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Clips from Bob's Burgers - Weekend at Mort's (S01E01)

"- Don't rub it in. - Calm down."
Bob's Burgers
"Hey, she replied!"
Bob's Burgers
"Already? Too soon. Am I right?"
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"Okay."
Bob's Burgers
"- You're dying out there, kid. - Yeah."
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"“Mort, it's a date. See you at eight.”"
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"- Everybody hates you. - I know. I'm blowing it."
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"She's a rhymer."
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"- Should I call for help on the emergency phone? - Hold on."
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"Go, Mort. I mean, it could be fun, two morticians."
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"Hey, What if you and Linda come too?"
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"How many times in our life will we get a chance to wander unsupervised in a morgue?"
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"- No, no. - Yeah! A double date!"
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"Yeah. Won't that be scary?"
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"- Oh, but who would watch the kids? - Right. Yeah."
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"Tina, you don't babysit from here. You babysit from here."
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"- Tina can babysit. - I can?"
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"- My boob? -[Sighs] Yes, your boob."
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"Oh, come on. We're a little old to be babysat."
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"- Really? - Yeah."
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"- Isn't that an outdated concept? - No."
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"Need I remind you What happened last time she was “in charge”?"
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"- What's your boob telling you, Tina? - I don't know."
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"[High-pitched] Explore the morgue."
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"- Explore the morgue? - That-a-girl!"
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"Hobo dinner!"
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"[Gene Screams]"
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"Sorry, just hungry."
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"- ♪[Reggae] ♪ - ♪ Try da ziti tonight ♪"
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"All right. You bought the ticket. You take the ride."
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"♪ Oh, yeah it's on da special tonight ♪"
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"Bobby, they're playing our song."
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"What? Our song isn't “Ziti Tonight.”"
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"Bob, we are going out tonight."
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"[Gasps] Oh, I think that's her!"
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"- But just for a couple hours. And I'm wearing my lazy pants. - Okay."
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"- I'm Samantha. - Well, it's quite a pleasure to meet you, Samantha."
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"And I'm gonna drink... a lot."
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"Yay! Double date! All right!"
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"- Hi. - Hi. We're on our honeymoon."
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"[Linda Laughing] Oh! I love it."
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"Oh. Congratulations?"
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"I feel like we’re in Jamaica."
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"Ooh! Jamaican honeymoon."
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"Well, technically-"
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"You be just in time for “pastafarian” night with garlic “dreadsticks,” mon."
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"Not technically."
Bob's Burgers
"Stop."
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"- First time to Jamaica. - Oh, my God."
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"- Groove with me to- - Uh-uh."
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"Sorry for the smell. Long day slaving over the old embalming table."
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"- I- - No."
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"Well, let me just say that I've been embalming you with my eyes"
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"since the moment you Walked in."
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"[Thinking] I'm a born babysitter. Tina brings the fun."
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"- [Giggles] Mort! - [Chuckles]"
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"Now .. sparkle."
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"Hi, Gene. Would you like to play a game? Maybe sing a song?"
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"Waiter, do you have anything bigger?"
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"[Grunts]"
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"Come on, everybody!"
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"♪ Try our dessert ♪"
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"♪ You gotta have a cannoli ♪"
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"Ooh, cannolis!"
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"Let's move. Oh, how thoughtless of me."
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"Tina, I'm sure you want to go first, to protect us and stuff."
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"Yeah, Tina. Earn that sweet babysitter cash."
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"-[Louise] Mmm. - Come here, Gene."
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"- Mmm. You're a good boy. - [Grunts]"
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"Uh, weird."
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"Mmm."
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"All right. Let's Wrap this up."
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"Okay, I'm ready. I'll go first."
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"Like a lamb to the slaughter."
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"Oh, guys! I, uh, I forgot who sang “Funkytown."
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"- You're not going anywhere. - Aah!"
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"Keep Walking, Tina."
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"- It's locked. -[Rumbling]"
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"[Tina] Louise, no!"
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"[Screams]"
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"- What do you mean? - You're joking, right?[Scoffs]"
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"- Only that green mold turns bodies into the living dead. -[Groans]"
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"Silly us. It was only a phone."
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"Tina, you're a zombiephile. You should know this!"
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"I'm not a zombiephile. I have a complicated relationship with zombies."
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"'[Sighs] '[Sighs]"
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"- Hello? - Who is it?"
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"“Funkytown is by Lipps Incorporated. I just remembered."
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"Some stranger."
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"Well, here goes nothin'."
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"[Low-pitched] Have you checked the children?"
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"[Tina Groans]"
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"- Mom? -[Sighs] No. I'm a zombie."
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"- Oh. -[Regular] No, I’m-"
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"Every time they say something horrible, take a drink."
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"[Low-pitched] I am also a murderer!"
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"[All Scream]"
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"So, what's the Weirdest thing you've ever found in a human body?"
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"- ♪[Reggae] -[Laughing]"
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"- Here we go. - You first."
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"- You go, girl. You go, girl. - Yeah, mon."
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"- Lightbulb. -[Slurps]"
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"Hey, I gotcha! Come on. Dance with Mommy. Come on."
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"- A football. -[Slurps]"
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"You drunk enough to be any fun yet?"
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"Yeah, I guess."
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"But most of the time, What I find is lots and lots of-"
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"Bob, Linda."
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"Hugo, my man!"
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"Oh!"
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"[Indistinct]"
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"Aw, already finishing each ether's-"
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"Linda, I can't do it anymore."
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"- Come on. - No."
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"Oh, my God, no. Linda."
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"Whoa, doggie. You got me. [Chuckles]"
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"Tencences-"
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"- Not you, Hugo. - Fair enough."
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"- Sentences. -[Slurps]"
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"[Creaking]"
Bob's Burgers
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