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Clips from King of the Hill - A Man Without a Country Club (S06E06)

"and they're all booked up."
King of the Hill
"Taking care of a putting green means extra watering..."
King of the Hill
"Let's go! Let's go! Let's build a putting green!"
King of the Hill
"This is one small step for man..."
King of the Hill
"How many food stamps it cost to play a round?"
King of the Hill
"What I need to clutter my backyard with rinky-dink putting green for?"
King of the Hill
"Eldrick ""Tiger"" Woods as he pumps his fist in victory."
King of the Hill
"-Shush it! -I'm not finished!"
King of the Hill
"Signature hole at Nine Rivers."
King of the Hill
"No woider this 175-yard masterpiece,,,"
King of the Hill
"[Kahn clapping]"
King of the Hill
"of the fourth hole right here in the alley."
King of the Hill
"-That's 176 yards. -I don't follow your math..."
King of the Hill
"Nothing that lands in there's ever coming back."
King of the Hill
"Dare I dream it? Nine Rivers will be our new home."
King of the Hill
"Is that still a hole-in-one? Because that's how I'm gonna play it."
King of the Hill
"Dang it, Dale. It already happened once. What are the odds of it happening again?"
King of the Hill
"Not very!"
King of the Hill
"We just had you over a few.... Well, yeah, we meant to."
King of the Hill
"Rest easy."
King of the Hill
"due to skyrocketing property values."
King of the Hill
"-We're charter members. -Really?"
King of the Hill
"-And the joke? -Oh. Yes."
King of the Hill
"Man walks into a bar, it's Kahn!"
King of the Hill
"I'm sure they would rather taste it..."
King of the Hill
"by means of your filet mignon."
King of the Hill
"Eight."
King of the Hill
"Come, Ted."
King of the Hill
"And that's not all."
King of the Hill
"We'll never smoke them all tonight."
King of the Hill
"Good thing you have a private humidor at Nine Rivers."
King of the Hill
"and me."
King of the Hill
"If I'm gonna play a fancy-smancy club like Nine Rivers..."
King of the Hill
"DALE: Three. HANK: Yes."
King of the Hill
"Sorry, Hank. I'm not gonna be able to golf with you today as..."
King of the Hill
"Howdy, neighbor. Need a fourth?"
King of the Hill
"Uh, these are my clothes."
King of the Hill
"I should have told you about our dress code."
King of the Hill
"-No denim nor T-shirts. -Ted is powerful man."
King of the Hill
"What are they saying?"
King of the Hill
"I look Chinese to you?"
King of the Hill
"Pinch me, Mr. Ho."
King of the Hill
"God dang it! Dang."
King of the Hill
"Oh, Ted, thank you, yes!"
King of the Hill
"Well, you can forget it unless you make Mr. Ho see..."
King of the Hill
"-Associate membership. -Full membership!"
King of the Hill
"It was awfully nice of you to drive your cart down to the 7-Eleven..."
King of the Hill
"I guess that's my clumsy way of saying I hope you'll be one."
King of the Hill
"Well, I'm flattered. But I could never afford--"
King of the Hill
"Oh, no. It's surprisingly affordable. Especially for new members."
King of the Hill
"$1 1."
King of the Hill
"Well, no offense, but isn't Nine Rivers an all-Oriental club?"
King of the Hill
"after he was excluded from all the other clubs in Heimlich County."
King of the Hill
"Still, I don't really know anyone here."
King of the Hill
"Hank, everyone at Nine Rivers come from different places."
King of the Hill
"Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, South Korea."
King of the Hill
"-ls that a Continental? -Yes. Yes."
King of the Hill
"Because I sell propane and propane accessories."
King of the Hill
"-Mr. Tranh. -The hot-sauce guy?"
King of the Hill
"And these gentlemen are from the PGA."
King of the Hill
"This is Hank Hill, one of our most respected members."
King of the Hill
"Howdy."
King of the Hill
"I must say, Hank, you seem very down-to-earth for a man of your wealth."
King of the Hill
"No, the dais is reserved for honored guests and new members."
King of the Hill
"Now, I hope every member has writtei their iame oi a raffle ticket,"
King of the Hill
"There it is, Haik Hill,"
King of the Hill
"You won! Golf with Tiger Woods!"
King of the Hill
"If you wait to take your picture with Haik, he 'll be ii the lobby later,"
King of the Hill
"The liie starts with me,"
King of the Hill
"Why did I get prime rib and everyone else got eggplant?"
King of the Hill
"We told them Fred Chung was from Hawaii."
King of the Hill
"Now I'm asking you to stay because you are you."
King of the Hill
"-To be fair, you used to sell tractors. -Yeah, but Ted didn't know that."
King of the Hill
"And even though Nine Rivers had..."
King of the Hill
"What the...."
King of the Hill
"Have I not suffered enough in this life as your neighbor?"
King of the Hill
"That's why I left Jeans West, that's why I don't bowl on Tuesday nights, and...."
King of the Hill
"-Forget it. You wouldn't understand. -Oh, yeah. You right."
King of the Hill
"I always feel comfortable everywhere I go."
King of the Hill
"You're in a better place than Nine Rivers."
King of the Hill
"There is no place better than Nine Rivers. Oh, this is it?"
King of the Hill
"This is the rest of our lives?"
King of the Hill
"Oh, Kahn."
King of the Hill
"No, Kahn. We just came over to give you something."
King of the Hill
"Dues are a six-pack every 18 holes. What do you say?"
King of the Hill
"And as new member, I move we kick Dauterive out."
King of the Hill
"Huh? What was that?"
King of the Hill
"It's that dang PGA tournament they're gonna be playing..."
King of the Hill
"over at the Nine Rivers Country Club."
King of the Hill
"Tiger Woods comes to town and everyone's a golfer."
King of the Hill
"You know, it's times like these when it seems crazy..."
King of the Hill
"that we don't have our own backyard putting green."
King of the Hill
"I don't know, Hank."
King of the Hill
"extra mowing, more fertilizing."
King of the Hill
"Our lives would be nothing but lawn care."
King of the Hill
"Well, I've been asking for a batting cage since the day we moved in."
King of the Hill
"-Shush! -Hey, it's a backyard golf course."
King of the Hill
"Regular redneck country club."
King of the Hill
"Well, it's better than the putting green you have in your back yard."
King of the Hill
"Oh, wait, guys. Kahn doesn't have one, does he?"
King of the Hill
"Let's see. He's got a hammock..."
King of the Hill
"trampoline, a shed, a built-in grill."
King of the Hill
"I'm joining Nine Rivers Country Club."
King of the Hill
"-Kahn, you're a lucky ducky! -Yeah."
King of the Hill
"Next weekend I'll be in members-only box on fourth hole cheering for..."
King of the Hill
"-Maybe I'll high-five him. -Bobby?"
King of the Hill
"Yeah, that's right. The fourth hole."
King of the Hill
"KAHN: From the tee, a deep raviie separates the golfer,,,"
King of the Hill
"from a two-tiered, zoysia-grass greei,"
King of the Hill
"Aid ii froit by buikers, which eicircle it like a straid of rare pearls,"
King of the Hill
"cai become either a portrait of frustratioi,,,"
King of the Hill
"or oie of uiequalled joy,"
King of the Hill
"Dream over, rednecks. Time to return to putt-putt nightmare."
King of the Hill
"The hell with Kahn! You know, we've already got the green."
King of the Hill
"We can put in a fairway and make an exact replica..."
King of the Hill
"According to my truck odometer..."
King of the Hill
"Boomhauer's place is exactly a tenth of a mile from here."
King of the Hill
"Well, you see, the alley is sort of like a big ravine."
King of the Hill
"-Especially when the sewer backs up. -Sorry."
King of the Hill
"And Kahn's yard might as well be a sand trap."
King of the Hill
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