Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Seinfeld - The Good Samaritan (S03E03)

"- Get together? - Maybe she just wants to talk to me."
Seinfeld
"Married women don't get together."
Seinfeld
"They have affairs."
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God, an affair."
Seinfeld
"It's like with stockings and martinis and William Holden and..."
Seinfeld
"On the other hand, it probably wouldn't cost me any money."
Seinfeld
"Are you actually considering this?"
Seinfeld
"I can't have an affair with a married woman. That's despicable!"
Seinfeld
"It's like hitting a car and driving away without leaving a note."
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Hey, you know who owns that car?"
Seinfeld
"- What car? - The one that was hit the other night."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, who? - That blond across the street."
Seinfeld
"The blond with the blue sweatpants."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, I think I've seen her."
Seinfeld
"Well, I gotta get going."
Seinfeld
"I'm meeting a guy with grey sweatpants."
Seinfeld
"Wait, wait, wait. How do you know it's not John Tesh?"
Seinfeld
"- The blond with the blue sweatpants! - Who is she?"
Seinfeld
"I had a crush on her for a year! I've been afraid to approach her."
Seinfeld
"She belongs on one of these Hallmark cards."
Seinfeld
"Oh, right! Right! The blue sweatpants!"
Seinfeld
"It's too bad you can't say anything because of Angela."
Seinfeld
"Too bad."
Seinfeld
"Angela."
Seinfeld
"Lousy thug."
Seinfeld
"What kind of sick person does something like that?"
Seinfeld
"I mean, I actually owe it to society to do something about this!"
Seinfeld
"I can't sit by and allow this to go on!"
Seinfeld
"- It's a moral issue, is what it is. - Can't compromise your principles."
Seinfeld
"- How can I live? - Can't live."
Seinfeld
"I'm not religious, but I know where to draw the line."
Seinfeld
"This country needs more people like you."
Seinfeld
"Don't sell yourself short, saying, God bless you..."
Seinfeld
"...to every Tom, Dick and Harry, at great personal risk."
Seinfeld
"- I believe strongly in that. You know. - There should be more people like us."
Seinfeld
"That's why the world's in the shape that it's in."
Seinfeld
"You're telling me."
Seinfeld
"...to make sure the party responsible is made responsible..."
Seinfeld
"...or something very close to that."
Seinfeld
"Well, God bless you."
Seinfeld
"Thank you very much."
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God. I must be crazy. What have I done?"
Seinfeld
"- Oh, no. What's wrong? - What's wrong?"
Seinfeld
"I'll tell you what's wrong. I just committed adultery."
Seinfeld
"You didn't commit adultery. I did."
Seinfeld
"Well, I wouldn't want you to do that. There's a lot of losers out there."
Seinfeld
"Maybe even someone who didn't say, God bless you."
Seinfeld
"Well, that's a given."
Seinfeld
"In three years with Michael, not one God bless you."
Seinfeld
"Must be hell living in that house."
Seinfeld
"- Hi, it's Michael. - Hi, Michael."
Seinfeld
"She said she was gonna be with you."
Seinfeld
"No, I haven't spoken to her all da-"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, right."
Seinfeld
"As a- As a matter of fact..."
Seinfeld
"She-She was here and she- She left a note..."
Seinfeld
"If she's not with you, where is she?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I-I don't know."
Seinfeld
"Is she with your bald friend from the other night?"
Seinfeld
"No. No."
Seinfeld
"Come on, Michael."
Seinfeld
"He's finished. I'm gonna sew his ass to his face!"
Seinfeld
"I'm gonna twist his neck so hard his lips will be his eyebrows!"
Seinfeld
"I'm gonna break his joints and reattach them!"
Seinfeld
"You're so good-looking."
Seinfeld
"Now, you listen to me, suck-face!"
Seinfeld
"You tell anybody anything..."
Seinfeld
"...and I will carve my initials in your brain tissue."
Seinfeld
"- Let me rephrase- - I'll bash your skull in..."
Seinfeld
"...like a bad cabbage, and I'll have a party on your head!"
Seinfeld
"- Elaine. This is Angela. - I'll pluck your body hairs out..."
Seinfeld
"Well, I think I get the gist of it."
Seinfeld
"So you don't say anything to anybody..."
Seinfeld
"...about me hitting that car."
Seinfeld
"Good."
Seinfeld
"- I'm glad we understand each other. - It's not complicated."
Seinfeld
"Very nice meeting you."
Seinfeld
"Come on up."
Seinfeld
"Well, well, Mr. Seinfeld..."
Seinfeld
"...that must have been so frightening..."
Seinfeld
"...when you confronted that guy in Queens."
Seinfeld
"- All right, Elaine. - No, no, no..."
Seinfeld
"...because I'm picturing... What? What?"
Seinfeld
"French Connection kind of thing."
Seinfeld
"You know, sort of a Popeye Doyle chase through the city."
Seinfeld
"- Hey. - Oh."
Seinfeld
"Did you check your machine?"
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, okay. - And I said I hadn't seen her."
Seinfeld
"- What? - No, George, you don't understand."
Seinfeld
"She didn't tell me she was using me as an excuse."
Seinfeld
"Okay? But then I realized what was going on..."
Seinfeld
"But he didn't really buy that."
Seinfeld
"And then- And then he did mention your name."
Seinfeld
"He mentioned my name? What did he say?"
Seinfeld
"He said he was gonna..."
Seinfeld
"...sew your ass to your face."
Seinfeld
"What?"
Seinfeld
"- Why couldn't you think of something? - I don't know! He caught me off guard!"
Seinfeld
"Well, who told you to sleep with her, George?"
Seinfeld
"Not my fault. I wasn't gonna do anything..."
Seinfeld
"...until you got her juiced up with your story about the affair with the matador!"
Seinfeld
"None of this would have happened if you hadn't said, God bless you!"
Seinfeld
"- Matador? - Oh, God."
Seinfeld
"She told them she had an affair with a matador."
Seinfeld
"A matador."
Seinfeld
"Well, well."
Seinfeld
"Eduardo Caroccio."
Seinfeld
"Eduardo..."
Seinfeld
"...Caroccio."
Seinfeld
"That's good. That's very good. Kind of just rolls off the tongue."
Seinfeld
"Where on the Upper West Side might a single girl meet a matador?"
Seinfeld
"- Perhaps, Zabar's. - No."
Seinfeld
"This person told me to tell you to get an estimate on the damage."
Seinfeld
"I already got an estimate. It's $875."
Seinfeld
"$875?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I'll tell you what."
Seinfeld
"Who do I make it out to?"
Seinfeld
"Becky Gelke. G-E-L-K-E."
Seinfeld
"You smash up my car, you don't admit it..."
Seinfeld
Show more clips