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Clips from The League (2009) - Sunday at Ruxin's (S01E01)

"I'm running to the bar to watch the games with the guys."
The League (2009)
"Why is she picking up shit?"
The League (2009)
"Fun with feces?"
The League (2009)
"To two of my good friends."
The League (2009)
"Mr. Frank Gore and Mr. Andre Johnson."
The League (2009)
"I can back up my smack talk, my friend."
The League (2009)
"- That's nice. - All this can be fixed."
The League (2009)
"She's fun, she's cool."
The League (2009)
"Gotta go. All right, bye."
The League (2009)
"I, um..."
The League (2009)
"Do you have, like, an emergency spider vein, or a tit popped or something like that?"
The League (2009)
"Planting the seed and then I've grown into a beautiful flower..."
The League (2009)
"...and now everyone wants to smell me. So smell it?"
The League (2009)
"- High-five. - There he is."
The League (2009)
"- I'm sorry. Heh. I'm so sorry. - All right? Hey, it's cool."
The League (2009)
"You wanna play it that way? All right, that's fine."
The League (2009)
"Hi, this is Pete. I'd like to speak with Terry Bradshaw, please."
The League (2009)
"Yeah, it's a personal matter so just returning his call."
The League (2009)
"Hi, I have Peter calling for Mr. Bradshaw."
The League (2009)
"I was thinking about football..."
The League (2009)
"You used to sit on my lap, pony rides, Pete."
The League (2009)
"I once had a policeman..."
The League (2009)
"Just hook me up once, please. Is LT gonna play?"
The League (2009)
"- Two small ones but I'm trying to use them. - I do admire that."
The League (2009)
"It's a baby."
The League (2009)
"- Look at the baby. - Goodness."
The League (2009)
"- He's beautiful. - He is."
The League (2009)
"Yeah."
The League (2009)
"- Thank you. - Yes."
The League (2009)
"- Hey. - Oh, hi."
The League (2009)
"I told you in confidence that we were trying to have another baby."
The League (2009)
"If it was a boy, we wanted to name it Cale."
The League (2009)
"Because now, instead of Cale, we're gonna have to name him after one of her uncles."
The League (2009)
"- Watch it. - Just go."
The League (2009)
"No. No, it doesn't bother me."
The League (2009)
"...and bring in the breeding stallion."
The League (2009)
"Yep. Hey."
The League (2009)
"- This is the third call. - Hold on one sec?"
The League (2009)
"I gotta go, man. I can't talk to you, it's..."
The League (2009)
"You're not gonna keep on making jokes?"
The League (2009)
"You mean that the semen's dissolving all the enamel?"
The League (2009)
"Oh, Andre, we care about your enamel.""
The League (2009)
"Nobody likes the honeydew."
The League (2009)
"- No, not a chance. - No."
The League (2009)
"We need you to take care of this."
The League (2009)
"I put her down for a nap a half-hour ago."
The League (2009)
"- Exciting. - No, you sit down."
The League (2009)
"Goods not as advertised, Ruxin."
The League (2009)
"We wanna watch the football games. What are you doing?"
The League (2009)
"I don't trust any of you, but I'm willing to try."
The League (2009)
"- In the other room, watching football. - Yeah, right."
The League (2009)
"- Done. - Paella time."
The League (2009)
"- You wanna hold it? - lf I have to."
The League (2009)
"- You're not going anywhere. - I have to check in with a patient."
The League (2009)
"- Hey, you take care of business? - Yeah, it's over."
The League (2009)
"Hello, everyone. I'm Terry Bradshaw from Fox Sports Studio."
The League (2009)
"It looks like you better sell your house, because only winners live here."
The League (2009)
"- Slam list. - Slam list."
The League (2009)
"In case you have to battle-rap someone?"
The League (2009)
"Okay, this is a good one. Um..."
The League (2009)
"...because Jack the Ripper's slicing up losers."
The League (2009)
"I got the spoons and the cinnamon for the coffee."
The League (2009)
"- All right. - He's such a good helper."
The League (2009)
"Hey, can you give my girl a foot rub if she needs one?"
The League (2009)
"- Oh, he's not getting up. - Oh, no. He hurt his ankle."
The League (2009)
"You know what I just realized?"
The League (2009)
"- Excuse me, they knew? - Sorry."
The League (2009)
"Have you guys been working in collusion? You're all against me."
The League (2009)
"- You saying my daughter's a psychopath? - She should be sent abroad."
The League (2009)
"Did I hear something about a carnival?"
The League (2009)
"- Next weekend, same time, same place? - You host a magnificent party, Sofia."
The League (2009)
"- It's not my fault. - It's your fault."
The League (2009)
"- Over the name Cale? - Yeah, it's lost some of its luster."
The League (2009)
"- Oh, no, no, no. - Why?"
The League (2009)
"- Why? - Where did that shirt come from?"
The League (2009)
"I don't know. Found it in the back."
The League (2009)
"- I figured I haven't worn it in a while... - It needs to go way back, further."
The League (2009)
"- Why would I change? Yeah. - Why would you change?"
The League (2009)
"- Why would you wear that? - I don't know."
The League (2009)
"Mommy, Daddy, look what I found in the toilet."
The League (2009)
"- Where did you get that, sweetheart? - I made it."
The League (2009)
"- You made that? - You made it?"
The League (2009)
"Yes, you did."
The League (2009)
"Don't squeeze it."
The League (2009)
"- That was shit. She has shit in her hand. - Mm-hm."
The League (2009)
"I've read about this before. It's like fun with feces."
The League (2009)
"I've taken dumps before. It's fun, you take a picture of it."
The League (2009)
"- Send it to friends. - Disgusting."
The League (2009)
"You don't whip it around your head like a churro."
The League (2009)
"- Just let her grow out of it. - You're the mother, deal with this."
The League (2009)
"- Don't tell anybody. - I'm not gonna tell anyone."
The League (2009)
"- Nobody knows about this poop situation. - Obviously."
The League (2009)
"I'm putting it in the kitchen."
The League (2009)
"- Okay, honey... - No, no, no, baby, don't."
The League (2009)
"Leading the Double Ent-Andres to victory."
The League (2009)
"This is my worst nightmare. Losing to you."
The League (2009)
"I was expecting a little bit of a challenge this week."
The League (2009)
"- But your team is so terrible. - Oh, stop."
The League (2009)
"This is like Freaky Friday. Like, Kevin has gone into Andre's body."
The League (2009)
"The roles have reversed."
The League (2009)
"Guess what. I'm your mother, but I'm cool now."
The League (2009)
"- What do you mean? - You reversed roles and he's crushing you."
The League (2009)
"I'm Jamie Lee Curtis, you're Lindsay Lohan."
The League (2009)
"I'm cool, you're not."
The League (2009)
"- This is what I lost to? - Wow."
The League (2009)
"You know, I do talk a lot of smack, guys, but it's only because I can:"
The League (2009)
"- What does that mean? - Back it up."
The League (2009)
"Okay, really? Stereo?"
The League (2009)
"When the guy's right, he's right. Knows what he's doing."
The League (2009)
"Hi, I got off the phone with the out-of-towners."
The League (2009)
"Vince would like me to give you the number for a shelter..."
The League (2009)
"...because Andre beat your ass so bad."
The League (2009)
"All you have to do is win."
The League (2009)
"I will win, okay, but there's something strange going on here."
The League (2009)
"Can I just say, next week, I would like to extend an invitation to you..."
The League (2009)
"...to watch the games at my house and have a meal provided by my lovely wife."
The League (2009)
"I have not been invited over since the arrival of The First Human Child. Have you been?"
The League (2009)
"- I don't know if I have security clearance. - I don't."
The League (2009)
"- Do you? - No, I haven't been through the scanners."
The League (2009)
"We got a dog. Ellie can play with the dog."
The League (2009)
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