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Clips from The Golden Girls - The Return of Dorothy's Ex (S01E01)

"Your heart is true"
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"And the card attached would say"
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"- What do you think? - I can't decide."
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"The important thing is that it's over. Come on in."
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"- Do I have a choice? - You're beautiful."
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"Well, I must say, you're taking it fairly well."
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"The people are rude, the streets are full of criminals, everything's overpriced."
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"But you know what? Hollywood's not a bad idea."
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"And you know what else I don't understand?"
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"No, they have to."
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"Come on in, girls."
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"We could stop the sale of that property and build the home we always dreamed of."
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"There are so many things that we can do together."
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"All right, I have not decided what to do about Stan."
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"Take it from me, honey. There is no gentle way to end it with a man."
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"Oh, what are we celebrating?"
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"I realize that now."
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"Dorothy, wait. Chrissy, there is nothing to discuss."
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"Chrissy, something happened here in Miami."
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"Let me get this straight,"
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"Thank you for being a friend"
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"Traveled down the road and back again"
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"You're a pal and a confidante"
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"And if you threw a party"
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"You would see the biggest gift would be from me"
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"Thank you for being a friend"
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"(whistles)"
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"Oh, honey, trust me, Martinique is perfect."
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"It has everything and all the men speak French."
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"What do the women speak?"
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"- Honey, everybody speaks French. - Then we can't go there."
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"- I don't know any French. - Don't worry."
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"All you need to know are two phrases - yes, and no, your roommate can't watch."
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"I was thinking maybe some place like Williamsburg, Virginia."
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"Or maybe Washington, D.C."
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"You're moving, Rose? Too bad. This would be touching if I liked you more."
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"I'm not moving, Sophia. The three of us are planning a vacation together."
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"Without me?"
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"We were hoping that maybe you'd stay here and watch the house."
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"Why don't you take the house? I'll stay here and watch the hole in the ground!"
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"Hello, everybody. Hi, Ma."
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"Brooke Shields takes her mother everywhere!"
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"- She just found out about our vacation. - We thought you were gonna tell her."
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"I was waiting for the right moment."
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"You know, like right after we landed in New York."
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"New York? I want to go to an island."
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"New York is an island."
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"No, I mean some place where swarthy men who don't speak English"
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"rub oil all over your body."
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"Great, then we can go for a ride on the subway."
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"- Stan's here. - Oh."
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"What is he doing here?"
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"He needs my signature on some papers so I told him he could stop by."
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"- Oh. - Where is he?"
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"I left him on the doorstep."
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"I wanted the neighbors to see what a bacia-galoop you married."
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"I'll be back in a minute."
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"Where is this vacation spot that doesn't allow mothers?"
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"Look, Ma, please. We'll discuss this after Stan leaves."
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"What's to discuss?"
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"You're leaving me behind to guard the house like an old watchdog."
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"I hope a neighbor comes by to give me fresh water."
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"- Hello, Stan. - Dorothy, hello."
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"- You look fantastic. - Please, please, Stan."
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"No hugging, no kissing. Let's just do it and get it over with."
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"Sounds like the last few years of our marriage."
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"I wish it was that good."
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"- It wasn't that bad. - No, you're right."
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"Hello, Sophia."
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"So, did you bring the young chippy with you?"
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"Ma, come on, you're talking about his wife. So did you bring the bimbo?"
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"Chrissy's back in Maui."
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"I just came to sell a piece of property that Dorothy and I bought"
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"when we were in Miami on our honeymoon."
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"- Just sign on the last page. - Read it first."
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"The last time he had you sign something, I ended up in a home."
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"Relax. It's just property where Dorothy and I talked about retiring someday."
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"Wait a minute, Stan. I can't sign this now."
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"Oh, come on, babe. I thought everything was agreed."
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"But this has to be signed in front of a notary public and don't call me babe."
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"Darn! Can you meet me at a notary's tomorrow?"
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"I'll call you in the morning and make the arrangements."
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"So long, Sophia! You're beautiful, too."
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"- Why did I ever marry that man? - Because he knocked you up."
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"- Why did I ever let that happen? - 'Cause he got you drunk."
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"Why am I even discussing this with you?"
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"Beats the hell out of me."
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"You sure all you want is coffee? The corned beef here is really primo."
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"No. I didn't even want the coffee."
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"You were the one who said it'd be rude if I didn't join you."
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"Besides, I thought the little woman had you eating things like sprouts and roots"
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"and those green things that grow under boats."
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"Let's not talk about Chrissy."
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"Oh, come on. We've had a bitter divorce"
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"that time has softened into a hostile relationship."
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"Face it, our topics of conversation are limited."
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"Come on. We just sold a piece of property"
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"that we bought on our honeymoon. Don't you feel a little sentimental?"
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"No."
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"What do you say we take a drive and take one last look at it?"
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"Oh, two hours in a car with my ex-husband,"
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"looking at a piece of swampland that I don't even own anymore..."
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"Oh, Stan, you really know how to show a girl a good time."
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"She left me."
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"- What? - Chrissy left me for a younger man."
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"Younger than Chrissy? Where did she meet him, Camp Snoopy?"
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"I didn't want to say anything. What the hell, you deserve to gloat a little."
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"I deserve to gloat a lot!"
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"But I can't. I know what the pain is like and I wouldn't wish it on..."
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"I don't know how to finish that sentence - I usually say Stan."
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"- When did it happen? - Ah, a couple of months ago."
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"She told me she thought we were no longer sexually compatible."
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"She didn't say it exactly in those words."
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"Of course not. Those words have more than one syllable."
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"Anyway, she found a guy with a few less miles on his surfboard and that was that."
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"It's a front."
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"You sure you're not going to say "I told you so?""
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"You're a good person, Dorothy."
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"- You want some? - Oh, wonderful!"
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"Half a pound of cholesterol."
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