surprise your lover."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Yeah, I got to take a leak."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Sorry, Allison. I tried."
Ted 2 (2015)
"(SIGHS) it's okay. I just wish he wasn't so goddamn cute."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Yeah. Hey, can I get a Jack Daniel's"
Ted 2 (2015)
"with just a splash of Grey Goose?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Oh, come on. I've been coming here since the '90s!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"ALLISON: Sorry, buddy. No can do."
Ted 2 (2015)
"that Jay Leno comes in here for gay bathroom sex."
Ted 2 (2015)
"JOHN: Hey, what the fuck are you doing? Get off of me!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"(STRAINING) There we go. Thanks a lot, come again."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Hey."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Hello."
Ted 2 (2015)
"I'd, uh, like to ask a few questions about this breakfast cereal."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Uh, yeah, yeah. Box of Trix."
Ted 2 (2015)
"I've been led to understand that Trix are exclusively for children."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Is that correct?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"I... I mean, they say, uh, Trix are for kids in the commercials."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Uh-huh. Uh-huh."
Ted 2 (2015)
"And is that enforced by law?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Uh, not to my knowledge, no."
Ted 2 (2015)
"So if I purchase these Trix, there'll be no trouble?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"No. No, you... You should be fine."
Ted 2 (2015)
"You do understand that I myself am not a child?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Okay, I'm going to bring these back to my apartment."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Uh,yeah,yeah. You'll___ You'll be okay."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Hey."
Ted 2 (2015)
"I won't forget what you've done for me here today."
Ted 2 (2015)
"I would prefer that you do."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Jesus Christ."
Ted 2 (2015)
"(slGHs)"
Ted 2 (2015)
"You two still not talking?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"No."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Honest to God, Joy, I don't know how to fix this."
Ted 2 (2015)
"I mean, how the hell do you take"
Ted 2 (2015)
"a broken marriage and make it work again?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Well, I'll tell you one way. You have yourselves a baby."
Ted 2 (2015)
"A baby?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Uh-huh. Look at that."
Ted 2 (2015)
"You see them two white niggas over there?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"(INDISTINCT) Yeah. What?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Look at them. They're so happy."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Because they got that little baby keeping them together."
Ted 2 (2015)
"I don't know, Teddy. Something's got to change, you know?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Because I can't do this no more. it's too much."
Ted 2 (2015)
"I know, I know, I know. And... And that's why..."
Ted 2 (2015)
"I wanna have a baby."
Ted 2 (2015)
"You do?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"A baby? Like really?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Yeah."
Ted 2 (2015)
"See, I think, if we got a kid to love,"
Ted 2 (2015)
"it'll teach us how to love each other again."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Oh, my God, Teddy."
Ted 2 (2015)
"You better not be messing with me."
Ted 2 (2015)
"I swear to God, not messing with you."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Oh, my God! Are you kidding me?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"I would, like, kick so much ass at mommin'! (CHUCKLES)"
Ted 2 (2015)
"So what do you say? We all good?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Yes! Oh, I love you!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"I love you so much!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Oh, baby, I love you, too! (SMOOCHES)"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Let's make a baby! Let's make a baby!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"TED: Let me know when you're ready to go"
Ted 2 (2015)
"and I'll stick a bottle of Newman's Own in you."
Ted 2 (2015)
"(TAMI-LYNN MOANS) All the profits go to charity."
Ted 2 (2015)
"You had sexual intercourse"
Ted 2 (2015)
"that we're supposed to sell to the public"
Ted 2 (2015)
"for their Fourth of July barbecues."
Ted 2 (2015)
"I fucked her with a pack of Freedent."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Then I put it back on the shelf and a senior citizen bought it."
Ted 2 (2015)
"That took guts."
Ted 2 (2015)
"We need guts."
Ted 2 (2015)
"I'm naming the store after you."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Okay, you ready? Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Here it comes. Okay, okay. I'm ready."
Ted 2 (2015)
"(JOHN HUMMING) TED: (SINGING) Let's all go to court"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Let's go make some law now"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Some law now"
Ted 2 (2015)
"I say we go to court!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"JOHN: Yes, let's go to court!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"a whole hallway with our conversation."
Ted 2 (2015)
"(SINGING) Hey, you lawyer guys"
Ted 2 (2015)
"You don't know me and Johnny are watching you"
Ted 2 (2015)
"While we 're high"
Ted 2 (2015)
"That was fucking magic."
Ted 2 (2015)
"That felt smooth. That felt really smooth. Oh!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"So in the pocket."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Hey, so, uh, listen, I got, uh..."
Ted 2 (2015)
"I got some big news to tell ya."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Oh, yeah? What's that?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Holy Shit! YOU?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Dude, that's fucking awesome! Congratulations!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Thank you!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Wait, wait, wait. How... How... How do you guys..."
Ted 2 (2015)
"And, um, I'm wondering, what do you think"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Sam Jones would say if I asked him?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"You want Flash Gordon to father your child?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Yeah, I mean, do you think..."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Would that be weird? Would he be freaked out if I..."
Ted 2 (2015)
"No, I think he'd be flattered!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"And plus, your baby will be a fucking superhero!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Well, that was the logic I arrived at as well."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Yeah, I say do it!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"All right. I'll shoot him an e-mail right now,"
Ted 2 (2015)
"and see if I can stop by tonight."
Ted 2 (2015)
"You come with me? Sure."
Ted 2 (2015)
"All right, great."
Ted 2 (2015)
"I can never get a signal in your apartment. Hey, can I use your laptop?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Yeah, go ahead. Okay, thanks."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Holy shit! Dude, what's the matter? What happened?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"What's going on?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"There's so much porn!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Well, what the hell are you doing looking at my private shit?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"What are you talking about, private snit? Johnny, it was wide open!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Jesus Christ. Look at the organization here!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Clockwise rim job. Counterclockwise rim job!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Yeah, well, sometimes you like seeing the tongue go the other way!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Oh, my God! (SOBS) I have a disease, all right? I need help!"
Ted 2 (2015)
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