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Clips from Chappelle's Show - Episode #1.2 (S01E01)

"(applauding)"
Chappelle's Show
"which I was surprised about."
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"The only way people would listen to the stuff I think"
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"And I actually happen to have a pretty white girl here."
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"Good evening, pretty white woman."
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"AIDS was too."
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"On second thought, yeah he did."
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"Gay sex is gross."
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"Sorry I just find it to be gross,"
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"I wouldn't mind sticking a finger or two"
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"(applause)"
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"One time, I had a three way with these two guys in college"
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"Yeah, that'd be it, that'd be it."
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"without a rubber."
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"You know, uh, in the quest to get paid"
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"like Miss Cleo, you understand?"
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"But I'm gonna do mine real."
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"You see?"
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"You from south of the border?"
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"You drive a pickup truck, don't you, Miguel?"
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"Bam!"
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"All right, before you even say anything,"
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"Hold up."
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"for the same shit."
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"Hey, y'all,"
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"here comes some jokes!"
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"she said, "girl, you have got to get down to Emery,"
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"and made a lot of friends and had a really good time!"
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""the wrap it up box!""
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"everywhere you go!"
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"it says, "wrap it up.""
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"You'd better wrap it up!"
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"That's what I was telling you."
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"With "The Wrap It Up Box," things will come to an end"
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"Have you ever felt this in your life?"
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"Psych, you thought I was done didn't you?"
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"(music playing)"
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"How about that?"
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"That's a wrap!"
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"So keep my name out your mouth"
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"And if you think that I'm talking about you"
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"If the shoe fits, shut the fuck up,"
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"Yes, welcome back."
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"Anyone who grew up around Reagan had drug-awareness week, right?"
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"And at the end of the week,"
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"I know that was the case at my school."
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"Y'all tell anybody, I'll kill you!"
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"He kicked his habit back in the joint,"
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"now he's back on point."
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"Look out crack, here I come!"
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"Let's hear it for Tyrone Biggums!"
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"(applauding)"
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"It is truly an honor and a privilege"
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"I say it's a privilege,"
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"I should not be in front of you today!"
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"Can you say marijuana?"
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"very inexpensive and affordable."
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"and ate cookies with me and sang songs for 16 hours."
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"And Mickey Mouse was doing the bass line like this,"
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"and meet a Latin American fellow named Martinez..."
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"How will I know when drugs around,"
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"delicious!"
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"Ha, ha, ha, ha!"
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"I was mistaken."
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"You're welcome, teacher bitch!"
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"I'm not finished, but that's all right."
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"Thank you, kids!"
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"He's been away for while but he's back around."
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"He's finally home, he's Tyrone."
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"(cheering)"
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"Oh, my gosh."
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"Just so all you know, that's not real doo-doo."
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"It was a Snickers Bar,"
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"All right, look, we're gonna take a quick commercial break,"
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"Welcome back, man."
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"'Cause if I gotta make a move dog,"
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"It's Mos Def what you call real for sure."
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"Hell no."
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"They all talk fast but they all think slow."
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"Flood your city with the black ink flow,"
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"like he conscious."
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"I don't play games I don't player hate y'all."
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"This shit will let you know"
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"the one that real niggas got their hand raised for."
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"to the streets, to the beats,"
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"Don't push me 'cause I'm close"
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"to the edge, back, middle, and front."
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"before they find out the town law is strictly enforced."
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"Your people shouting out your name in their song."
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"Buying paint to put your face on the wall."
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"the quiet, the livest, the realest, and that's close."
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"from the big and the small."
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"Bang it, bang it boom bang, diggy boom."
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"My man, Meek, hooked this up."
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"Yeah."
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"Good."
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"Yeah, right?"
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"I gotta say that he..."
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"We'll see you next week!"
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"(cheers & applause)"
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"Hi, thank you!"
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"Peanut butter and crack sandwich!"
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"Get out the way!"
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"Chappelle's Show. Chappelle's Show."
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"Chappelle's Show."
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"Chappelle's Show."
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"Ow."
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"Woo hoo hoo."
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"Woo hoo."
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"Let's start the show."
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"Hey, thank you, brother, thank you."
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"All right, everybody."
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"Thanks for coming back."
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"Welcome to Chappelle's Show."
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"that were written calling us controversial,"
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"That's the thing about being on TV,"
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"you just never can say what you wanna say, man."
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"'Cause, if I said everything I thought"
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"it would just freak America out."
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"saying half the things I be thinking."
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