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Clips from Scrubs - My Absence (S08E08)

"At the end of the day, relationships are tricky."
Scrubs
"Please don't do that whole philosophical, pontificating thing."
Scrubs
"J.D.: Okay."
Scrubs
"If I believe it"
Scrubs
"J.D.: Hi, Perry."
Scrubs
"Now, while I've got you,"
Scrubs
"I'm going to start by passing out some gold stars."
Scrubs
"What I think we should do is take passion and compassion..."
Scrubs
"Hello. If it's all right with everyone,"
Scrubs
"No, I meant that you were the joke."
Scrubs
"Ya, ya."
Scrubs
"What's your name?"
Scrubs
"I'm Sonja, but everybody calls me Sunny."
Scrubs
"Is it because of your haunting resemblance to Sonny Bono?"
Scrubs
"Mr. Francone has been in a coma for well over a year."
Scrubs
"do not ever come to me and ask me questions"
Scrubs
"If you do, my answer will always be the same."
Scrubs
"Kidding."
Scrubs
"The man's a potato."
Scrubs
"Dr. Reid, no offense, but have you been drinking?"
Scrubs
"Oh, no. I read that shampooing with beer is good for your hair."
Scrubs
"So, I'm all sudsed up in the shower this morning"
Scrubs
"So, now I've got to spend the entire day smelling like a brewery"
Scrubs
"because there's no way that I'm going to rinse off with ice water."
Scrubs
"so if I get cold, it looks like I'm smuggling candy corns."
Scrubs
"Hi, Peggy. This is Dr. Mahoney."
Scrubs
"She's going to help me take care of you."
Scrubs
"- What's that smell? - It's my hair, okay?"
Scrubs
"I wish my husband was here. He passed away several months ago."
Scrubs
"I'm sorry, Peggy, is it cold in here? 'Cause it just feels a little freezing."
Scrubs
"I don't know, just hearing about how much that old patient"
Scrubs
"missed her husband made me think of you."
Scrubs
"And a deep, wet tongue-kiss right back at you."
Scrubs
"Denise likes the big fellas."
Scrubs
"Oh, check out the ripples on that gentleman."
Scrubs
"Fat dudes rule."
Scrubs
"They never expect commitment and they try so hard in the sack."
Scrubs
"Hmm. Well, I'm just gonna put this out here for bait"
Scrubs
"Gooch! I forgot to tell you I have a girlfriend now."
Scrubs
"Stephanie Gooch, this is Elliot."
Scrubs
"And this is some girl who digs fat guys."
Scrubs
"There's like 75 other people you haven't met"
Scrubs
"who don't believe you exist."
Scrubs
"Baby, I was pulling some dude's spleen out today,"
Scrubs
"looks like a tiger."
Scrubs
"Why is that part a different color?"
Scrubs
"Because these past couple of months, your butt's been like, pow!"
Scrubs
"Baby, this is big news, and I want to talk to you about it. I do."
Scrubs
"First, I've got to go to the bathroom."
Scrubs
"J. D! I've got news!"
Scrubs
"- You seen J. D? - No. I have not."
Scrubs
"Would you like to know why? He isn't coming in today."
Scrubs
"I'm coming in early and I'm staying late because life is too darn short"
Scrubs
"Sorry I took so long, honey. The line was long."
Scrubs
"Uh-huh."
Scrubs
"- How'd J.D. Take the news? - He's not here today."
Scrubs
"Yeah, right. Like you weren't just telling Elliot."
Scrubs
"it stays between us."
Scrubs
"I'm sorry."
Scrubs
"All right."
Scrubs
"- Have the internal... - Test results... The bleeding and..."
Scrubs
"No, I know"
Scrubs
"Baby, it's not fair."
Scrubs
"Hey, Elliot, let me tell J.D. About the baby."
Scrubs
"Already did it."
Scrubs
"- You... - J.D.: Turk! I'm so excited for you."
Scrubs
"- Too little too late, buddy! - J.D.: Turk!"
Scrubs
"- J.D.: Turk! - No."
Scrubs
"No. He's gone."
Scrubs
"J.D.: Elliot! Take me off speaker!"
Scrubs
"I'm trying."
Scrubs
"Stupid technology."
Scrubs
"Dr. Cox! Two quick things."
Scrubs
"First off, I looked up a picture of Sonny Bono"
Scrubs
"- Huh? - The potato."
Scrubs
"Right."
Scrubs
"and she was hoping we could keep Mr. Francone, the potato,"
Scrubs
"I'll tell you what to do first. Go ahead and write this down."
Scrubs
"Okay."
Scrubs
"Wrap him in foil and poke holes in him with a fork"
Scrubs
"- so he cooks all the way through. - Come on."
Scrubs
"to care about people who I cannot help."
Scrubs
"In fact, it's her only real fault."
Scrubs
"Look at her over there. She's caring right now."
Scrubs
"Actually, yeah, Dr. Cox is here."
Scrubs
"J.D.: God help me, I could sense it. Put me in his pocket."
Scrubs
"- J.D. I'm... - Elliot, please, I want this."
Scrubs
"I miss my boyfriend so much."
Scrubs
"If he were here, I might actually lick his face."
Scrubs
"Thank you, Dr. Appropriate."
Scrubs
"Peggy, I'm going to have a quick chat with these two, okay, sweetie?"
Scrubs
"Thanks, Bob."
Scrubs
"Dr. Kelso, you do realize that you don't work here anymore?"
Scrubs
"Look, her husband was an old friend."
Scrubs
"than you two will ever know."
Scrubs
"I don't know you, but I assume I have you beat because you're blonde"
Scrubs
"and you're rolling with Dr. Reeks-of-Beer."
Scrubs
"It's my hair, okay?"
Scrubs
"Yeah, and watch the lip, grandpa."
Scrubs
"'Cause you wouldn't be the first old man I ever beat up."
Scrubs
"I like her. She's got girl balls."
Scrubs
"Come on, admit it. You miss me as much as I miss you."
Scrubs
"There you go, Dorian, that's what I think of you as a person."
Scrubs
"I hope you enjoyed it. Here, you."
Scrubs
"I didn't hear it all, but that sounded harsh."
Scrubs
"Carla said I could tell something to just one person, so here goes."
Scrubs
"Carla and I are having a baby!"
Scrubs
"No, you're having a second baby."
Scrubs
"You had a second kid?"
Scrubs
"We've only known each other a week."
Scrubs
"apparently I've done a real number on my sperm."
Scrubs
"They're just kind of blobs that roll from place to place."
Scrubs
"Hey, Nurse Espinosa, Carla. Look, I know you're not working tonight,"
Scrubs
"but I was hoping you could stay and help me keep my coma patient alive"
Scrubs
"So. Can you stay and help me out tonight?"
Scrubs
"Yay!"
Scrubs
"Dial it down."
Scrubs
"J.D. And I usually eat lunch together."
Scrubs
"Oh, that's very romantic."
Scrubs
"I will try not to drill any more farts into it."
Scrubs
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