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Clips from The Simpsons - Fraudcast News (S15E15)

"I survived on whatever sustenance came my way."
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"until I was strong enough to continue."
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"are grieving for their fallen god, me."
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"And so, a day after the tragedy,"
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"the town still mourns the loss of its venerable old man."
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"Beloved by children."
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"Yes, the little ones."
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"Thought to be thousands of years old..."
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"I have been 89 for a while now."
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"We'll miss you, Geezer Rock."
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"Quickly, Smithers, re-hydrate me."
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"is the late C. Montgomery Burns."
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"As owner of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant,"
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"Thank you, Geezer Rock, for doing what none of us had the courage to do,"
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"smush Mr. Burns."
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"This town cared more for a soulless piece of granite than for me."
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"I don't have a friend in the world."
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"You have me, sir."
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"Sir, you could improve your image with various good deeds."
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"You eliminated that program in the '30s, sir."
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"I know how to change the way the public thinks of me."
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"I'll buy every media outlet in town!"
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"(SUCKING)"
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"Thanks for helping me deliver the first edition of The Red Dress Press, Dad."
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""to think of Springfield is to think of thee.""
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""Why sky art blue, why trees art green?""
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""And what, pray tell, did thine eyes see?""
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""Perchance, old friend, they gazed at me.""
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""Brought low by nature's oafish hand,""
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""thou crush-ed our reviewing stand""
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""and twixt thy stones glimpsed I the truth.""
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""All things must pass, thy face, my youth.""
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"Oh, wow."
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"You couldn't hold a candle to him."
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"(WEEPING)"
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"Oh, this is one dilly of a daily, Lisa."
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"Can't wait for tomorrow's."
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"I hadn't thought about publishing more."
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"You better. I've already sold a bunch of subscriptions."
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"I don't know. Making nerds cry?"
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"Perfect. You're our TV critic. Ralph, what about you?"
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"I want to be a fire truck."
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"How about a feature columnist?"
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"Yeah, I'm a feature columnist!"
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"Hello."
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"Great glayvin's ghost! He's alive!"
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"Yes, that's right. I pulled a Jesus. Have a nickel."
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"(EXCLAIMS IN SURPRISE)"
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"Burns is alive? Then whose skull am I drinking beer out of?"
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"Mmm-hmm. Oh, yeah."
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"(ALL EXCLAIM)"
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"Whose grave?"
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"Uh, the unknown soldier?"
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"Carry on."
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"Step one, amass a vast media empire."
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"The station's not for sale, Burns."
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"Look, I assure you, no sack of money"
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"There's more to life than being rich, you know?"
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"Nice work, Bart, but give him a runny nose."
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"Snot a problem, chief. Don't call me chief."
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"Sure thing, jerk. Chief is fine."
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"You're on the Morning Zoo with Bill and Marty!"
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"What's your Wednesday whine?"
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"MR. BURNS: Well, first of all, I agree with you two,"
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"can flirt their way out of speeding tickets."
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"(HONKING HORN)"
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"I just bought this station, and you're fired."
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"And play that delightful flush sound on your way out."
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"(TOILET FLUSHING)"
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"I've bought every media outlet in town."
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"That? That says, "I loves you, Brandine.""
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"Oh, Cletus. Tonight, you can knock me up again."
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"Splendid!"
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"Now, let's see how I'm faring on the jumping box."
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"You mean the television, sir?"
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"Television, jumping box, picto-cube, just crank it up!"
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"In tonight's face-off,"
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"My view, he's a great leader and a gallant American."
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"He's got a heart as big as my boobs!"
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"I guess we'll have to agree to agree on this one."
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"That's his daughter. Hmm."
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"All right."
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"Nuclear power helps heat that orphanage"
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"and keeps that hospital humming."
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"But what about wind power? It's cheap and safe."
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"Is it?"
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"Remember, children, nuclear power is your friend,"
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"God bless America. This cartoon was made in Korea."
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"Burns owns everything!"
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""Dear readers, you hold in your hands""
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""We are not afraid to say""
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""Montgomery Burns is a monopolistic, self-aggrandizing""
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""stinky pants.""
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"Hmm. Maybe Burns ain't so great."
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"This little girl has given us a lot to mull."
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"Hey, you mugs, thinking ain't drinking!"
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"Hey! Ow! Okay."
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"Maybe a little gift will change your mind."
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"But the answer is still no."
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"(MUSIC BOX CHIMING)"
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"They're so beautiful. And their breath smells like peppermint."
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"No! No! I won't take your blood ponies!"
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"Go on, sweeties. Go on."
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"I am going to shred you like a Christmas card! Now get out!"
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"I can't! My mom's not picking me up for an hour!"
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"So, what do you think of today's popular music scene?"
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"I think it distracts people from more important social issues."
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"My God, are you always on?"
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"Stupid women drivers!"
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"(SCREAMING)"
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"Stupid women helicopter pilots!"
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"(SCREAMING)"
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"Everyone okay?"
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"(ALL GROANING)"
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"(RATTLING) Uh-oh."
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"We're the only thing stopping Mr. Burns!"
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"And by the way, that story I filed from Baghdad was all made up."
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"(GROANING) Everyone chickened out. Except Ralph."
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"He got poached by the Chicago Tribune."
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"Take the sob sister act somewhere else. You're standing in my light."
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