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Clips from King of the Hill - A Man Without a Country Club (S06E06)

"BlLL: And we could arrange those garbage cans just like a string of pearls."
King of the Hill
"That'll show Kahn."
King of the Hill
"Why you tell hillbillies we get into Nine Rivers?"
King of the Hill
"I was just trying to make them feel bad."
King of the Hill
"But it backfire and wind up bumming me out!"
King of the Hill
"Nine Rivers turn us down six times already."
King of the Hill
"Last time they send rejection letter, we not even mail in application."
King of the Hill
"I'm tired of feeling like rare orchid growing..."
King of the Hill
"from giant pile of dung that is this alley."
King of the Hill
"Nine Rivers is only all-Asian country club in Heimlich County."
King of the Hill
"We all-Asian. We should be there."
King of the Hill
"All right. Then this time, we not use proper channels."
King of the Hill
"Call Ted Wassanasong."
King of the Hill
"He now the big muckamuck on membership committee."
King of the Hill
"We invite him over, fill him with the liquor and pop the question."
King of the Hill
"We eat there, shower there."
King of the Hill
"We only have to come back here to pick up invitations..."
King of the Hill
"to next party at Nine Rivers!"
King of the Hill
"What happens if my tee shot lands on a bird's back..."
King of the Hill
"by a larger bird who grabs the ball and drops it in the hole?"
King of the Hill
"Hi-ya!"
King of the Hill
"Well, we've been forbidding Chang to date Connie."
King of the Hill
"Let's have dinner and remind ourselves why."
King of the Hill
"Greetings, Ted and Cindy Wassanasong!"
King of the Hill
"It's been too long!"
King of the Hill
"Say, the alarm in my Mercedes is on the fritz."
King of the Hill
"Am I going to be okay on the street?"
King of the Hill
"Or should you move your car and let me park in the garage?"
King of the Hill
"The only crime here is how much taxes are going up..."
King of the Hill
"So I hear very funny joke the other day."
King of the Hill
"Takes place at Nine Rivers Country Club. You ever been there?"
King of the Hill
"I'm not the type to keep track of these things."
King of the Hill
"Actually, Minh the big joke-teller."
King of the Hill
"He's incredibly successful!"
King of the Hill
"Oh, wait. That's not a joke. It really happened."
King of the Hill
"Please. Ted and Cindy do not want to hear about my success."
King of the Hill
"Let us repair to the lanai. The sunset awaits us."
King of the Hill
"Cohibas!"
King of the Hill
"Super nice."
King of the Hill
"Kahn, that's only for members."
King of the Hill
"I think I see where you're going with this. Let me help."
King of the Hill
"KAHN: Hey, monkey!"
King of the Hill
"and buy me new martini pitcher!"
King of the Hill
"It was just an accident, Kahn."
King of the Hill
"If that kind of thing bothers you..."
King of the Hill
"you shouldn't have bought a house on a golf course."
King of the Hill
"They build crude replica of fourth hole at Nine Rivers..."
King of the Hill
"because they not good enough to play there like you..."
King of the Hill
"Hitting into this kind of wind, you've got to play the ball back in your stance."
King of the Hill
"Keep it low. Then just watch it bite and hold."
King of the Hill
"Huh. Not a lot of guys know how to hit a decent knockdown shot."
King of the Hill
"Just takes practice. Cigar?"
King of the Hill
"Oh, don't mind if l...."
King of the Hill
"Oh, you probably didn't realize it, but this is Cuban."
King of the Hill
"-I'll just go ahead and destroy it for you. -Good one."
King of the Hill
"You know, anybody who went to all this trouble to build a replica..."
King of the Hill
"really ought to try the real thing."
King of the Hill
"How would you like to play Nine Rivers tomorrow as my guest?"
King of the Hill
"Well, that would be.... Wow!"
King of the Hill
"I'll get us a 9:00 tee time. And bring a friend."
King of the Hill
"Oh, Kahn, I almost forgot. Bye."
King of the Hill
"Well, this evening wasn't a complete waste."
King of the Hill
"Looks like Nine Rivers has finally found its white guy."
King of the Hill
"I think you got the best one of the lot, too."
King of the Hill
"Yes. There's no two ways about it. He's super white!"
King of the Hill
"I'd better go sew a pom-pom to the top of my hat."
King of the Hill
"I've never golfed with a caddie before."
King of the Hill
"-I'm gonna treat him like crap. -Now, hold on."
King of the Hill
"-Bill's out! -No, I'm okay. I can still play!"
King of the Hill
"I haven't decided who I'm taking yet."
King of the Hill
"Wingo. He always picks three."
King of the Hill
"Except when he picks five."
King of the Hill
"So beautiful."
King of the Hill
"I have to go to the bank and make an unexpected deposit."
King of the Hill
"What happened to the two skinny guys or the fat one?"
King of the Hill
"Hank prefers my company. And who can blame him?"
King of the Hill
"Yes. Well, Hank, I'll show you to the locker room..."
King of the Hill
"so you can change into your clothes."
King of the Hill
"But he cannot change club policy. You put him in very awkward position."
King of the Hill
"-I think you should go. -Nonsense."
King of the Hill
"Hank, I want you to meet the chairman of our membership committee, Mr. Ho."
King of the Hill
"He'll be our fourth."
King of the Hill
"How should I know? They're speaking Chinese."
King of the Hill
"Mr. Ho says, ""Let's do it, Hank. Let's play some golf."""
King of the Hill
"Don't be nervous."
King of the Hill
"Super nice."
King of the Hill
"Looks like this guy's a golfer."
King of the Hill
"Here it is, Hank. Number four. The signature hole."
King of the Hill
"What? Why are you so interested in that chicken-fried loser?"
King of the Hill
"If we don't attract at least one non-Asian member..."
King of the Hill
"the PGA is going to pull the tournament from Nine Rivers."
King of the Hill
"You deliver me Hank, and I'll put you up for junior membership."
King of the Hill
"You will offer me full membership."
King of the Hill
"Hole-in-one! Hole-in-one!"
King of the Hill
"That was my second shot and it didn't even go in."
King of the Hill
"Look at this guy. A perfect swing, a sense of humor..."
King of the Hill
"I hate Hank."
King of the Hill
"Leaving us to play with his fancy new friends on his fancy-ass golf course."
King of the Hill
"Oh, God, I hope he comes back. I love Hank."
King of the Hill
"Pathetic."
King of the Hill
"I'll make sure we stock Alamo here from now on, Hank."
King of the Hill
"That's the level of service Nine Rivers offers its members."
King of the Hill
"Whoa!"
King of the Hill
"What do you pay for greens fees at the public course?"
King of the Hill
"Our rates are competitive with that."
King of the Hill
"All-Asian? No. At least not by design."
King of the Hill
"You see, this club was founded..."
King of the Hill
"by an immigrant Vietnamese hot-sauce tycoon..."
King of the Hill
"The first members were his friends, who also happened to be Asian."
King of the Hill
"And then their friends joined, also Asian. And so on."
King of the Hill
"It's kind of like Arlen Lanes."
King of the Hill
"Their Tuesday night league's nothing but locksmiths."
King of the Hill
"Oh, but you will."
King of the Hill
"Laos, China, Vietnam, Cambodia..."
King of the Hill
"Join us, brother."
King of the Hill
"Think about it, Hank."
King of the Hill
"Talk it over with your wife, Peggy, and son Bobby, age 13."
King of the Hill
"Black car!"
King of the Hill
"If we're voted in, Mr. Ho will pull up..."
King of the Hill
"present membership card, parking decals, official windbreaker...."
King of the Hill
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