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Clips from Seinfeld - The Dealership (S09E09)

"How low are you gonna go?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, I've been in the slash many times."
Seinfeld
"This is nothing. You'll get used to it."
Seinfeld
"Just put it out of your mind."
Seinfeld
"Have you ever been completely below the slash?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I almost did once and I blacked out."
Seinfeld
"When I came to the car was in a ditch and the tank was full."
Seinfeld
"I don't know who did it. And I never got to thank them."
Seinfeld
"Mr. Kramer, the road."
Seinfeld
"If you wanna play hardball, I got my friend George..."
Seinfeld
"...and he can play pretty hard. Ball."
Seinfeld
"George. Vein it up."
Seinfeld
"All right, Puddy, listen and listen good."
Seinfeld
"Big guy, a liar, short name. Sam, Mo, Sol-"
Seinfeld
"George, can we focus on the car here?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I need your signature here..."
Seinfeld
"...and we'll get you that yellow car ready to go."
Seinfeld
"Yellow? I wanted black."
Seinfeld
"I can't give you black at that price."
Seinfeld
"Yes. This is wrong."
Seinfeld
"Sing it, sister!"
Seinfeld
"Mo, Sol or Lem is not gonna get away with this."
Seinfeld
"- I'll be right back. - Okay."
Seinfeld
"- No, sir. We are down there. - Oh, this is amazing."
Seinfeld
"Oh, I never felt so alive."
Seinfeld
"- What? Well, we can't stop now. - What do you mean?"
Seinfeld
"We have to keep going to the dealership. That was the plan."
Seinfeld
"- There's no plan. - Well, let's make it the plan."
Seinfeld
"Let's just go for it like Thelma and Louise."
Seinfeld
"You are one sick mama. I like it."
Seinfeld
"- Hello? - You gotta back down to the dealer."
Seinfeld
"You gotta get back with Puddy so I can make this deal."
Seinfeld
"You know, just that you cared enough to call means so much, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"You're gonna get back together. It's thousands of dollars."
Seinfeld
"I don't know."
Seinfeld
"You don't have to see him again until my 15,000-mile check."
Seinfeld
"- Will you pay my cab fare out there? - Fine."
Seinfeld
"I didn't like that roast beef so how about lunch?"
Seinfeld
"- No, no lunch. - I'll hang this phone up right now."
Seinfeld
"- All right, lunch. - See you."
Seinfeld
"Bye. Everybody's ripping me off."
Seinfeld
"I'd like to report a problem with one of your mechanics."
Seinfeld
"When did you bring your car in?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, right. I'm gonna get my car repaired at a dealership."
Seinfeld
"Why don't I just flush my money down the toilet?"
Seinfeld
"One of your guys, Kip or Ned-"
Seinfeld
"Short name. - Stole my Twix candy bar."
Seinfeld
"Are you saying he grabbed your candy bar away from you?"
Seinfeld
"He might as well have."
Seinfeld
"I caught him and his face was covered in chocolate and cookie crumbs."
Seinfeld
"- I thought you said it was a Twix? - Oh, it was."
Seinfeld
"But he claimed it was a 5th Avenue bar."
Seinfeld
"- Maybe it was. - Oh, no. No."
Seinfeld
"Twix is the only candy with the cookie crunch."
Seinfeld
"- Nougat? Positive? - No. Please."
Seinfeld
"You know they changed the name from $100,000 bar to Hundred Grand?"
Seinfeld
"All I want is my 75 cents back, an apology, and for him to be fired."
Seinfeld
"I remember when you used to be able to get a Hershey for a nickel."
Seinfeld
"What's the one with the swirling chocolate in the commercial?"
Seinfeld
"Not Skittles."
Seinfeld
"Dad, I told you you could sit here only if you don't talk."
Seinfeld
"You make your father sit here all day?"
Seinfeld
"- He likes it. - All right. Do you mind?"
Seinfeld
"Now, what're you gonna do about my Twix?"
Seinfeld
"- Twix has too much coconut. - No, there's no coconut!"
Seinfeld
"- I'm allergic to coconut. - I'm not."
Seinfeld
"A nickel."
Seinfeld
"- Cab receipt. Hey, Puddy. - I'm with a customer."
Seinfeld
"What's important is you two getting back together."
Seinfeld
"I don't wanna get back with her. She's bossy."
Seinfeld
"David."
Seinfeld
"Okay."
Seinfeld
"Now, I know this is an important decision."
Seinfeld
"Why don't we all just sit down and talk about it?"
Seinfeld
"Come on. Come on."
Seinfeld
"- Right. - Right."
Seinfeld
"Clearly, no one else can stand to be with either one of you."
Seinfeld
"- I guess. - Good point."
Seinfeld
"All right."
Seinfeld
"Now, what do I have to do to put you two in a relationship today?"
Seinfeld
"Cars can go on empty, but not us humans, huh, fella?"
Seinfeld
"- I'll get us a couple of Twix bars. - No."
Seinfeld
"No coconut for me."
Seinfeld
"All right, I'll get you a Mounds bar. Keep the engine running."
Seinfeld
"No, man, not the gas."
Seinfeld
"But it needs it, Kramer. It needs it bad."
Seinfeld
"You really think this will make you happy? Because it won't."
Seinfeld
"You should go on without me."
Seinfeld
"...and that tank is bone-dry, I want you to be there with me..."
Seinfeld
"...when everyone says, Kramer and that other guy..."
Seinfeld
"...they went farther to the left of the slash than anyone ever dreamed."
Seinfeld
"Maybe we'd better get moving."
Seinfeld
"It's good to have you back, Stan."
Seinfeld
"Mr. Costanza, I really don't have time for this."
Seinfeld
"Now, if this mechanic guy was, in fact..."
Seinfeld
"...eating a 5th Avenue bar, as he claims..."
Seinfeld
"...wouldn't you agree he would have no problem..."
Seinfeld
"...picking one out from a candy lineup?"
Seinfeld
"Candy lineup?"
Seinfeld
"I've spent the last hour preparing 10 candy bars..."
Seinfeld
"That took you an hour?"
Seinfeld
"And so without further ado..."
Seinfeld
"...I give you..."
Seinfeld
"...the candy lineup."
Seinfeld
"Hey, Willie, check it out, free candy."
Seinfeld
"That's my candy lineup. Where are my cards?"
Seinfeld
"They're all on the floor."
Seinfeld
"And you? How many Twix does that make for you today?"
Seinfeld
"- Like, eight Twix? - No."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, this Clark bar is good. - It's a Twix."
Seinfeld
"They're all Twix. It was a setup."
Seinfeld
"A setup, I tell you. And you've robbed it."
Seinfeld
"You've all screwed me again."
Seinfeld
"Now, give me one. Give me a Twix."
Seinfeld
"They're all gone."
Seinfeld
"Twix!"
Seinfeld
"What was that?"
Seinfeld
"There's a mental hospital right near here."
Seinfeld
"All right, Elaine, David..."
Seinfeld
"...I believe we have a deal here in principle."
Seinfeld
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