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Clips from The Simpsons - My Sister, My Sitter (S08E08)

"But first- move over, Baltimore."
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"with the opening of the South Street Squidport..."
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"Geez! Lighten up, Lisa."
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"- ## [Organ] - [Reverend Lovejoy] That concludes our service."
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"They must've kneeled in the wrong place and prayed to the wrong god..."
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"Oh, not Patty and Selma!"
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"Oh, I love this pedestrian mall. There's practically no traffic."
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"- [Horn Honking] - [Gasping]"
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"It's gonna be $225, plus tip."
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"- Hey, hey! Are you ready to get rowdy? - Excuse me?"
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"Bart!"
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"Oh, my God!"
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"Oh. [Nervous Chuckle] I'll come back."
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"Yeah, I think so. It's just a bump on my head."
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"[Gasps] Eww! Your arm! It's got extra corners!"
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"It must be dislocated or something."
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"[Gasping] Did you see that, Marge?"
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"Oh, my God! You walked into the fountain!"
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"[Whimpering]"
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"Bart, if you come out, I'll let you eat raw cookie dough."
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"No! As your babysitter, I order you to stop hitting your head on the wall!"
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"Well, near as we can tell, the boy was studying quietly..."
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"beat him silly with a block of frozen lima beans."
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"[Slurping]"
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"[Grunts] Hold on, Bart."
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"Um, I'm fine. Now, Lisa, when you're walking down the side of the road..."
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"[Tires Screech]"
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"[Gasps, Loud Groaning]"
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"[Whimpering]"
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"Citizens of Springfield..."
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"She's murdered her brother!"
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"-"
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"## [Chorus Singing]"
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"[Tires Screeching]"
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"D'oh! [Screams]"
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"[Screams]"
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"## [Upbeat]"
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"Tonight on Eye on Springfield..."
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"opening day at the world's first two-story outhouse."
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"[Man] Oh, God! Stop!"
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"A comedy nurse who's laughing all the way to the blood bank."
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"Okay. How many of you are here for shoulder surgery, huh?"
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"- [All Groaning] - Got ya!"
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"Springfield has stolen your idea."
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"I'm walking on the waterfront, once the center of a thriving squid-gutting industry..."
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"now abandoned by all but a few longshoremen and allied tradespeople."
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"But the decades of rot will end..."
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"an upscale shopping promenade..."
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"with authentic maritime theming."
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"And to kick it all off in style..."
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"area merchants will host a black-tie gala Saturday night."
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"Ooh, that sounds fabulous, Homer!"
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"- Stores throw the best parties. - You like parties, huh?"
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"Well, I just remembered they're having a big one down at the waterfront this weekend."
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"You didn't remember that. You just saw it on TV."
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"The important thing is I didn't imagine it."
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"I can't get enough of The Babysitter Twins."
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"They arrested the counterfeiters, rescued the president..."
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"and made four dollars!"
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"I love everything about the world of babysitting-"
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"the responsibility, the obligation, the pressure."
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"And full refrigerator privileges!"
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"All right. I have two announcements."
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"Friday you will have the chance to "party down" in the church basement..."
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"to theJesus-rock stylings ofTestament."
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"That's Friday, 6:00 p.m. sharp."
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"[Snorts] All the best bands are affiliated with Satan."
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"Also, anyone in need of a reliable and affordable babysitter..."
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"should call Lisa Simpson."
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"Mention the topic of today's sermon to get a dollar off."
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"[Man Coughing]"
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"[Clears Throat] The topic was love."
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"Why hasn't anyone called?"
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"Maybe people don't want an eight-year-old babysitter, honey."
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"Parents need to be sure their sitter can handle anything that might happen."
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"That's why they hire teenagers."
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"But- But I'm very mature for my age."
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"- People often mistake me for nine. - [Doorbell Rings]"
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"Homer, I've got a Fozzie of a bear of a problem."
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"Maude and her mother were visiting Tyre and Sidon..."
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"the twin cities of the Holy Land."
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"because, well, they're being held prisoner by militants of some sort."
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"Militants, huh? Well, if I were you, I'd kick their asses."
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"Well, anyhoo-dilly-doodle, the embassy says it's just a routine hostage-taking..."
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"Could you possibly watch the kids tonight?"
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"Oh, gee, I'd really love to want to help you, Flanders..."
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"but, uh, Marge was taken prisoner..."
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"in the... Holy Land, and-"
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"I'll do it! I'll babysit!"
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"Oh, I don't know, Lisa. You're awfully young, and the boys can be a handful."
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"But I'm smart and responsible, and my parents will be right next door."
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"Well, what do you say, Homer?"
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"- Can Lisa babysit for my kids? - Please, please, please!"
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"Uh, I'll have to ask her."
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"- Where are the dice? - Daddy says dice are wicked."
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"[Both] Moth! Moth! Moth! Moth! Moth! Moth!"
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"Don't worry. A moth is no more harmful than a ladybug."
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"A ladybug? [Screaming]"
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"[Groans] They're gonna get eaten alive in middle school."
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"And thank you for sending Lisa to protect us from the bug you sent."
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"And please make Lisa tell us a bedtime story..."
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"about robots named Rod and Todd."
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"Amen."
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"- Once there was a robot named Todd- - Did he have a brother?"
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"Yes, he had a brother robot named Rod, who was two space years older than him."
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"I don't like this story!"
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"Sleeping quietly after a bug attack."
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"And Todd's as dry as a bone!"
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"Lisa, you're a wonder. I'm gonna recommend you to everybody!"
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"So long, Lisa! If anything goes wrong, just dial 911 -"
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"unless it's an emergency."
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"[Lisa] Okay, Chief! Enjoy Bob Saget!"
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"[Chuckles] It's Bob Seger."
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"Aw, crap!"
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"Now, put your left leg into the left side of the pants, and you're done."
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"I dress myself."
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"Hey, Dad. How come you're wearing a tuxedo?"
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"Going to that fancy waterfront party tomorrow."
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"- Why are you wearing it now? - It's like a rent-a-car, Son."
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"You get all the mileage you can..."
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