Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Seinfeld - The Note (S03E03)

"And, George, you'll be with Raymond."
Seinfeld
"But Raymond is a man."
Seinfeld
"That's right."
Seinfeld
"I can't get a massage from a man."
Seinfeld
"- Why not? - What, are you crazy?"
Seinfeld
"I can't have a man touching me."
Seinfeld
"Switch with me."
Seinfeld
"I don't want the man either."
Seinfeld
"What? You're a woman. They're supposed to be touching you."
Seinfeld
"- He'd just be touching your back. - He'd just be touching your back too."
Seinfeld
"- No, it could get sexual. - I know."
Seinfeld
"That's the point. If it's gonna get sexual, it should get sexual with you."
Seinfeld
"- I wouldn't be comfortable. - I would?"
Seinfeld
"- What if something happens? - Oh, what could happen?"
Seinfeld
"What if it felt good?"
Seinfeld
"- It's supposed to feel good. - I don't want it to feel good."
Seinfeld
"- Then why get the massage? - Exactly."
Seinfeld
"George."
Seinfeld
"- Yes. - I'm Raymond."
Seinfeld
"Hello."
Seinfeld
"Are you ready?"
Seinfeld
"And then Julianna asked me if I wanted to join her here in the office."
Seinfeld
"Really?"
Seinfeld
"Used to be a flight attendant."
Seinfeld
"Oh, boy."
Seinfeld
"Why don't you open those pants. It's gonna be a lot easier that way."
Seinfeld
"- So, what do you do? - What?"
Seinfeld
"I said, what do you do?"
Seinfeld
"I don't know."
Seinfeld
"Oh, come on."
Seinfeld
"- You're very tense. - Coffee. Too much coffee."
Seinfeld
"Oh, the hamstring's fine."
Seinfeld
"- But you wrote that it was tender. - I wrote. I wrote."
Seinfeld
"- Are you sure? - Yeah. Take them off."
Seinfeld
"How did you hurt this?"
Seinfeld
"I don't know."
Seinfeld
"- But you just told me. - Korea."
Seinfeld
"- You hurt it in Korea? - What?"
Seinfeld
"- The hamstring. - Korea."
Seinfeld
"How?"
Seinfeld
"How did you hurt the hamstring?"
Seinfeld
"Hotel."
Seinfeld
"How'd it go?"
Seinfeld
"George?"
Seinfeld
"No appointments at all? Because my neck is still tight."
Seinfeld
"What about Thursday?"
Seinfeld
"And Friday?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, boy. Okay. Thanks anyway."
Seinfeld
"What's with you?"
Seinfeld
"A..."
Seinfeld
"Yes. A..."
Seinfeld
"A man gave me..."
Seinfeld
"Yes. A man gave you..."
Seinfeld
"A man gave me..."
Seinfeld
"...a massage."
Seinfeld
"- So? - So he..."
Seinfeld
"...had his hands and..."
Seinfeld
"He was..."
Seinfeld
"- He was what? - He-He was..."
Seinfeld
"...touching and rubbing."
Seinfeld
"That's a massage."
Seinfeld
"- Then I took my pants off. - You took your pants off?"
Seinfeld
"For my hamstring."
Seinfeld
"...two inches from..."
Seinfeld
"I think it moved."
Seinfeld
"- It moved? - It may have moved. I don't know."
Seinfeld
"- I'm sure it didn't move. - It moved!"
Seinfeld
"Maybe it just wanted to change positions. You know..."
Seinfeld
"- ...shift to the other side. - No, no."
Seinfeld
"It wasn't a shift. I've shifted. This was a move."
Seinfeld
"- Okay. So what if it moved? - That's the sign, the test."
Seinfeld
"If a- If a man makes it move."
Seinfeld
"That's not the test. Contact is the test."
Seinfeld
"If it moves as a result of contact."
Seinfeld
"Do you think it's contact? It has to be touched?"
Seinfeld
"That's what a gym teacher once told me."
Seinfeld
"I just saw Joe DiMaggio in Dinky Doughnuts."
Seinfeld
"You know, I looked in there and there he was having coffee and a doughnut."
Seinfeld
"- Joe DiMaggio. - No. I'm sorry."
Seinfeld
"If Joe DiMaggio wants a doughnut, he goes to a fancy restaurant."
Seinfeld
"He's not sitting in Dinky Doughnuts."
Seinfeld
"I don't like to sit next to men on airplanes..."
Seinfeld
"...because our knees might touch."
Seinfeld
"I can't see Joe DiMaggio sitting at the counter..."
Seinfeld
"...at little, tiny, filthy, smelly Dinky Doughnuts."
Seinfeld
"He can have a doughnut, but not a Dinky."
Seinfeld
"I don't even like to use urinals. Always been a stall man."
Seinfeld
"Look, I'm telling-"
Seinfeld
"I'm telling you, that was Joe DiMaggio."
Seinfeld
"The guy slept with Marilyn Monroe. He's in Dinky Doughnuts."
Seinfeld
"What about this doctor's note?"
Seinfeld
"- Let's go see Roy. - I never said I'd do that."
Seinfeld
"What are you talking about? That's 75 bucks."
Seinfeld
"I'm not working. I can't afford that."
Seinfeld
"I don't know how I feel about it."
Seinfeld
"Oh, what are you, like a Quaker now?"
Seinfeld
"All right, all right."
Seinfeld
"So we were wondering if it was possible for you to write us a note."
Seinfeld
"- He didn't say he can't. - If you feel funny about it at all."
Seinfeld
"- He doesn't feel funny. - If he does."
Seinfeld
"- Do you feel funny? - Forget it."
Seinfeld
"- He didn't say anything. - He feels funny."
Seinfeld
"- You don't have to do this. - He knows that!"
Seinfeld
"Should we go? Is this a breach of our friendship?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, can you be any more dramatic?"
Seinfeld
"Don't be ridiculous."
Seinfeld
"He's got a hell of a body, doesn't he?"
Seinfeld
"How would I know?"
Seinfeld
"Do you like him?"
Seinfeld
"What do you mean, like him?"
Seinfeld
"- Do you like him? - Well, I mean, he's a good fighter..."
Seinfeld
"...and a nice guy, but I don't like him."
Seinfeld
"- How come you don't like him? - Why should I?"
Seinfeld
"- What is the matter with you? - Nothing. Why?"
Seinfeld
"- So you want the notes? - You don't have to, really."
Seinfeld
"We should probably get one for Elaine too, right, George?"
Seinfeld
"George?"
Seinfeld
"George."
Seinfeld
"What about the week after?"
Seinfeld
"What?"
Seinfeld
Show more clips