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Clips from Community - Spanish 101 (S01E01)

astrology should be astronomy,

"astrology should be astronomy,"

Community

but I suppose that's a matter of opinion.

"but I suppose that's a matter of opinion."

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Report to security to claim your tickets.

"Report to security to claim your tickets."

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In order to increase awareness of homelessness,

"In order to increase awareness of homelessness,"

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In campus news,

"In campus news,"

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with some students suggesting its volume be lowered,

"with some students suggesting its volume be lowered,"

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it makes every ten minutes feel like the beginning of a new scene of a tv show.

"it makes every ten minutes feel like the beginning of a new scene of a tv show."

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Illusion only lasts until someone says something they'd never say on tv

"Illusion only lasts until someone says something they'd never say on tv"

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What a shame. We should get started...

"What a shame. We should get started..."

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In any case, if you want me to have a chat with Jeff, I'd be happy to do it.

"In any case, if you want me to have a chat with Jeff, I'd be happy to do it."

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Meanwhile, in Guatemala, journalists are being killed by their own government.

"Meanwhile, in Guatemala, journalists are being killed by their own government."

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You jumped a column. What's happening there?

"You jumped a column. What's happening there?"

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- You smell nice. Vitamin P. - Morning, Jeffrey.

"- You smell nice. Vitamin P. - Morning, Jeffrey."

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Were you waiting?

"Were you waiting?"

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What's a guy got to do to get a C around here?

"What's a guy got to do to get a C around here?"

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but if you think of grandsons as a metaphor for friendship,

"but if you think of grandsons as a metaphor for friendship,"

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You're harmless enough to me cause a life full of ups and downs

"You're harmless enough to me cause a life full of ups and downs"

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- Exploit them? They're my friends. - You want me to bring your car around?

"- Exploit them? They're my friends. - You want me to bring your car around?"

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I don't want you to bring my car around.

"I don't want you to bring my car around."

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I'll bring yours around, good guy. You get going, all right.

"I'll bring yours around, good guy. You get going, all right."

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but selfish and narcissistic to the point of near delusion.

"but selfish and narcissistic to the point of near delusion."

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It starts to creep them out.

"It starts to creep them out."

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Why don't we go get a beer? I'll give you some advice,

"Why don't we go get a beer? I'll give you some advice,"

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and we can have what the kids calls a sausage fest.

"and we can have what the kids calls a sausage fest."

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- Will you tell us more about Guatemala? - I never went to a real college.

"- Will you tell us more about Guatemala? - I never went to a real college."

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But we need your help.

"But we need your help."

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- You'd rather keep it real than be likeable. - Can you at least tell us what to google?

"- You'd rather keep it real than be likeable. - Can you at least tell us what to google?"

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He wrote an article critical of the government, and they killed him.

"He wrote an article critical of the government, and they killed him."

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- like lesbians have on the news. - I could make brownies.

"- like lesbians have on the news. - I could make brownies."

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Every once in a while, a student come up to me and ask,

"Every once in a while, a student come up to me and ask,"

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Spanish?"

"Spanish?""

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that's ancient and secret

"that's ancient and secret"

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Now, I don't want to have any conversations

"Now, I don't want to have any conversations"

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In español, my nickname is

"In español, my nickname is"

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you'll find a card with either a picture or a word on it.

"you'll find a card with either a picture or a word on it."

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has a card with a picture of a house on it.

"has a card with a picture of a house on it."

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You want to trade cards?

"You want to trade cards?"

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I've had my eye on it since registration first day.

"I've had my eye on it since registration first day."

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Are you sure you didn't adjust the odds?

"Are you sure you didn't adjust the odds?"

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I think that's something we should discuss with our partners.

"I think that's something we should discuss with our partners."

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Apparently my sperm shoot through the egg like bullets.

"Apparently my sperm shoot through the egg like bullets."

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- Can you believe that? - I can't.

"- Can you believe that? - I can't."

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But you can, so that's fine.

"But you can, so that's fine."

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The assignment is

"The assignment is"

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to write a Spanish conversation using those five phrases.

"to write a Spanish conversation using those five phrases."

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What?

"What?"

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Got ya.

"Got ya."

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Let's have one drink before we work.

"Let's have one drink before we work."

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To the "empowerage" of words.

"To the "empowerage" of words."

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She's ugly.

"She's ugly."

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This is the first time people'll see Winger and Hawthorne together.

"This is the first time people'll see Winger and Hawthorne together."

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Better yet, before we do that, let's ask ourselves...

"Better yet, before we do that, let's ask ourselves..."

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OK...

"OK..."

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We put tape over our mouths,

"We put tape over our mouths,"

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What I meant to say

"What I meant to say"

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Are you saying that we're not allowed to protest?

"Are you saying that we're not allowed to protest?"

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- You sound like Guatemala. - Somebody has a case of

"- You sound like Guatemala. - Somebody has a case of"

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"likes to use French politics to make themselves special,

""likes to use French politics to make themselves special,"

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"but doesn't actually ever want to do anything-itis."

""but doesn't actually ever want to do anything-itis.""

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You hang the Chacata-Panecos piñata.

"You hang the Chacata-Panecos piñata."

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You guys realize he was beaten to death, right?

"You guys realize he was beaten to death, right?"

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That's where we got the idea from.

"That's where we got the idea from."

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Poignant.

"Poignant."

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Which reminds me, the only thing not included in this

"Which reminds me, the only thing not included in this"

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- We head to the demonstration. - Hippies?

"- We head to the demonstration. - Hippies?"

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Right.

"Right."

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I tell you what we're gonna do.

"I tell you what we're gonna do."

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This is my definition of you trying way too hard,

"This is my definition of you trying way too hard,"

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Now this was a fine enough way to spend an evening devoid of hope,

"Now this was a fine enough way to spend an evening devoid of hope,"

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I like what you've done with the place.

"I like what you've done with the place."

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I'm not perfect.

"I'm not perfect."

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I am. I'd be happy to show you the ropes.

"I am. I'd be happy to show you the ropes."

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Why are you wearing tape over their mouth?

"Why are you wearing tape over their mouth?"

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It's a protest.

"It's a protest."

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Conflicts like these will ultimately bring us together as an unlikely family.

"Conflicts like these will ultimately bring us together as an unlikely family."

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you want me to do your homework,

"you want me to do your homework,"

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You know about the ethnic cleansing in Burma?

"You know about the ethnic cleansing in Burma?"

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I get it. Garfield's wishing me a happy Arbor Day,

"I get it. Garfield's wishing me a happy Arbor Day,"

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- you'd like a fresh start. - Nice try.

"- you'd like a fresh start. - Nice try."

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I sang Christmas carols at a nursing home once.

"I sang Christmas carols at a nursing home once."

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He offered me $100 to switch cards with him

"He offered me $100 to switch cards with him"

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just so he could be partners with Jeff.

"just so he could be partners with Jeff."

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He thought getting closer to Jeff would bring him respect in the group.

"He thought getting closer to Jeff would bring him respect in the group."

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and he would trade it all for a shot at some kind of family.

"and he would trade it all for a shot at some kind of family."

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First up was supposed to be Jeff and Pierce,

"First up was supposed to be Jeff and Pierce,"

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Jeff, having heard Pierce's side of the story,

"Jeff, having heard Pierce's side of the story,"

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and let him do his presentation alone, if that sounds fair to you.

"and let him do his presentation alone, if that sounds fair to you."

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That doesn't sound fair to me at all.

"That doesn't sound fair to me at all."

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and it deserves to be done right.

"and it deserves to be done right."

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- they're not supposed to take... - Your breath away?

"- they're not supposed to take... - Your breath away?"

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Well, tough.

"Well, tough."

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"F."

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Did you say S?

"Did you say S?"

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So.

"So."

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ever again.

"ever again."

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You got this thing you do with your face when you're trying to be funny

"You got this thing you do with your face when you're trying to be funny"

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My name is T-Bone the disco spider.

"My name is T-Bone the disco spider."

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is in big mustache, dog, lard.

"is in big mustache, dog, lard."

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the goat's mustache is Cameron Diaz.

"the goat's mustache is Cameron Diaz."

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It's 2009.

"It's 2009."

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Word.

"Word."

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Good afternoon, Greendale community college.

"Good afternoon, Greendale community college."

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I am your dean with a few corrections to the fall class catalog.

"I am your dean with a few corrections to the fall class catalog."

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and the students on the cover should be smiling,

"and the students on the cover should be smiling,"

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Whoever is growing a small patch of cannabis behind the gymnasium,

"Whoever is growing a small patch of cannabis behind the gymnasium,"

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security has been given binoculars.

"security has been given binoculars."

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the debate over our library's PA system continues

"the debate over our library's PA system continues"

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while others question its very purpose.

"while others question its very purpose."

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More on that story as it unfolds.

"More on that story as it unfolds."

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- He makes a lot of announcements. - I like it,

"- He makes a lot of announcements. - I like it,"

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like how much their life is like tv. There, it's gone.

"like how much their life is like tv. There, it's gone."

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I guess Jeff's running late again.

"I guess Jeff's running late again."

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We should wait for Jeff before we start studying.

"We should wait for Jeff before we start studying."

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But maybe when Jeff gets here,

"But maybe when Jeff gets here,"

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we could talk to him as a group about his tardiness.

"we could talk to him as a group about his tardiness."

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Hope your mom didn't make you take baths together 'cause one of you would've been 30.

"Hope your mom didn't make you take baths together 'cause one of you would've been 30."

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That's funny.

"That's funny."

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Jeff probably comes late not to sit through your tardiness.

"Jeff probably comes late not to sit through your tardiness."

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Will you have some self respect?

"Will you have some self respect?"

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You're obsessing over someone who does not give you a second thought.

"You're obsessing over someone who does not give you a second thought."

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