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Clips from Seinfeld - The Chronicle (S09E09)

"I'm out there, Jerry, and I'm loving every minute of it."
Seinfeld
"Ladies and gentlemen, it's our good friend, George Costanza."
Seinfeld
"What a surprise."
Seinfeld
"Kramer, he's just a dentist."
Seinfeld
"What kind of a person are you?"
Seinfeld
"No! No!"
Seinfeld
"Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about Dr. Whatley."
Seinfeld
"...purely for the jokes."
Seinfeld
"And this offends you as a Jewish person?"
Seinfeld
"No, it offends me as a comedian."
Seinfeld
"-...to TMI long distance service? -Oh, gee, I can't talk right now."
Seinfeld
"I guess you don't want people calling you at home."
Seinfeld
"Hey, buddy."
Seinfeld
"All night long, things are creaking and cracking."
Seinfeld
"And that red light is burning my brain."
Seinfeld
"-You look a little stressed. -Oh, I'm stressed."
Seinfeld
"Kill me now. I'm begging you."
Seinfeld
"Well, what, kind of like this?"
Seinfeld
"What-- What are you doing?"
Seinfeld
"Jerry!"
Seinfeld
"Elaine. What are you doing here?"
Seinfeld
"-25 percent. -25 percent?"
Seinfeld
"No way. It's, like, four to six percent."
Seinfeld
"It's a 20-to-1 shot."
Seinfeld
"Have you been to the motor vehicle bureau? It's a leper colony there."
Seinfeld
"Alcohol."
Seinfeld
"Love is a spice with many tastes."
Seinfeld
"A dizzying array of textures and moments."
Seinfeld
"-What? -Come on."
Seinfeld
"We have to have sex to save the friendship."
Seinfeld
"It was a pleasure doing business with you."
Seinfeld
"Eight dollars? Eight dollars?"
Seinfeld
"I wasted my whole morning on you for $8?"
Seinfeld
"-Bye, George. -Wait, you can't just leave me here."
Seinfeld
"You just tell him that you're my boyfriend..."
Seinfeld
"-Yeah, yeah. I'm your boyfriend. Yeah. -Okay."
Seinfeld
"Have we been intimate?"
Seinfeld
"All right, how often do we do it?"
Seinfeld
"Kramer, how is that important?"
Seinfeld
"Do you really think he's gonna ask that?"
Seinfeld
"Elaine, he's a psychiatrist. They're interested in stuff like that."
Seinfeld
"-Okay? -Oh, baby."
Seinfeld
"It's getting a little passionate and she starts with the dirty talking."
Seinfeld
"All right. All right. Hold on. Time out."
Seinfeld
"-What did she say? -Typical things."
Seinfeld
"What's typical? Give me typical. Give me some typical."
Seinfeld
"She says...."
Seinfeld
"It feels like aliens poking at my body."
Seinfeld
"I think I'm very spongeworthy."
Seinfeld
"Run down your case for me again."
Seinfeld
"We obviously have a good rapport."
Seinfeld
"Blood tests, immaculate."
Seinfeld
"-Do something about your sideburns? -Yeah, I told you. I'm gonna."
Seinfeld
"Fifty-fifty."
Seinfeld
"Because if you don't get that return..."
Seinfeld
"...that's a pretty big matzo ball hanging out there."
Seinfeld
"Well, I just gotta say it once."
Seinfeld
"Everybody else gets to say it. Why can't I say it?"
Seinfeld
"What, you've never said it?"
Seinfeld
"He licked himself and left the room."
Seinfeld
"...how is it you're not taken?"
Seinfeld
"...see, the thing is..."
Seinfeld
"...I'm sort of engaged."
Seinfeld
"-On many factors. -Like what?"
Seinfeld
"What's your phone call frequency?"
Seinfeld
"Semi-daily. Four or five times a week."
Seinfeld
"Implied."
Seinfeld
"She got anything in your medicine cabinet?"
Seinfeld
"Let me ask you this."
Seinfeld
"Is there any Tampax in your house?"
Seinfeld
"I mean, what are you thinking about, Jerry? Marriage? Family?"
Seinfeld
"-Well.... -They're prisons."
Seinfeld
"You get up in the morning, she's there."
Seinfeld
"It's like you gotta ask permission to-- To use the bathroom."
Seinfeld
"-Really? -Yeah."
Seinfeld
"You talk about your day."
Seinfeld
"How was your day today?"
Seinfeld
"Did you have a good day or a bad day?"
Seinfeld
"Well, what kind of day was it? Well, I don't know, how about you?"
Seinfeld
"-I'm glad we had this talk. -You have no idea."
Seinfeld
"Do I have to break up with her in person?"
Seinfeld
"Nothing."
Seinfeld
"You're acting weird. Is anything wrong?"
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"Are you breaking up with me?"
Seinfeld
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Seinfeld
"-Okay, fine. Break up with me. -All right. We're broken up."
Seinfeld
"Can we still be friends?"
Seinfeld
"Listen to this. Marcy comes over and she tells me..."
Seinfeld
"...that her ex-boyfriend was over late last night..."
Seinfeld
"...and, yada, yada, yada, I'm really tired today."
Seinfeld
"What do you think she was tired from?"
Seinfeld
"Well, obviously the yada, yada."
Seinfeld
"I've yada, yada'd sex."
Seinfeld
"I had the lobster bisque. We went back to my place."
Seinfeld
"Yada, yada, yada, I never heard from him again."
Seinfeld
"But you yada, yada'd over the best part."
Seinfeld
"...and she wanted me to speak to you."
Seinfeld
"So Allison and I think that the best thing to do is just..."
Seinfeld
"Can't we discuss this?"
Seinfeld
"We just don't think you're ready for a serious relationship."
Seinfeld
"...where I need something more than just..."
Seinfeld
"...a good time."
Seinfeld
"I missed out on the make-up sex."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, conjugal visit sex. That is happening."
Seinfeld
"Don't boss me. This is why you're going to hell."
Seinfeld
"And if you think I'm going to hell, you should care that I'm going to hell."
Seinfeld
"You stole my Jesus fish, didn't you?"
Seinfeld
"If she is allowed to infiltrate this world..."
Seinfeld
"You see, right now, I have relationship George."
Seinfeld
"But there is also independent George."
Seinfeld
"Movie George. Coffee shop George. Liar George. Bawdy George."
Seinfeld
"-I love that George. -Me too."
Seinfeld
"And he's dying, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"If relationship George walks through this door..."
Seinfeld
"A George divided against itself cannot stand!"
Seinfeld
"Except for the walking."
Seinfeld
"He's a male bimbo. He's a mimbo."
Seinfeld
"-She's one of these low talkers. -He's a high talker."
Seinfeld
"-Bit of a close talker. -She can't hear very well."
Seinfeld
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