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Clips from King of the Hill - King of the Ant Hill (S01E01)

"Wingo, man! I'll get my stuff."
King of the Hill
"Good for you for choosing your friend over your lawn."
King of the Hill
"DALE: All right!"
King of the Hill
"Turn your cuffs down, boys. And make sure you're zipped."
King of the Hill
"You know what, Dale?"
King of the Hill
"But I was gonna spray for fire ants today."
King of the Hill
"All the same, I'll give it a pass."
King of the Hill
"DALE: I wouldn't advise that. You risk getting a queen."
King of the Hill
"She can lay a million eggs in a 24-hour period."
King of the Hill
"These fire ants are well-organized, highly-trained insects."
King of the Hill
"They'll swarm all over you and sting you all at once..."
King of the Hill
"without warning, on a single command."
King of the Hill
"It's how they killed L. Ron Hubbard."
King of the Hill
"What are you guys listening to Hank for?"
King of the Hill
"I have dedicated my professional career to the study and control of arthropods."
King of the Hill
"I've personally taste-tested each and every household insecticide."
King of the Hill
"I have read a book."
King of the Hill
"Now, who do you believe, me or Hank?"
King of the Hill
"Fine. Side with him."
King of the Hill
"Dale, I don't want you to spray my lawn anymore."
King of the Hill
"You got another exterminator."
King of the Hill
"Is he licensed? Is he bonded? Is that it?"
King of the Hill
"Dale, let's not make this any harder than it has to be."
King of the Hill
"Let me just spray a little to keep up appearances."
King of the Hill
"[Clears throat]"
King of the Hill
"All done, Hank."
King of the Hill
"Just keep the dog in the house for an hour."
King of the Hill
"Sure, he's a friend. But I have lots of friends."
King of the Hill
"I only have the one lawn."
King of the Hill
"I thought we just came for seed and fertilizer."
King of the Hill
"Why are men so attracted to hoes?"
King of the Hill
"HANK: Peggy, look!"
King of the Hill
"To hell with fertilizer and seed. I want this!"
King of the Hill
"It's $1.25 a square foot."
King of the Hill
"So what? It's worth it."
King of the Hill
""Here lives a competent, trustworthy salesman of propane..."
King of the Hill
"A man who can't keep up a lawn is either inept or stupid."
King of the Hill
"Without my lawn, I am Bill."
King of the Hill
"Do you want to be married to Bill?"
King of the Hill
"Well, mister, you have just installed the finest lawn on the block."
King of the Hill
"It looks so nice. Can I touch it?"
King of the Hill
"[Childish giggling]"
King of the Hill
"It feels so good against my skin."
King of the Hill
"[Laughing]"
King of the Hill
"Okay, that's enough."
King of the Hill
"- May I? - Just a little."
King of the Hill
"Feels like a shag carpet with dirt."
King of the Hill
"Feels like home."
King of the Hill
"KAHN: Hey! Get off my property!"
King of the Hill
"Luanne! For God's sakes!"
King of the Hill
"[Sinister instrumental music]"
King of the Hill
"[Dale chuckling]"
King of the Hill
"Ouch!"
King of the Hill
"Boy, it does feel good against the skin."
King of the Hill
"Hey, Kahn. Just letting my feet air out here."
King of the Hill
"KAHN: Hillbilly barefoot. Big surprise!"
King of the Hill
"super-plush, new lawn."
King of the Hill
"I notice. Raleigh St. Augustine. Very expensive."
King of the Hill
"I think it was worth it for the best lawn in Arlen."
King of the Hill
"Yes, all right. You win. Best lawn."
King of the Hill
"Tomorrow, maybe we compare salaries."
King of the Hill
"Don't want to get a hose imprint."
King of the Hill
"[Moaning]"
King of the Hill
"So that's what that is."
King of the Hill
"How did I get fire ants?"
King of the Hill
"DALE: I'm only a professional exterminator."
King of the Hill
"I don't know how you get them. I only know how you get rid of them."
King of the Hill
"Got to go."
King of the Hill
"It's called Eco-Kill, Hank."
King of the Hill
"The government would not let them use the word "eco"..."
King of the Hill
"it's gonna take more than a bag of flies..."
King of the Hill
"No. They do more than scare them."
King of the Hill
""The Ford fly injects its egg into the fire ant's head."
King of the Hill
""until the head falls off. Repeat as necessary.""
King of the Hill
"I like it."
King of the Hill
"This is exactly what those environmentalists..."
King of the Hill
"should be spending their time on."
King of the Hill
"Finding ways to use nature..."
King of the Hill
"that are inconvenient to man."
King of the Hill
"Wow, look how busy this ant is."
King of the Hill
"and so many things to do."
King of the Hill
"JOSEPH: Your parents got Eco-Kill. Cool!"
King of the Hill
"We can collect the empty ant heads when they're done."
King of the Hill
"What a terrible way to die."
King of the Hill
"Oops."
King of the Hill
"Come on! If we save them, we can play with them."
King of the Hill
"BOBBY: Hey, look at that chubby white one."
King of the Hill
"He reminds me of me, before my growth spurt."
King of the Hill
"- You mean Dale Gribble's truck? - Yeah, my dad!"
King of the Hill
"She lets out smells that make the other ants do whatever she wants."
King of the Hill
"Wow!"
King of the Hill
"Looks like those fire ants played you like the damn fiddle."
King of the Hill
"Yeah? Well, the opry ain't over yet."
King of the Hill
"Okay, ants, put your heads between your six legs..."
King of the Hill
"and kiss your butt goodbye."
King of the Hill
""Celebration of local graffiti artists"?"
King of the Hill
""Local man cancels newspaper subscription.""
King of the Hill
"[Kahn laughing]"
King of the Hill
"You've got ants."
King of the Hill
"[Rock music playing on radio]"
King of the Hill
"Yes, my queen."
King of the Hill
"[Soft-rock music playing]"
King of the Hill
"Bill, you don't want to be mixing and matching your petrochemical."
King of the Hill
"The Propane Association recommends that you..."
King of the Hill
"No, no! I'm telling you, that's dangerous."
King of the Hill
"Propane is what I know best."
King of the Hill
"It sure ain't lawns."
King of the Hill
"BOOMHAUER: Yeah, man, dang sure right about that."
King of the Hill
"Hey, guys, I've kind of got to talk to Dale alone."
King of the Hill
"I was just telling the guys about Stonehenge."
King of the Hill
"You can save my lawn. Those fire ants are out of control."
King of the Hill
"You're the only one who can help me."
King of the Hill
"Well, I'll give you $2."
King of the Hill
"[Laughs]"
King of the Hill
"Because you're my friend."
King of the Hill
"I'm Hank's friend! Tie a ribbon around me."
King of the Hill
"Because I'm coming to you, man to man..."
King of the Hill
"Jeez, Hank, I was just holding out for $2.50."
King of the Hill
"What's that? What are you spraying? There won't be bleaching, will there?"
King of the Hill
"Hell, no."
King of the Hill
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