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Clips from The Simpsons - Goo Goo Gai Pan (S16E16)

"except for one thing."
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"You forgot to fill out the name of your husband."
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"Husband. - Of course."
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"The Chinese government only allows wholesome,"
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"No "hen without cock.""
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"I apologize if that is a double-entendre in your language."
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"It is not in ours. - Don't worry."
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"I'll just write my husband's name on this form."
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"Have you ever heard of MacGyver?"
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"Oh yes. Big star. Big star."
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"We know he's not married to you."
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"Right, right, right."
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"And don't forget--"
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"your husband must go with you to China to pick up the baby."
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"All right, here I go. Writing the name."
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"Yes, Homer Simpson is my whole world."
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"I love him."
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"Yeah, those Sloppy Joes will do that."
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"How about that Selma ?"
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"Flying all of us to China for no apparent reason."
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"And how about me getting off work"
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"by saying I'm teaching math skills to inner city youths?"
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"he has to pretend to be my husband?"
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"Wait till the Drambuie and sleeping pills kick in."
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"Hey, look, a dragon."
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"Hello, Homer."
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"I'll give you... one."
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"The other dragons shall hear of this."
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"Hey, dragon!"
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"You fly like a girl!"
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"Go, go, go!"
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"You name it, oh, wise mountain ape."
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"You have to pretend to be my husband."
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"Nooo!"
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"That's him--"
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"the man who broke a dragon's heart."
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"The man who broke a dragon's heart..."
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"Homer, if you do this one small favor,"
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"it could transform Selma's life."
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"But, Marge, I don't want her to be happy!"
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"Deal! - Do it for me."
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"Oh! Okay, I'll do it."
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"'Cause your sweet love is the one thing"
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"that saved my life from being an unmitigated disaster."
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"Ha-ha! Now we're even!"
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"We have started our descent"
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"and will soon be landing in Beijing."
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"If you look out the left side of the aircraft,"
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"you will see our monument to warrior"
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"and spicy chicken pioneer, General Gao."
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"It makes the Lincoln Memorial look like crap."
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"Very good."
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"You have passport, husband."
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"All we need now is the sack of 10,000 happinesses."
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"to explore our nation's ancient culture."
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"And it will give me a chance to closely observe"
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"the intimate details of your married life."
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"our children, Bart and Lisa. Yes."
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"And this is Marge, our surprisingly hot nanny."
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"Mmm. Thank you, Mr. Simpson."
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"Don't mention it, Miss..."
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"October."
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"But don't look at her passport--"
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"it's different."
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"They pursue spiritual peace"
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"through mastery of bare-fisted murder."
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"I've heard of these guys."
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"You can wave your arms at them and make funny faces,"
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"and they just have to stand there and take it."
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"Homer, no, stop; you're thinking of Buckingham Palace!"
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"What?"
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"I hope you washed your hands first."
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"Oh-ho, look at him sleeping."
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"He's like a little angel that killed 50 million people."
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"Yes, you are! Yes, you are!"
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"The Great Wall of China was begun nearly 2,000 years ago"
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"in order to repel barbarian invaders."
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"we'll finally make it over."
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"All right,"
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"everyone take a break"
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"and come back Monday with five fresh ideas."
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"Can't make it Monday. My kid has a thing."
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"When I was 17,"
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"I walked into the jungle,"
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"and by 21, I walked out."
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"And by God, I was rich!"
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"Boys, you see what I was talking about?"
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"I finally get this play!"
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"So, Mr. Simpson, what do you do for a living?"
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"I'm a nuclear..."
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"Wait a minute."
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"These guys don't know me."
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"I could be whatever I want."
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"I'm a Chinese acrobat!"
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"You shall be back in the land you love soon."
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"Tomorrow, we will give you your baby."
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"Oh, my God! Really?"
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"My life begins at last!"
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"That is quite an insult to your other children."
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"We understand, ma'am."
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"Lisa, soon you will have a Chinese baby sister who will surpass you academically."
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"I don't know about that."
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"I'm considered pretty smart."
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"Well, Tibet was considered "pretty independent.""
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"How'd that work out?"
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"How dare you make light of that brutal...?"
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"Mind your manners, Lisa."
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"Such loving discipline."
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"Maybe someday, someone will love you too, childless servant."
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"I regret to inform you that our final stunt will not be performed."
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"Our star acrobat had an onset of outspokenness"
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"and suffered a bullet-related death."
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"This is most disillusioning!"
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"It seems our leaders are not all-knowing!"
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"Now I will question everything!"
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"Why doesn't Pearl Jam ever come here?!"
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"We need your acrobatic skills."
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"Only you can prevent this riot and save our beloved Communist dictatorship."
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"You guys are Commies?"
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"Then why am I seeing rudimentary free markets?"
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