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Clips from Man of the Year (2006)

"Tom, can't you do just two jokes of mine?"
Man of the Year (2006)
"You're a comedian who talks about politics. So when you talk about politics without the comedy,"
Man of the Year (2006)
"You'll quickly discover something is missing."
Man of the Year (2006)
"they bring up a constitutional amendment to ban burning of the flag."
Man of the Year (2006)
"That's where most of the money goes in any political campaign."
Man of the Year (2006)
"Politicians have to spend so much money just to buy TV time."
Man of the Year (2006)
"This is where the special-interest groups start."
Man of the Year (2006)
"When you have a political campaign that costs $200 million,"
Man of the Year (2006)
"That's why I refuse to run television commercials."
Man of the Year (2006)
"Richard Pryor in his prime, or Kofi Annan, the head of the U.N.?"
Man of the Year (2006)
"But I'd like to be with Kofi just to say, Coffee, Kofi?"
Man of the Year (2006)
"- Tom Dobbs is gonna be in the debate! - What?"
Man of the Year (2006)
"They're gonna let him participate in the debate. Have we struck gold or what!"
Man of the Year (2006)
"We can write it, but is he gonna do any of it?"
Man of the Year (2006)
"All candidates who demonstrate seriousness of purpose and significant support"
Man of the Year (2006)
"going into the final 30 days of an election"
Man of the Year (2006)
"should be included in debates. Unquote."
Man of the Year (2006)
"Yes!"
Man of the Year (2006)
"He's by far the strongest of the independents and I'm very much looking forward to the debate."
Man of the Year (2006)
"I'm more than confident of my decisions, my positions,"
Man of the Year (2006)
"and my relationship with the voting public."
Man of the Year (2006)
"I think the first thing you gotta do is say you have unconfirmed information"
Man of the Year (2006)
"that the other candidates have had sex with farm animals."
Man of the Year (2006)
"It goes back to the Johnson thing."
Man of the Year (2006)
"President Johnson said he wanted to accuse his opponents of having sex with animals. OK?"
Man of the Year (2006)
"His staffer said, How can you prove that?"
Man of the Year (2006)
"He said, I can't, but I wanna hear them deny it."
Man of the Year (2006)
"- Seriousness of purpose. - The debate is gonna be a night full of pomposity."
Man of the Year (2006)
"This is our night to shine, Tom. This is the opportunity of a lifetime."
Man of the Year (2006)
"It's like the comic who gets to play Carnegie Hall but shows up and plays the violin."
Man of the Year (2006)
"It's not what they go to see."
Man of the Year (2006)
"- How many does it take to make my point? - (laughter)"
Man of the Year (2006)
"I didn't mean to yell."
Man of the Year (2006)
"You gotta cut loose. In this debate, get your show attitude in there."
Man of the Year (2006)
"They got me in because of my seriousness of purpose."
Man of the Year (2006)
"- That's why we're in this debate. - Serious talk puts us to sleep."
Man of the Year (2006)
"Wait a second. Do you think anybody remembers the issues?"
Man of the Year (2006)
"When was the last time any human being, any American, watched the debate and went:"
Man of the Year (2006)
"- Oh, God! Did you hear what he said? - I believe he talked about fiscal policy."
Man of the Year (2006)
"All they remember is Nixon sweating like Elizabeth Taylor after a Mexican meal."
Man of the Year (2006)
"- That's not good. - (laughter)"
Man of the Year (2006)
"I'm begging you, please. I'm like a man without water. An acerbic comment, would it kill you?"
Man of the Year (2006)
"News from comedians. How crazy is that?"
Man of the Year (2006)
"Let's move on. Alison, Jenny, your thoughts."
Man of the Year (2006)
"I hope this doesn't sound silly, but the other two candidates are family men."
Man of the Year (2006)
"She's right, Tom. As soon as the program starts and we see the candidates' wives in their red suits..."
Man of the Year (2006)
"It's not a bad idea really, is it? Part West Wing, part Bachelor. Hey, that's not bad."
Man of the Year (2006)
"Here's our first contestant. Your name, please?"
Man of the Year (2006)
"Yes, my name is Rachel Tensions."
Man of the Year (2006)
"Yes, indeed, dear. Contestant No. 2, your name?"
Man of the Year (2006)
"My name is Miss Sogyny."
Man of the Year (2006)
"Yes, I thought he was really hot."
Man of the Year (2006)
"I like a dirty environment, if you know what I mean."
Man of the Year (2006)
"I want a man who's not afraid to go in the wetlands and drill."
Man of the Year (2006)
"Deep drill, you know? Get down in the mud and take it home, daddy. That's how I feel."
Man of the Year (2006)
"It's a piece-of-shit idea that could work."
Man of the Year (2006)
"Yeah, but you're running..."
Man of the Year (2006)
"You're running because the people wanted you to run."
Man of the Year (2006)
"Why do you think they wanted you to run? To listen to you talk about issues? Are you kidding me?"
Man of the Year (2006)
"- I can barely listen to you talk about issues. - Have I not said this a hundred times?"
Man of the Year (2006)
"(# Hurdy Gurdy Man by Donovan)"
Man of the Year (2006)
"Menken."
Man of the Year (2006)
"- Look at this. - It's like the circus."
Man of the Year (2006)
"- This is nuts. - When I was a kid, I was in the circus."
Man of the Year (2006)
"- No. - Yes. I used to shave elephants."
Man of the Year (2006)
"You started in the tent, you're back in the tent."
Man of the Year (2006)
"I'm not kidding. They grow these big beards. In the wild they rub it on trees."
Man of the Year (2006)
"In the circus you shave them with a blowtorch."
Man of the Year (2006)
"One of those pump things with gasoline. You throw it all over their face."
Man of the Year (2006)
"You gonna have coffee?"
Man of the Year (2006)
"- How long have you been smoking? - Since I was seven."
Man of the Year (2006)
"Since you were seven."
Man of the Year (2006)
"My father was a big smoker."
Man of the Year (2006)
"have spent approximately $195 million apiece on the campaign for media advertising,"
Man of the Year (2006)
"Here's the very latest. Dobbs is running at about 17% in the 13 states where he's on the ballot."
Man of the Year (2006)
"...compared to a network show, he has been extremely influential in some smaller circles."
Man of the Year (2006)
"- We got some clips. Are they ready? - I TiVo all his shows."
Man of the Year (2006)
"Here's some excerpts."
Man of the Year (2006)
"- with breast implants. - (laughter)"
Man of the Year (2006)
"The number of rear-end collisions has increased 95% in Sweden."
Man of the Year (2006)
"Also Pope Benedict has mechanized the Swiss Guard"
Man of the Year (2006)
"and said, It's my choice. I do it for the Church and for the Fatherland."
Man of the Year (2006)
"You know, I didn't mention this at the time when he was chosen Pope."
Man of the Year (2006)
"I was always hoping in my own heart for a Brazilian Pope - Pope Raul -"
Man of the Year (2006)
"I was thinking that would bring a lot of people back to the Church."
Man of the Year (2006)
"- You've got really great skin. - Thank you."
Man of the Year (2006)
"- A little bit of a tan. - Thanks. I went to a tanning salon."
Man of the Year (2006)
"- George Hamilton. Doesn't he have a grill? - No, that's George Foreman."
Man of the Year (2006)
"You wanna get married? I need a wife before the debate."
Man of the Year (2006)
"- Interested? - Uh... I don't know, Mr. Dobbs."
Man of the Year (2006)
"We could find a nice house on Pennsylvania Avenue, nothing ostentatious."
Man of the Year (2006)
"Helicopter pad in the back, couple of thousand phone lines, staff of 60. Come on."
Man of the Year (2006)
"Are you nervous?"
Man of the Year (2006)
"Why else would I propose to a woman I never met before?"
Man of the Year (2006)
"You've got two minutes, Tom."
Man of the Year (2006)
"the Republican nominee, Senator Mills,"
Man of the Year (2006)
"and for the first time included in tonight's debate, the independent, Tom Dobbs."
Man of the Year (2006)
"- for tonight's 90-minute debate which is coming... - Cute."
Man of the Year (2006)
"- Cleavage. Is that legal? - Very cute."
Man of the Year (2006)
"As always, each candidate will have up to two minutes to make a closing statement."
Man of the Year (2006)
"Gentlemen, again, good evening and welcome. Let's begin."
Man of the Year (2006)
"Mr. Dobbs, how would you explain your decision to run for President of the United States?"
Man of the Year (2006)
"I decided to run because I'm fed up with party politics."
Man of the Year (2006)
"- Edgy! - There's no real difference."
Man of the Year (2006)
"Basically, you have a thing here where, here's the operative word: party."
Man of the Year (2006)
"Behind closed doors, I think they just have a good time."
Man of the Year (2006)
"When you read the transcripts, some of the things your Secretary of Defense says,"
Man of the Year (2006)
"- I think there must be an open bar somewhere. - (audience laughter)"
Man of the Year (2006)
"They're responsible to the people, not party loyalties -"
Man of the Year (2006)
"and definitely not lobbyists."
Man of the Year (2006)
"- That's why I want to run for President. - Not punchy enough."
Man of the Year (2006)
"- You have one minute remaining on your time. - Needs a little more flare."
Man of the Year (2006)
"- Can I get a refund? - We will continue."
Man of the Year (2006)
"First of all, thank you, Faith. And thank all of you who are responsible for having us here."
Man of the Year (2006)
"- This guy smiles so much, it's upsetting me. - I thank all of those who made this possible."
Man of the Year (2006)
"And if I may reiterate some of the comments of Senator Mills"
Man of the Year (2006)
"- my love to them, my love to all of you who... - What?!"
Man of the Year (2006)
"- He's talking about his wife and children. - Why's he running on? Who cares?"
Man of the Year (2006)
"And that's why I have been a very rigorous advocate of tough security measures."
Man of the Year (2006)
"President Kellogg and I think alike in this area."
Man of the Year (2006)
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