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Clips from Scrubs - My Absence (S08E08)

"I'd like to begin this morning's rounds with a joke. Denise."
Scrubs
"Thanks. I thought of it this morning while I was watching you"
Scrubs
"try to jam a catheter into Mr. Hazleton."
Scrubs
"Yeah. He was a screamer."
Scrubs
"His organs are starting to fail"
Scrubs
"The most important thing to remember during his final hours here on Earth is,"
Scrubs
"Sour cream, chives, and, if I haven't had any protein that day,"
Scrubs
"See, this dress only works without a bra,"
Scrubs
"Peggy's got a touch of pneumonia, but she's gonna pull through."
Scrubs
"- That sucks. - It totally sucks."
Scrubs
"Luckily, Cheeseburger Day at the caf really brings out the fatties."
Scrubs
"Oh, it's like somebody threw a boulder in a pond."
Scrubs
"and see what ambles out of the forest."
Scrubs
"Hey, Miguel, this is the girlfriend and she is real. In your face."
Scrubs
"Baby. Baby. Baby."
Scrubs
"and check it, the blood splashed on my scrubs,"
Scrubs
"I might have used chocolate pudding to do the tail."
Scrubs
"That's awesome, Turk, but I have to tell you something."
Scrubs
"It's too soon, so don't tell anyone."
Scrubs
"J. D! Where are you, friend?"
Scrubs
"he's not coming in tomorrow. Which, by the way, is my day off."
Scrubs
"But not anymore."
Scrubs
"to spend the day bonding with my family"
Scrubs
"without the possibility of running into that bearded hug-monster"
Scrubs
"I can't believe you."
Scrubs
"Well, I wasn't. Because when I say something is between us as a couple,"
Scrubs
"I gotta go. Congratulations."
Scrubs
"Yay! Yay! Yay!"
Scrubs
"I'm no Superman"
Scrubs
"You told Elliot and got that huge, excited reaction."
Scrubs
"I deserve to get that from someone, too."
Scrubs
"J.D.: Anyway, tell Turk that's great news about his baby."
Scrubs
"J.D.: Elliot, why would you put me on speaker without telling me?"
Scrubs
"I don't want to talk to you, J.D."
Scrubs
"- J.D.: Turk! - Not here."
Scrubs
"J.D.: Elliot. Is Turk still there?"
Scrubs
"- It's getting a little boring. - Dude."
Scrubs
"and my feelings are very, very hurt."
Scrubs
"- Noted. - Apology accepted."
Scrubs
"See, the thing is, his sister just called from London,"
Scrubs
"alive until she got here. Can you please help?"
Scrubs
"Let me see his chart."
Scrubs
"There's your gal. She cares."
Scrubs
"And, when you're done, send her sputum for atypicals."
Scrubs
"Plus, I have forgotten more about medicine"
Scrubs
"Hey, Teddy."
Scrubs
"- Oh, great. - What were you doing?"
Scrubs
"What the hell is the matter with you people?"
Scrubs
"It's not that big a deal."
Scrubs
"When we had ours, we barely told anybody."
Scrubs
"Little girl. You held her in your arms."
Scrubs
"Mazel tov to you both."
Scrubs
"Can't a brother get at least a mazel tov?"
Scrubs
"Plus, with all the cycling,"
Scrubs
"Mine don't have any tails."
Scrubs
"Oh, hey, everybody, I'll tell you someone who just did have their first baby."
Scrubs
"- Come on! - I love Witman."
Scrubs
"No. Witman's not even here."
Scrubs
"until his sister gets here."
Scrubs
"- It might be fun. - Hmm."
Scrubs
"Anyway, Dr. Cox said that you were the one I should ask."
Scrubs
"Hi."
Scrubs
"Oh."
Scrubs
"You eating lunch?"
Scrubs
"Oh, God, here it comes."
Scrubs
"I mean, it's not as bad, but it's pretty bad."
Scrubs
"It just sucks, you know?"
Scrubs
"Wow. She's too cute for you, Ted."
Scrubs
"Is this your first?"
Scrubs
"That's what I was looking for! Wow."
Scrubs
"I want to know everything. Do you want to talk about it?"
Scrubs
"Good night, Dr. Cox."
Scrubs
"But that's okay, I know I haven't been a doctor long,"
Scrubs
"Oh."
Scrubs
"Oh, good. You're gone, too."
Scrubs
"Peggy was a sweet old bird."
Scrubs
"I mean, your soul mate's gone, and your body just gives up."
Scrubs
"I actually think it's kind of sweet."
Scrubs
"I don't know, if I ever get married"
Scrubs
"and my husband dies before me..."
Scrubs
"Well, that's just some quality crap you're spewing there."
Scrubs
"because you're busy looking at your telephone"
Scrubs
"You're no different from Peggy."
Scrubs
"What are you saying? That if J.D. Died, I would just die right afterwards?"
Scrubs
"What are you doing here?"
Scrubs
"Well, I think the better question is what are you doing here?"
Scrubs
"Why aren't you at the hospital helping Sunny?"
Scrubs
"I mean, give me a break, Carla."
Scrubs
"And secondly, that's something I would say, not you."
Scrubs
"The needle slipped and I accidentally stabbed myself with it."
Scrubs
"which actually made the whole night more enjoyable."
Scrubs
"- Saved thirty bucks. - Cool."
Scrubs
"whatever the hell that means."
Scrubs
"- Yeah. - Okay."
Scrubs
"'Cause you're going to be a first-time dad"
Scrubs
"Then you went and did it"
Scrubs
"Hey, Carla, were you one of those people"
Scrubs
"What is your problem?"
Scrubs
"My husband's telling everybody that I'm pregnant with our first child."
Scrubs
"Stop."
Scrubs
"I can't believe I did that."
Scrubs
"Although, once she had a nightmare that the coma patient woke up"
Scrubs
"I don't want to get into it."
Scrubs
"I'm pretty sure I can handle it, Ted."
Scrubs
"'Cause when Carla told me about the new baby,"
Scrubs
"but I've been kind of jazzed about this being my first girlfriend."
Scrubs
"it's coming like a freight train, I'll try to find a new gal."
Scrubs
"'Cause, I mean, I'd be having a second girlfriend. Yeah."
Scrubs
"- Not you, Ted. - Still alive!"
Scrubs
"- Crystal. - Good."
Scrubs
"The Gooch does not like being lied to."
Scrubs
"Whose room is this?"
Scrubs
"honest to God, was flattened by a steam roller,"
Scrubs
"so his sister could say goodbye."
Scrubs
"and interns who want to save the world."
Scrubs
"No. I don't want to end up being an old lady"
Scrubs
"I wish I was emotionally healthy enough to love someone so much"
Scrubs
"I thought it would be different this time with J.D."
Scrubs
"Well, that's dumb."
Scrubs
"Hey, I miss you."
Scrubs
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