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Clips from New Girl - Valentine's Day (S01E01)

"Yeah, it's a sewing kit."
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"Sorry."
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"- You're kidding. - Wow. What a coincidence."
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"Baby. Hi."
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"- Yeah, yeah. - Okay."
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"Damn it."
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"- Now I gotta do all this stuff. - I know. I'm sorry."
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"Uh, this is my ex, Amy. We broke up last week."
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"Uh..."
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"You know what?"
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"You did all the work wrong, though."
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"I'm sorry."
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"What?"
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"Bye."
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"Oh, it's classic Nick Miller. Look, I'm holding your hand."
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"Ha, ha. Yeah, I wanna go out tonight."
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"Ugh, couples. Ew. Hiss."
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"Every time you have sex with the same person..."
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"you die just a little bit."
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"It's like a copy of a copy."
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"Lucky us, we get to go out looking for some strange. Happy V-Day, player."
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"Holla. Truth is I don't go out on Valentine's Day."
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"- What? - There's no thrill."
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"All these bars filled with emotionally vulnerable women."
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"Like a Dominican teenager playing Little League."
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"It's not fair for everybody else."
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"It's my first single Valentine's Day in six years..."
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"and I need to go out, okay? We need to go out."
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"Because I'm feeling pretty twirly."
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"- Twirly? - Twirly."
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"- Is that like horny? - I got the dirty twirls, Schmidty."
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"Watch out because you're about to get laid, world."
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"- Who's that girl? - Who's that girl?"
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"- Who's that girl? - Who's that girl?"
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"It's Jess"
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"So we're doing this, full-on Valentine's."
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"- What'd you do last year? - Uh, I was fighting with Caroline."
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"- What about? - You know, the usual."
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"About how I make too much money, I dress too fancy..."
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"I'm too good at communicating my feelings."
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"- Right. - This year we're gonna make up for it."
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"You and me are gonna do a real Valentine's Day date."
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"I know. God, what's the plan?"
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"- You're gonna need a map of Arizona. - I can get that."
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"A container you're comfortable getting urine in."
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"- Oh, I have one in my purse. - You do?"
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"No. Bad idea."
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"You can't go on a first date on Valentine's Day."
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"I'm telling you, it's not a first date. We used to hook up all the time."
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"For two years, I had her number in my phone as "Shretty.""
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"I was too drunk to type "Shelby.""
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"She just wants a relaxed night in. It actually sounds kind of sexy."
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"- We're trying to figure each other out. - Know where that puts you in six months?"
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"Watching It's Complicated on DVD while you cradle your newborn baby."
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"And guess what. It's not complicated."
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"It's about rich white people remodeling their kitchen."
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"- You sure you're really ready for that? - It's gonna be great."
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"- What are you doing? - Packing an overnight bag..."
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"in case I have one-night sex."
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"- I've got T-shirt, socks... - Is this a sewing kit?"
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"Stain remover. Hello?"
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"You don't have one-night stands. You get way too attached."
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"You could have a connection with a shoe on the side of the road."
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"Oh, one shoe? I hate that."
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"- Is this Schmidt's idea? - It's my idea."
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"I wanna try a one-night stand."
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"Tonight is all about what Little Jess wants."
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"Little Jess."
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"All right. I am gonna text Kyle and tell him to meet us at the bar..."
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"because I'm not leaving you alone like this with all of that."
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"I'm sorry, I don't know who's smelling what tonight."
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"Excuse me, know where Julia Cleary's office is?"
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"Uh, she need to sign for something? Little late for a package."
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"Let me guess, your bike broke down. Fixed-gear, single-speed."
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"- Been rocking a three-speed. - I'm not a messenger."
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"Follow me. - Okay."
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"She can get pretty cranky when she gets interrupted."
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"But I'll tell you what, I would still hit that."
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"I mean, despite the age difference, I would just take that to Pound Town."
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"You know what I mean?"
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"Just take her on a visit to the boneyard. You know what I'm saying?"
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"Hey, Nick. That's my boyfriend, Nick."
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"Hi. That's my little intern, Cliff."
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"- Excuse me. - What?"
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"Could you get him a water? Thank you."
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"Hey, Cliff."
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"Thanks, Cliff."
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"Sorry it's such a mess in here."
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"But I went full out with the cheesy Valentine's Day stuff."
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"Are you ready for it?"
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"- What did you do? - Ha, ha!"
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"- Heart boxers. The best. - Right?"
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"Putting them on right now. You can't stop me."
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"I don't wanna stop you because I am gonna be rocking this action."
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"You were born to wear that thing."
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"- Never talk about any of this to anybody. - Can we go?"
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"I have a little bit more work to do. Just like an hour."
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"Hey, babe. - Ooh, you brought wine."
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"- Yeah. - We're almost out. It's not the food."
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"Come on in. Pick out a polish."
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"He looks like a player."
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"Ah, never mind."
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"I thought we said no guys."
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"- Ugh. - I am not touching his feet."
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"- I'm not kidding you. - Amazing."
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"Where's what's-his-name?"
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"We are actually gonna meet up later because he's got a little surprise for me."
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"- Spoiler. It's his penis. - Okay, stop. Enough. Pay attention."
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"- You're from Oregon? - Yeah."
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"I'm from Oregon. - Oh, no. What?"
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"- How often do you meet Oregonians? - I don't know."
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"- Oh, could you hold on one second? - Yeah. Sure."
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"Oh, my God, he's from Oregon. I'm from Oregon."
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"- Bad idea. - Can't do this."
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"- Horrible. You bonded emotionally. - Sorry."
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"Having sex with him, it's gonna be missionary with a lot of eye contact."
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"- That is not one-night-stand material. - Listen to him."
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"He's right on this one. Sorry."
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"I know what I'm talking about. I have my 10,000 hours."
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"Hmm? Outliers. You should read it. Malcolm Gladwell."
New Girl
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