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Clips from Axe Cop - Taxi Cop (S01E01)

"I'm so glad we had two children, Axey and Flutey."
Axe Cop
"Those two will be inseparable forever."
Axe Cop
"but only during the day."
Axe Cop
"ever!"
Axe Cop
"One day, at the scene of a car auction,"
Axe Cop
"a guy bought the perfect taxi."
Axe Cop
"How much money did you make today, Axey?"
Axe Cop
"All right, that's it. I'm calling the cops."
Axe Cop
"Uh, just sign up here."
Axe Cop
"Well, I think that's something even I can handle."
Axe Cop
"- He's funny. - Whoo!"
Axe Cop
"Must have shot a million bad guys out there today."
Axe Cop
"- put my finger on it. - Wait a second."
Axe Cop
"I bet you don't get to kill a lot of bad guys doing that."
Axe Cop
"Eh, not that you were ever good at that anyway."
Axe Cop
"- You're just shooting them. - Yeah, that's all us cops do."
Axe Cop
"We shoot bad guys with our guns."
Axe Cop
"Get back here! That's my cop car!"
Axe Cop
"I could be, uh, you know, I don't know."
Axe Cop
"Let's get to choppin'."
Axe Cop
"That's odd."
Axe Cop
"My name is Uni-Man. I'm from Uni-Planet."
Axe Cop
"and it was no longer safe to live there."
Axe Cop
"Mmm, they should be machine guns."
Axe Cop
"before I can shoot 'em."
Axe Cop
"Unless you think it was. You think she hates me?"
Axe Cop
"What the heck?"
Axe Cop
"Axey?! You're the head-chopping vigilante?"
Axe Cop
"Yes. It's all part of Fatsozon's master plan."
Axe Cop
"But if the Earth blows up,"
Axe Cop
"and he is getting ready to detonate the bombs."
Axe Cop
"Actually he already has a name."
Axe Cop
"Wexter!"
Axe Cop
"No-oooo!"
Axe Cop
"♪ now your best friend..."
Axe Cop
"Uni-Man, I saved two planets."
Axe Cop
"I can put a piece of your brain in his."
Axe Cop
"Okay. Do it."
Axe Cop
"I mean, chances are he wouldn't pick me, but..."
Axe Cop
"But, Flute Cop, you're brothers."
Axe Cop
"Next."
Axe Cop
"My name is Flute Cop."
Axe Cop
"Sign up here!"
Axe Cop
"They're the best brothers."
Axe Cop
"When I grow up, I'm going to kill bad guys"
Axe Cop
"all day and all night."
Axe Cop
"Well, big brother, I also want to kill bad guys"
Axe Cop
"At night, I want to go home to a family."
Axe Cop
"There! I shot you because you're bad!"
Axe Cop
"That's boring. This is how to kill bad guys."
Axe Cop
"- Hyah! - Yeah, you wish!"
Axe Cop
"You'll never be good crime fighters."
Axe Cop
"That'll be $15."
Axe Cop
"No, it won't. Bad guys don't pay."
Axe Cop
"So he hired his brother."
Axe Cop
"Axe Cop 01x11 - Taxi Cop"
Axe Cop
"Whoa!"
Axe Cop
"Gas prices are through the roof."
Axe Cop
"- I need some good news. - Nothing."
Axe Cop
"Nothing?! You didn't pick up any customers?"
Axe Cop
"Of course I picked up customers. But they all ran off without paying."
Axe Cop
"I have a better idea."
Axe Cop
"Hi. We want to kill bad guys."
Axe Cop
"Well, then you've come to the right place."
Axe Cop
"I'll give you your uniforms"
Axe Cop
"and you'll be cops. Just like that!"
Axe Cop
"Really? That's it? There's no training?"
Axe Cop
"Nope, just sign and suit on up."
Axe Cop
"What's up, Anita? Miss me?"
Axe Cop
"They signed the form and everything."
Axe Cop
"Little Ray? Is that you?"
Axe Cop
"Hey! Axey, Flutey!"
Axe Cop
"So what've you been doing all these years"
Axe Cop
"- Driving a cab. - Seriously?"
Axe Cop
"Not to worry. I'm gonna show you the ropes,"
Axe Cop
"because I know all there is to know about being a cop."
Axe Cop
"Ha ha!"
Axe Cop
"Whoo-hoo! What did I tell you, man?"
Axe Cop
"- Isn't this awesome? - No!"
Axe Cop
"Here, give it a try."
Axe Cop
"No. That's boring."
Axe Cop
"Flutey, let's go!"
Axe Cop
"Hey hey! Hey! Hey!"
Axe Cop
"Oh ho ho ho. Wow."
Axe Cop
"Axey, what are you doing?"
Axe Cop
"If we're not gonna use guns, how are we gonna kill bad guys?"
Axe Cop
"The perfect axe."
Axe Cop
"It contains all of my top-secret documents."
Axe Cop
"I could have sworn you had a head."
Axe Cop
"I'm the smartest man in the universe."
Axe Cop
"Oh really? Well, what brings you to our little ol' planet?"
Axe Cop
"Uni-Planet was taken over by the Evil Fatsozon"
Axe Cop
"Thanks for saving my life and my important documents."
Axe Cop
"They are top-secret designs for a dinosaur."
Axe Cop
"- Even better! - Can he fly?"
Axe Cop
"- He will now. - And if you try to ride him,"
Axe Cop
"he should have spikes that only stab you if you're a bad guy."
Axe Cop
"- Brilliant! - Ooh ooh! And at the end of a long day,"
Axe Cop
"- he should have a family to go home to. - Let's quit while we're ahead."
Axe Cop
"If you ever need my help, give me a call. Here's my card."
Axe Cop
"- on my desk pronto! - The thing is"
Axe Cop
"I have... nothing to report."
Axe Cop
"What?! You ain't shot nobody today?"
Axe Cop
"Son, you are a disappointment."
Axe Cop
"Some head-chopping maniac has been getting to the bad guys"
Axe Cop
"Ay ay ay! Enough with the excuses."
Axe Cop
"If you don't start shooting bad guys,"
Axe Cop
"I'm going to have to report you"
Axe Cop
"to the commissioner of the normal police!"
Axe Cop
"They know me!"
Axe Cop
"No no no! I'll shoot bad guys. I promise."
Axe Cop
"Attention. We have a train robbery in progress"
Axe Cop
"at the downtown train station."
Axe Cop
"- On my way. - Actually scratch that."
Axe Cop
"Someone just chopped the robber's head off."
Axe Cop
"I don't know..."
Axe Cop
"but I am going to find out."
Axe Cop
"And when I do, I am gonna shoot him..."
Axe Cop
"with my gun."
Axe Cop
"I think I'm gonna give that Anita girl from the cop station a call."
Axe Cop
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