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Clips from Fresh Off the Boat - No Thanks-giving (S03E03)

"buried underneath the rail road tracks"
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"through all the squash?"
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"I want to open Cattleman's Ranch for Thanksgiving."
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"And sleep in our own beds"
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"Oh, you still have to wash your sheets."
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"Eddie, where's your homework?"
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"Because..."
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"How'd your family take the news?"
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"It won't be hard to get someone."
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"You tell them, "Happy Thanksgiving."
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"Oh! Which was another amazing idea you had..."
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"_"
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"I never said that."
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"Let's pretend that grades are important"
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"Glad we agree, Mom."
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"working on holidays!"
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"Then a video game here, a gummy snack there."
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"so many rap CDs, so many sneakers."
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"That's so thoughtful of you boys."
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"We should put a cowboy on the sign lassoing his boys."
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"Something wrong, Eddie?"
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"you get your bed back."
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"I'll just sleep on some T-shirts."
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"Nice job, boys."
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"Hmm. Let's see how my owners- in-training would handle this."
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"Hey, Marvin and Honey. Make sure to buy a raffle ticket."
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"And what do you do now?"
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"I'm a rich dentist."
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"No. Louis!"
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"_"
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"_"
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"Pecan... your favorite."
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"I just saved your life."
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"why don't we just raffle off the whole restaurant?"
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"What's that?"
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"I heard two Phil Collins songs on the radio this morning"
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"Uh, and here's your prize now."
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"He wanted to invent underwear made out of bubble wrap..."
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"Oh, Louis, of course I don't think this place"
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"is good enough for them,"
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"_"
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"Then Eazy-E and Ruthless Records branched off"
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"Ohhh!"
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"Can anyone tell me what this is?"
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"_"
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"_"
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"Nope."
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"I know what it is, but I want you"
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"to say it first so I know you know."
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"- It's a squash. - Squash!"
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"I cook it every Thanksgiving, and no one eats it."
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"Why? Because it's disgusting."
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"Can anyone point out our ancestors in this painting?"
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"No, that's right, you can't... Because they're not there."
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"Eventually, they will be way back in this field,"
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"that they built with no food or water."
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"_"
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"And do you ever ask yourself, "Why?""
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"Why do we put ourselves through all this holiday nonsense,"
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"through all the headaches of visiting relatives,"
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"All for a day that we have no cultural ties to."
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"Why do we do it?"
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"Because that's what we do every year. It's tradition."
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"It's not our tradition."
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"We don't like it."
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"It's a lot of hard work, and we get nothing out of it."
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"You can't stop Thanksgiving. It's too strong."
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"That's like trying to stop Fabulous Barbara."
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"Roller derby."
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"Louis, I don't want to stop it."
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"I want to capitalize on it."
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"Really? I was kind of looking forward to a day off."
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"A day off spent searching for the leaf"
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"in the dining room table?"
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"I like a mystery."
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"Listening to my sister's husband play the ukulele?"
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"Steve does a great "Kokomo.""
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"Smiling through my mother's colorful remarks"
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"about her black mailman?"
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"What time should we open?"
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"Wait... So no family this year?"
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"We get to keep our rooms?"
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"instead of in the pantry, on rice bags?"
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"- That's right. - Yes! I don't have to wash my sheets!"
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"You don't get me."
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"_"
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"The bar at the restaurant has a TV."
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"_"
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"_"
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"We are working on Thanksgiving!"
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"S03E05 No Thanks-giving"
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"Okay, class, it's time to turn in your family tree assignments."
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"Um... I didn't do it."
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"You didn't do it?"
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"Why?"
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"Why?!"
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"Why?"
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"Why?"
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"Eddie! Are you ready for school?"
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"Never been more ready in my life."
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"My mom congratulated me on choosing work over her,"
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"and then Connie stole the moment"
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"by claiming her psychic predicted it all."
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"Well, I'll start calling the staff,"
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"see who I can ask to work on Thursday."
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"Ask? You don't ask. You tell."
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"Holiday pay is time and a half."
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"See you on Friday at regular pay.""
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"But we'll need extra help."
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"That's why we have children."
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"We'll do a buffet."
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"We'll prep all the food in the morning."
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"A couple servers is the only staff we need."
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"_"
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"_"
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"Well, it looks like all we have left to do is the centerpieces."
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"And pick up the raffle prize."
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"Raffling off a fresh turkey."
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"Thanksgiving is built on gamblers and hungry people."
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"This excites both."
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