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Clips from Rick and Morty - Raising Gazorpazorp (S01E01)

"Oh man."
Rick and Morty
"Okay. Listen to me Morty Jr."
Rick and Morty
"I gotta tell you something very important, okay?"
Rick and Morty
"Killing is bad."
Rick and Morty
"No, Morty Jr. I'm being serious, okay?"
Rick and Morty
"You need to put your energy into something else."
Rick and Morty
"I mean what about dancing? Would you like to learn how to dance?"
Rick and Morty
"I like to dance... on the graves of my enemies."
Rick and Morty
"No, Morty Jr.!"
Rick and Morty
"Daddy, can I go outside?"
Rick and Morty
"No, absolutely not!"
Rick and Morty
"But that's where all the people and the animals are."
Rick and Morty
"The air is poisonous, for you!"
Rick and Morty
"You will die if... You'll die instantly"
Rick and Morty
"- For real? - For real times a million, buddy."
Rick and Morty
"So let's just stay inside... let's try dancing. Right?"
Rick and Morty
"Look at me. We're gonna dance. Come on."
Rick and Morty
"Join, dance with me here. We love to dance."
Rick and Morty
"Why do we love to dance?"
Rick and Morty
"Because I said so!"
Rick and Morty
"- Nice. - Nice."
Rick and Morty
"So, what are you in for?"
Rick and Morty
"Because I got a big... you know..."
Rick and Morty
"penis between my legs."
Rick and Morty
"Veronica Ann Bennett, I find you guilty of having bad bangs."
Rick and Morty
"You are hereby sentenced to... the silent treatment!"
Rick and Morty
"For the crimes of treason against woman kind"
Rick and Morty
"and for creating the sound of which we do not speak"
Rick and Morty
"because it does not exist, you are hereby sentenced to..."
Rick and Morty
"Death."
Rick and Morty
"I hate you so much right now."
Rick and Morty
"This will be the first instance of capital punishment"
Rick and Morty
"in our society in 500 years due to our awesomeness."
Rick and Morty
"So we are forced to improvise."
Rick and Morty
"We placed a large boulder on that ledge."
Rick and Morty
"Holly shit! You're gonna crush us with a boulder?!"
Rick and Morty
"No! Stop interrupting!"
Rick and Morty
"The boulder falls onto a lever that will launch..."
Rick and Morty
"- Knives. - What?!"
Rick and Morty
"Stop interrupting!"
Rick and Morty
"Fine!"
Rick and Morty
"The boulder crushes you."
Rick and Morty
"I just didn't want to admit you were right."
Rick and Morty
"- Ignore them. - Such an asshole."
Rick and Morty
"I feel bad that I let you drag us into this."
Rick and Morty
"I wish could have been a better grandpa to you."
Rick and Morty
"And you know, for what it's worth,"
Rick and Morty
"My top!"
Rick and Morty
"The same top you complimented earlier."
Rick and Morty
"Look! Look at the tag!"
Rick and Morty
"Read it!"
Rick and Morty
"It says..."
Rick and Morty
"Mark Jacobs."
Rick and Morty
"An earth man made this top."
Rick and Morty
"Maybe on your planet separation of the genders"
Rick and Morty
"is the right thing to do,"
Rick and Morty
"but on earth, a certain percentage of males are born gay,"
Rick and Morty
"which is why my clothes are better than all of yours."
Rick and Morty
"Like if I told you that you're using"
Rick and Morty
"a wrong color foundation for your skin,"
Rick and Morty
"and it ends at your neck making you look like a party clown."
Rick and Morty
"Okay. Ouch. Noted."
Rick and Morty
"you're no better than the men whose farts shall remain unspoken"
Rick and Morty
"And if you think my top is cute, you cannot execute."
Rick and Morty
"Very well. Give the earth people spacecraft"
Rick and Morty
"so they may head back to their weird planet"
Rick and Morty
"where women are kind of equal, but not really."
Rick and Morty
"Good job, Summer, and thanks girls."
Rick and Morty
"You girls are really..."
Rick and Morty
"- I was like... - Give them a ship, now."
Rick and Morty
"Morty Jr.! Smoking?!"
Rick and Morty
"That is not okay!"
Rick and Morty
"What are you gonna do, ground me?"
Rick and Morty
"I can't go outside anyway!"
Rick and Morty
"So what? You could do things inside."
Rick and Morty
"You could play guitar, you could masturbate..."
Rick and Morty
"I don't wanna masturbate, I wanna conquer the planet!"
Rick and Morty
"Oh, here we go again!"
Rick and Morty
"Who do you think is gonna love you"
Rick and Morty
"if you conquer the planet Morty Jr.?"
Rick and Morty
"Love. That's all you care about."
Rick and Morty
"What about weapons? What about domination of the enemy?"
Rick and Morty
"Give it to me!"
Rick and Morty
"I didn't mean! I didn't mean that!"
Rick and Morty
"I didn't mean to do that! I'm sorry!"
Rick and Morty
"I'd rather breath poison than living another minute with you!"
Rick and Morty
"Jesus wasn't born on Christmas, they moved the date,"
Rick and Morty
"- Oh, Dad! - Yes, Morty?"
Rick and Morty
"and I am too young to drive."
Rick and Morty
"But first a deep sip from a very tall glass of "I told you so"."
Rick and Morty
"Oh my god, please Dad, come on!"
Rick and Morty
"Oh my god, oh my god, Dad!"
Rick and Morty
"It's okay."
Rick and Morty
"Put the car down Morty Jr."
Rick and Morty
"No!"
Rick and Morty
"♪ And that's how we play handy hands. ♪"
Rick and Morty
"Morty, that's one of the most violently"
Rick and Morty
"I ended up lying to you and yelling at you"
Rick and Morty
"You know parents are just kids having kids."
Rick and Morty
"the next minute you're in a fist fight with your alien son."
Rick and Morty
"We all have bad impulses, bad thoughts."
Rick and Morty
"We just have to learn to channel them into something constructive."
Rick and Morty
"Well you know, maybe there is a job out there for people that feel that way."
Rick and Morty
"Hi, I'm Brad Anderson."
Rick and Morty
"You should consider being a creative."
Rick and Morty
"of mutilation and sexual assaults on a nearly daily basis."
Rick and Morty
"But you know? I channeled it all into my work."
Rick and Morty
"Well, did you get the impression I was trying to make you laugh?"
Rick and Morty
"Tell me that wasn't Brad Anderson."
Rick and Morty
"Maybe you could try being a creative of some kind."
Rick and Morty
"Maybe? I always have sort of wanted"
Rick and Morty
"to see my face on the back of a novel."
Rick and Morty
"I mean what I really wanna do is slit people's throat,"
Rick and Morty
"I know you can do it, son."
Rick and Morty
"I think it's time I get a place of my own."
Rick and Morty
"I promise I call you every day I need money"
Rick and Morty
"or a place to do laundry."
Rick and Morty
"is gonna pay for my rear Axel?"
Rick and Morty
"Isn't it interesting Summer, that after all that stuff we just did"
Rick and Morty
"nothing really mattered, there was no point to it."
Rick and Morty
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