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Clips from Ted 2 (2015)

"Oh, this is such a relief!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"I'm so glad I'm finally caught. I wanted to be caught!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Johnny, now you listen to me. This is a wake-up call, all right?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"You got to get back out there and meet somebody"
Ted 2 (2015)
"All right, fine, I will. Just stop looking at that shit, please!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Johnny, I mean it. All right?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Fine, I got it. Done."
Ted 2 (2015)
"What do you mean? We'll just delete the files!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"No,no,no. That shit can always be recovered."
Ted 2 (2015)
"We got to smash your laptop with a hammer."
Ted 2 (2015)
"All right, there, you happy?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"No, the circuits could still be reconstructed if somebody worked at it."
Ted 2 (2015)
"We got to bury it in the harbor."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Okay. We'll come back once every three months,"
Ted 2 (2015)
"take a dive and check on it."
Ted 2 (2015)
"TED: So, uh, basically that's it. We need a sperm donor."
Ted 2 (2015)
"So what do ya say?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"You'd really be helping me and Tami out."
Ted 2 (2015)
"No can do, my brother."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Well... Well, why not?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Oh, look, I did a lot of blow in the '80s"
Ted 2 (2015)
"and my sperm count's a little low."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Oh. How low?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"One."
Ted 2 (2015)
"One?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Yeah, little fella's having his own I Am Legend in my nut sack."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Oh. Can we have that one?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"No! Gonna need it for protein if I ever get lost at sea."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Come on, guys. I mean, are we done here? I got to go."
Ted 2 (2015)
"That Sister, Sister marathon ain't gonna watch itself."
Ted 2 (2015)
"I know. And after I watched his"
Ted 2 (2015)
"piece-of-shit movie, like, a hundred times."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Ah! Oh, Shit!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"He's the only guy in the world whose sperm"
Ted 2 (2015)
"is even close to Flash Gordon's_"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Ted, it's insane. We could get in a lot of trouble."
Ted 2 (2015)
"But not if nobody finds out."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Look, look, John, John."
Ted 2 (2015)
"and sneak out with the sperm. it'll be easy!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"And think how awesome the baby will be."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Would be a sweet-ass fucking baby."
Ted 2 (2015)
"All right, I'll help you. But we got to have a game plan."
Ted 2 (2015)
"(KNOCKING ON DOOR)"
Ted 2 (2015)
"(slGHING)"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Yeah, can I help you?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Hey! Um, are you, uh, Tom Brady?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Yeah."
Ted 2 (2015)
"JOHN: Um, hey. Um..."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Your neighbors called,"
Ted 2 (2015)
"and your air conditioner's making aloud noise"
Ted 2 (2015)
"so I'm supposed to check out the unit."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Uh, okay. Yeah, it's around back."
Ted 2 (2015)
"I got to get some parts, for the billing."
Ted 2 (2015)
"You could just, uh, write that to John and Ted. Put number 12."
Ted 2 (2015)
"And you're not a cheater. I mean, I think your balls are perfect."
Ted 2 (2015)
"It's around back. All right. Yeah."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Take the damn raincoat off. it's making too much noise."
Ted 2 (2015)
"guaranteed first ballot Hall of Famer."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Now let's give him a handjob into this red Solo cup."
Ted 2 (2015)
"(WHISPERS) All right. Go ahead."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Wait, what do you mean, Go ahead? You got to do it."
Ted 2 (2015)
"What are you talking about? You're the one who needs the sperm."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Yeah, but it's got to be a human hand."
Ted 2 (2015)
"It's got to be skin on skin, otherwise it doesn't work."
Ted 2 (2015)
"No, it doesn't_ It's just friction."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Look, I've never done this before. Neither have I."
Ted 2 (2015)
"You do it to yourself. Yeah, but that's different."
Ted 2 (2015)
"You're an adult with a poster of this guy in your fucking room."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Yeah, I want it! You know I want it, but I'm nervous."
Ted 2 (2015)
"What if he doesn't like the way I'm doing it? He deserves the best!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Pull yourself together, for God's sakes_"
Ted 2 (2015)
"(GASPS)"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Sweet God and baby Jesus."
Ted 2 (2015)
"(SHOUTS) what the hell?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"What are you doing here? Who are you?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Get out of my house!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"(STUTTERS) Wait, Mr. Brady!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Holy shit! Perfect spiral!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Come on, let's get out of here!"
Ted 2 (2015)
"What the hell do we do now?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"(PANTING)"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Why didn't you just come to me?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"What are you talking about?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"For the sperm."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Oh. Johnny, you kidding me, man? You were the first person I wanted to go to."
Ted 2 (2015)
"But you've just been so bummed out"
Ted 2 (2015)
"over your divorce lately"
Ted 2 (2015)
"that I just... You know, I didn't want to put you in an awkward position."
Ted 2 (2015)
"And plus, after seeing your laptop,"
Ted 2 (2015)
"I didn't think you had any left."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Really? You'd... You'd do that for me?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Ted, you're my best friend. I'd do anything for you."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Besides, we just broke into Tom Brady's house and tried to jerk him off..."
Ted 2 (2015)
"You're ready to be a parent."
Ted 2 (2015)
"I don't know what to say."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Hey, thunder buddies for life, remember?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Thunder buddies for life."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Come on. We got to get out of here before the cops show up."
Ted 2 (2015)
"MALE OFFICER: All units, we have a 3-17 on Maple Drive. Area units, please respond."
Ted 2 (2015)
"What's a 3-17?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Someone's trying to steal Tom Brady's jizz again."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Welcome to Boston, kid."
Ted 2 (2015)
"What is that? What?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"What do you mean you're getting ready?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"What are you doing to your hand?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"I'm doing this for you. I'm getting ready. I got to go in and perform."
Ted 2 (2015)
"You got your hand on your dick. What are you doing?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"I'm trying to get it half hard,"
Ted 2 (2015)
"so when I get in there I could just bust it out."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Sitting out here in public, jerking off?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Where do you think you are? Red Lobster? What are you doing?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"What do you think I got to do in there?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"smoked pot for two whole days, right?"
Ted 2 (2015)
"Yes, I told you, I'm clean, all right? Your baby's gonna be fine."
Ted 2 (2015)
"I got to feed with a pitchfork when he's 16."
Ted 2 (2015)
"John Bennett."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Hi."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Right this way. I'll show you where to deposit your specimen."
Ted 2 (2015)
"Hey, Johnny. Johnny."
Ted 2 (2015)
"I'm John Bennett."
Ted 2 (2015)
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