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Clips from The Simpsons - Goo Goo Gai Pan (S16E16)

"Just go perform that stunt!"
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"Unless you are not who you claim to be."
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"Show time!"
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"I give you the great American acrobat Homer Simpson"
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"to attempt our most popular stunt--"
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"Nice chair toss."
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"Good one, skinny."
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"You guys get these chairs from Regal Rents?"
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"Boy, you're a great stacker."
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"Hi, Lisa."
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"Now, that's precarious."
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"Boy, this is easy."
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"Maybe I am the world's greatest acrobat."
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"You're curing me with acupuncture."
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"No, a porcupine snuck in while you were asleep."
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"Go on, shoo!"
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"Come back in year of porcupine."
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"Which is never!"
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"I'd like you all to meet someone."
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"Selma, she's beautiful!"
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"This is Homer, your daddy."
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"Without him, I wouldn't have you."
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"She likes my eyes."
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"Homer, I do appreciate what you did."
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"How'd you like a little time with "Miss October"?"
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"I would, but Marge would kill me..."
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"I mean, ohh, right."
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"Homer, of all the sneaky, dishonest things you've ever done,"
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"playing Selma's husband was by far the sweetest."
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"It wasn't easy, Marge."
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"I missed you so much."
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"One quick snuggle."
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"Is there any other kind?"
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"Fool me once, shame on you."
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"Fool me twice, shame on Wu!"
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"Ling, you're gonna be very happy in America,"
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"unlike everyone else there."
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"Selma Bouvier, this man is not your husband."
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"And for that, no adoption."
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"They took my baby."
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"Wow, the fortune cookies here really are more accurate."
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"I am so sorry about what happened."
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"But at least you saw what it was like to be married to me for a little while."
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"Listen, I've got a plan to get Ling back."
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"But we must be discreet."
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"You never know where there might be a spy."
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"Don't have cattle, dude."
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"Let's talk about this outside."
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"Yeah, Dad."
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"You look just like a Buddha statue."
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"Now, all you need is an expression of utter serenity."
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"Just think about the day you found that Junior Mint in your belly button."
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"A Buddha statue?"
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"We cannot leave it outside."
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"Feng shui?"
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"I thought that was just a trick to sell crappy end tables to the West."
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"Just put this hook in his nostril and pull."
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"I've never moved a Buddha this heavy."
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"Let's cut him in chunks and worship the chunks."
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"Now let's see, which one is Ling?"
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"Ling?"
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"Ling?"
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"If we can just get to the Delta Airlines Gold Medallion Lounge,"
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"they can't get in without spending frequent flier miles."
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"Plus, we get free apple, orange and grapefruit juice."
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"I'm afraid that juice is not on your tongue just yet."
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"Give the baby back."
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"I cannot allow her to be raised by an unmarried woman."
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"Madam Wu, I too work for a cruel and faceless empire:"
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"the Department of Motor Vehicles."
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"May I talk to you bureaucrat to bureaucrat?"
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"Yes. But you first must sign this form."
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"And initial here."
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"And here."
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"Now we must find a notary."
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"This is Wang Pu's time to shine."
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"Proceed."
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"Madam Wu, we both love the enforcement of pointless rules."
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"to help someone who thinks all hope is gone."
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"I was this woman's husband for a few days--"
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"in name only, and beer will soon obliterate that memory--"
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"but I don't think this baby could find any greater love on your planet or ours."
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"You may not believe this, but I once was a baby myself."
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"My father was a ping-pong champion."
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"The Heimlich maneuver was invented the very next day."
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"My mother raised me alone, so I know it can be done."
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"You may keep your baby."
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"But you, drop the panda!"
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"Why you little...!"
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"I'll endanger you."
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"Good-bye, Simpsons."
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"As a spoiled American teenager."
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"Something's wrong with Bart."
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"He's acting weird."
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"Feast on my shorts, stupid father man."
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"Wait, you're not Bart."
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"Close enough."
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"Now we sleep for a thousand years"
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"When we wake, the world will end."
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"David Silverman here, supervising director of The Simpsons,"
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"and tonight, I'm going to show you how to draw Bart."
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"Now, we start of with a tin can, like this,"
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"and a little tuna fish can for the bottom part of his head."
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"A little hinge of an ear, and a big sausage for a nose."
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"Two giant golf balls for eyes."
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"Now, here's a trick about the hair--"
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"it's one, two, three, four,"
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"five, six, seven, eight, nine points."
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"And, there you go."
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"Perfect Barts every time."
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"Now, once you've mastered how to draw Bart,"
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"you can put him in all sorts of costumes."
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"Some that he likes."
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"Some that he hates."
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"Well, that's it, my friends."
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"Thank you very much."
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"Those are my lungs!"
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"Consulate of China Russia's wacky neighbor"
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"Homer, I'm gonna need you to do something for me"
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"Chair Man Wow!"
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