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Clips from The Simpsons - Fraudcast News (S15E15)

"Today, Geezer Rock will be officially designated a national landmark."
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"Per our agreement!"
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"Can't we thin this herd with some smallpox-infected blankets?"
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"Gee, I never noticed that before."
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"He's got a tree in his eye."
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"There's a lot you don't know about me, Marge."
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"Geezer Rock, An Appreciation in Verse."
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"But I didn't read my poem!"
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"Mr. Burns?"
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"And tonight was the night I was gonna show him my tattoo."
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"(SOBBING)"
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"I can't believe that historic rock is gone."
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"My poem has become an elegy."
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"Well, at least some good came out of today."
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"I'll just pay the fine."
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"That stays in."
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"(SPITS)"
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"But one old man we certainly don't miss"
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"Don't be so needy!"
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"Well, I'm going to change this town's accurate impression of me."
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"Don't I already give out turkey slices to the poor?"
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"They were getting too grabby!"
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"I really got hooked on this stuff."
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"I'm always happy to help you, sweetie."
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"LISA: "Elegy for Geezer Rock.""
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""Postcard image, thing to see,""
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"I haven't cried like this since the third Mr. Teeny died."
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"You're okay, you got me broads."
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""Tomorrow's"?"
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"Good day."
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"Boy, I can't wait to dance on his grave!"
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"Okay, it's time to win the love of these hateful morons."
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"It's been in the same family for generations."
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"Now, if..."
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"Want to split an ice cream sundae?"
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"I want the readers to gag on their morning cup of joe."
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"it's sheer humbuggery that pretty girls"
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"Secondly, I want you to pack up and get out."
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"indoor plumbing. The lack of it killed my mother."
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"Cletus, what does that say?"
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"It's apple-ing now, sir."
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"Smithers, do you know Bill from Accounting?"
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"Let me show you why you and all protesters are wrong."
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"and so is Monty Burns."
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"I've got to speak out before it's too late!"
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"Bring that girl to me."
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"I'm sorry, Mr. Burns, but my paper is not for sale."
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"Honeysuckle, Dewdrop."
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"Oh, no!"
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"(NICKERING)"
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"You can't leave now."
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"Sorry, Lisa."
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"I was actually in Basra."
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"I guess we're down to just me."
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"Lise, I've learned a valuable lesson here,"
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"the pen is mightier than the flaming bag of poop."
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"Perhaps there's a non-violent way to silence this girl?"
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"Non-violence never solved anything."
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"Now, I can't print my paper!"
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"What I want, what I want I'll tell you what I want"
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"A hand-operated duplicating device. No electricity needed."
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"Finally in 1992, I was reunited with that chair."
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"Smithers, this calls for the League of Evil!"
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"Blast! Well, gather their watches."
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"I must find another way to vanquish the girl."
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"Fascinating! Do go on."
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"Wait a minute. Are you trying to get dirt on Lisa?"
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"Now, tell me more about your daughter. And speak into the lamp."
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"Liberal wacko, eh? Any young beaux?"
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"Yes."
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"Hello, Beefcake Charlie. (CHUCKLES)"
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"Put on a pot of coffee, drink it and start making burgers!"
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"Some anniversary this is."
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""The Homer Times"?"
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"HOMER: "All my daughter ever did""
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""I want to be just like her, except still a dude!""
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"Oh, Dad, this is so sweet."
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""The Barney Bugle"?"
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"You have a newspaper, too?"
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"It had to be told."
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"I reviewed the new tractors. They're all shite!"
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"I couldn't agree more."
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"(SINGING) The Simpsons"
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"D'oh!"
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"live at Springfield's most beloved tourist attraction,"
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"the man-shaped mountain crag known as Geezer Rock."
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"Geezer Rock will soon be more than just a place for teens"
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"Why did they cancel Futurama?"
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"(SCREAMS)"
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"You crushed my boyfriend! You better be good at making out!"
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"What's the big deal about a rock that looks like a dude?"
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"I've got a dad that looks like a monkey."
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"Bart, you promised you'd stop making that comparison!"
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"We're already immune, you jerk!"
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"We'll lose tourists!"
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"And then, who will buy my roadside corn?"
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"You don't sell roadside corn."
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"A lot that would shock you."
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"Now, before the Undersecretary of the interior"
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"declares Geezer Rock a national landmark,"
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"Thank you. (HOMER STRUGGLING)"
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"(LIGHT APPLAUSE)"
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"(GRUNTING)"
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"Now, to do something I've never done before."
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"Help out an old man."
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""Postcard image, thing to see...""
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"Here's a poem. Run fast or lose your ass!"
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"Mr. Burns is gone."
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"An elegy no one will ever hear."
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"Bart, you're grounded for a year!"
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"Okay. Three bucks."
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"Why don't you publish your poem?"
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"Publish it myself?"
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"Why not?"
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"I'd be a publisher, just like Katharine Graham!"
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"Or that lady who wheels Larry Flynt around."
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"before time could diminish your beauty."
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"MR. BURNS: Oops!"
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"Sir, you're alive! But how?"
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"Because of my svelte physique, I was able to fit in a narrow air pocket."
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