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Clips from Bob's Burgers - Weekend at Mort's (S01E01)

"I just hope it's not that green mold."
Bob's Burgers
"- And we’re going to tear into that minibar! - We're gonna go on a bender."
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"- No, we’re not. - Yes, we are."
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"You see it in a lot of beach towns..."
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"I'm gonna drink some Baileys and unwind."
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"and filthy, disgusting, poorly managed restaurants."
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"Hey, guys. Stay with me."
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"Hey!"
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"No, I mean, I appreciate the offer, but I-"
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"I just got mold-certified. In a month, I'll be cleared for vermin too."
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"- So come on. Stay with me. - Aw."
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"Okay, Gene. If you eat this mold, I'll give you five-"
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"-[Munching] - Whoa."
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"- Thanks, Mort. - Yeah, yeah!"
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"Mmm! Gorgonzola."
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"Linda, seriously, you want to stay in a funeral home?"
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"So What do I gotta do? Use bleach on it or something?"
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"- Yes, yes, yes! - Why not? it'll be fun. ls it spooky?"
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"Ooh!"
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"[Gasps] it's not greasy either."
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"- Tina, touch. -[Groans]"
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"Come on! Go get your toothbrushes."
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"Yeah, yeah! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!"
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"[All] ♪ Weekend at Mort’s ♪"
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"I'm gonna drink some Baileys and unwind."
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"- I know. - What are we gonna do with ourselves?"
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"- ♪ Weekend at Mort’s ♪ -[Doorbell Rings]"
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"I know What I'm gonna do. First, I'm gonna take these off."
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"- Oh! - These bad boys."
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"Follow me to your rooms."
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"- Bobby. - Hmm?"
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"Urn. Another urn."
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"And I'm gonna get these on."
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"That's an award I won for best urn."
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"[Gasps] Oh, are those your, uh-"
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"Okay, kids. Don't climb on anything. Don't touch anything."
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"My lazy pants? Yes."
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"Well, I guess they come off easy."
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"and don't play with dead bodies."
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"Do you think he's gonna have skulls?"
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"Ah, uh-huh, uh-huh."
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"What do you think he eats soup out of?"
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"And let the vacation begin."
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"Do you think he's gonna have a drawer full of gum that he takes out of corpse pockets?"
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"'Cause if he does, I want some."
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"- It's my model. - Since when do you do models?"
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"It's a hobby of mine, Lin. From back when I could still have hobbies."
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"I just relax, turn my brain off and enjoy the thrill of the build."
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"[Linda] Hey, I'm not horrified at all. Aw."
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"- The bus from Speed? - Yeah, the bus from Speed"
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"[Chorus] ♪ Bus from Speed ♪"
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"- Kids, off the furniture. - Well, I get a lot of stuff cheap."
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"I never saw it. I don't like to see the movie until I finish the model."
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"Everything in here had someone die on it."
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"Kids, off the furniture!"
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"- Hmm. - Makes it more fun."
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"- Your room's right down the hall. - All right, kids. Let's go."
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"Wouldn't it be more fun if we did something together?"
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"You seriously want to watch my kids?"
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"-[Clicking] - ♪♪[Fragments]"
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"[Gasps] You could get a manzillian."
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"[Mort] Uhh."
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"That stuff is for people who are dating, Linda."
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"We-We do other couples stuff. We couples live together. And that's even better."
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"- You know what? I'm gonna go. - Okay, good."
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"This should be a vacation for you two."
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"- I mean, okay. - Yeah."
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"Oh, we can make it the honeymoon we never had."
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"Gonna be all by myself. On my honeymoon, I might add."
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"Sure. You know, I got the bed you're sleeping in because a man died in it..."
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"- Good God. - Mm-hmm."
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"Hey, look! Comes with a little Keanu."
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"It's a haunted honeymoon."
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"Hi, guy.[High-pitched] “Hi, Bob. Missed you, buddy.”"
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"Oh, for Pete's sakes, you big freak!"
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"[Ghostly Moaning]"
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"Bet you never knew washing out rubber tubing could be such a blast, huh, kids?"
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"Well, I had a feeling."
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"Who wants to help me glue a toupee on an old man's cadaver?"
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"[Groaning]"
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"Tina, what's bothering you? The wig or the cadaver?"
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"- The cadaver. - Wigs can be scary."
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"You know what? Why don't you kids go ahead and take five?"
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"Explore the morgue. But stay away from my computer."
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"- Not because of porn. - This computer?"
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"- Come on, now. - What's this?"
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"“A dating Web site for morticians."
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"Mort, you got a message!"
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"Yeah. Well, this lady and I have been messaging."
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"I sent her a wink. She sent me back a kissy face."
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"You need to take this relationship into the real world, Mort."
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"Yeah! Reality, Mort."
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"Nah, I'm not ready."
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"Wait till you're ready."
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"Fifty? I'm 35 years old."
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"- Huh? - If you believe my dating profile."
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"[All Laughing]"
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"- Yeah. And... send. -[Beeps]"
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"What? What'd you do?"
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"Wash your hairpiece, Mort. You're going on a date!"
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"Oh, Keanu."
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"[High-pitched] “Give me long sleeves."
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"Why? You look great in a"
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"“I don't know. Just switch it up.”"
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"Okay."
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"“No, no. Make me one of those tuxedo T-shirts."
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"That's stupid. I don't like those."
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"Ah, I see you're still playing with your dolls."
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"Mm-hmm."
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"I just got back from salsa boot camp."
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"I was the lonely little salsa-ita. All by myself."
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"“She's back."
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"Hey, just be cool."
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"What? What is it? What's wrong?"
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"Oh, nothing. This is just silly"
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"A date?"
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"It was the kids' idea."
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"at the elegant Jimmy Pesto’s."
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"What? I only know two restaurants."
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"And they have cloth napkins."
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