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Clips from King of the Hill - A Man Without a Country Club (S06E06)

"Please, Hank Hill, say yes!"
King of the Hill
"You joined an all-Asian country club?"
King of the Hill
"Peggy, Nine Rivers isn't about whether you're Asian or not."
King of the Hill
"It's about golf and friendship. You'll see what I mean tonight."
King of the Hill
"There's a big banquet to welcome the PGA."
King of the Hill
"-Boy, I hope they have forks. -All right, Hank..."
King of the Hill
"what I'm about to say is not politically correct, but here goes."
King of the Hill
"This whole thing seems odd."
King of the Hill
"-Hank Hill, so nice to see you. -Hank, how's my favorite new member?"
King of the Hill
"Wow! Forgive me for saying this, Peggy Hill, but you are super hot."
King of the Hill
"You are forgiven."
King of the Hill
"If I had a daughter, here is where she would marry your son."
King of the Hill
"-I save you seat at new-member table. -Hold on, Hank."
King of the Hill
"There are some people from the PGA I'd like you to meet."
King of the Hill
"Oh, Hank, you are out of control."
King of the Hill
"I don't really know anybody up there."
King of the Hill
"Nonsense. You know Mr. Ho. And this is the founder of our club..."
King of the Hill
"-Ah, there's a rooster on the label. -Peggy is just joking."
King of the Hill
"You'll find the Hills have a wicked sense of humor."
King of the Hill
"-Well, enjoy dinner. -Aren't you sitting here?"
King of the Hill
"But Kahn and Minh are new."
King of the Hill
"Hank, I'm not sure, but I think we are gods to them."
King of the Hill
"Good eveiiig, Before we get started,,,"
King of the Hill
"wait staff, table 28 ieeds a bottle ofhot sauce,"
King of the Hill
"Toiight we ha ve a very special prize,"
King of the Hill
"A practice rouid of golf with the greatest Asiai player ii the history of the game,"
King of the Hill
"Tiger Woods,"
King of the Hill
"Aid the wiiier is,,,, Oh, my goodiess, Haik Hill!"
King of the Hill
"Coigratulatiois, Haik Hill,"
King of the Hill
"But the real wiiier here is Tiger,"
King of the Hill
"T ed, you fixed the raffle. I could go to jail for this."
King of the Hill
"He's a new member. Why didn't Kahn sit at the head table?"
King of the Hill
"Look, the PGA was going to cancel the tournament here..."
King of the Hill
"because we didn't have any non-Asian members."
King of the Hill
"So you only like me because of the color of my skin?"
King of the Hill
"It wasn't my swing or my sense of humor?"
King of the Hill
"Hank, it's not like you're not getting anything out of this."
King of the Hill
"You got the hat, the slacks, a round with Tiger Woods..."
King of the Hill
"-and a $40,000 membership. -$40,000?"
King of the Hill
"You said it was $1 1."
King of the Hill
"Hank, I will admit I first asked you to join because you are white."
King of the Hill
"My friend."
King of the Hill
"Can I ask you one more question?"
King of the Hill
"What and what accessories do I sell for a living?"
King of the Hill
"the most perfectly groomed zoysia grass I've ever seen..."
King of the Hill
"which grows more upright and gives a cleaner cut."
King of the Hill
"I knew I left my beer in a hole somewhere."
King of the Hill
"[Kahn screaming]"
King of the Hill
"Hank Hill! What you do?"
King of the Hill
"Now that you quit, they take away my membership."
King of the Hill
"I just didn't feel comfortable."
King of the Hill
"You know, my original name is Smith."
King of the Hill
"I just changed it to Souphanousinphone when I moved to Texas."
King of the Hill
"Breathe in the tranquility. Breathe out the frustration."
King of the Hill
"Maybe I divorce you and marry someone who's already a member."
King of the Hill
"[Knocking on door]"
King of the Hill
"Fine. You can play through."
King of the Hill
"Please! Not in the face."
King of the Hill
"I accept your offer."
King of the Hill
"Seriously. You're on the bubble."
King of the Hill
"No. No putting green, Hank. Your joke is completely accurate."
King of the Hill
"The greei is jealously guarded from behiid by iative marshlaids,"
King of the Hill
"but I'm moved by your passion. Go on."
King of the Hill
"and he carries it out of bounds but then is attacked..."
King of the Hill
"How hard would it have been to say we had to pick up Uncle Vong at the airport?"
King of the Hill
"Frankly, I'm leaning towards Boomhauer."
King of the Hill
"But Boomhauer has a bad shoulder."
King of the Hill
"[Car honking]"
King of the Hill
"Hey, I thought I said to bring a friend."
King of the Hill
"The first shot only sets tone for entire day."
King of the Hill
"Hillbilly!"
King of the Hill
"that Hank would be the perfect Nine Rivers member."
King of the Hill
"Done."
King of the Hill
"But we all have one thing in common. Our love of golf."
King of the Hill
"Oh, it's just a hearse."
King of the Hill
"We're in!"
King of the Hill
"Hey, Hank Hill."
King of the Hill
"I hear Haik got a hole-ii-oie the other day,"
King of the Hill
"Oh, that. That's just a club tradition."
King of the Hill
"-Everything okay, Ted? -Great. Everything's fine."
King of the Hill
"Just relax."
King of the Hill
"Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org"
King of the Hill
"Bobby?"
King of the Hill
"I would be honored--"
King of the Hill
"I must apologize for my neighbors."
King of the Hill
"Kahn?"
King of the Hill
"Damn it, Kahn! Do you want to join Nine Rivers?"
King of the Hill
"Maybe we go there sometime, watch PGA tournament together."
King of the Hill
"He abandoned you, Bill. Quit being such a doormat."
King of the Hill
"Get back on your unicycle, go down to Williams-Sonoma..."
King of the Hill
"Yeah!"
King of the Hill
"-The new member always wins. -Then why didn't Kahn win?"
King of the Hill
"Bad news. I just called every public course in Heimlich County..."
King of the Hill
"one giant leap for golfkind."
King of the Hill
"Knock it off. Now, I'm thinking of a number."
King of the Hill
"Oh, I'm sorry. It's my fault."
King of the Hill
"to get my brand, Kahn."
King of the Hill
"You look much younger on the label."
King of the Hill
"The ""Propane Gas Association."""
King of the Hill
"But they said that wouldn't cut it."
King of the Hill
"Tractors?"
King of the Hill
"I'm sure of it. He enunciates very clearly."
King of the Hill
"That Wassanasong fellow said I could bring a friend."
King of the Hill
"Here are your clubs, sir."
King of the Hill
"So goddang beautiful."
King of the Hill
"Let's get you fixed up at the pro shop, Hank. My treat."
King of the Hill
"Some poor sap is walking around with nothing because this guy has it all."
King of the Hill
"and that magnificent head of hair."
King of the Hill
"Nine Rivers Club car is Continental with spoked wheels and a landau roof."
King of the Hill
"You know, Ted, I'm a member of the PGA myself."
King of the Hill
"Then explain this."
King of the Hill
"there was something it didn't have. You guys."
King of the Hill
"And perfectly groomed kakuya grass..."
King of the Hill
"Well, I'm sorry, Kahn, but I could not stay there."
King of the Hill
"HANK: Piich me, Mr, Ho,"
King of the Hill