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Clips from South Park - Ike's Wee Wee (S02E02)

"- Hello there children. - Hey, Chef. How's it goin'?"
South Park
"- Bad. - Why bad? - Children, I heard about what happened at school today."
South Park
"- Now none of you took that nasty marijuana did you? - No dude! We never even saw it."
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"Ok, because I just want to tell you that drugs are bad."
South Park
"- We know, we know, that's what everybody says. - Right, but do you know why they're bad?"
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"Because they're an addictive solution to a greater problem causing disease of both"
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"body and mind with consequences far outweighing their supposed benefits."
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"And do you have any idea what that means?"
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"- What's that? - Oh boy, here we go again."
South Park
"Children, uh, what's the one thing that's more sacred to a man than anything else in the world?"
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"- No, not ham you fat fuck! - Screw you! It's ham isn't it?"
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"No, no, no children, I'm talking about the most important part of a man's body."
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"Oh, your penis."
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"Hey, my mom says you're not supposed to call it a penis Kenny."
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"You're supposed to call it a fireman."
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"- A fireman? - That's the proper way to say it, or else you get a spanking."
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"Damn it children. Why do I always have to be the one to explain all this stuff to you?"
South Park
"Hey Mackee, you got any more pot? My four year old needs a fix."
South Park
"Hey Mackee, who do you think you are you stupid drug taking hippie?!?"
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"- Hey, you stoned man? - You wanna do some drugs?"
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"No, I, I just, I had to get away, mmkay? I just lost my job."
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"Ah, that's weak man. You know what you need? You need a good, stiff drink."
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"- Oh, uh, I, I don't drink, mmkay? - Trust me man, it'll make you feel better."
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"Go ahead, drink the beer. It'll calm you down."
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"Yeh, why the hell not? It's just a beer. Don't be such a pussy, mmkay?"
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"- So, how do you feel? - Oh, about the same."
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"Ah, you just need something a little stronger."
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"- Kyle, you have to stop them! - Stop who?"
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"- Dude, I found out what a Bris is. I found out what they're going to do to Ike. - What?"
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"- Dude, that is not cool! Chopping off wee-wees is not cool!"
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"You don't just chop off somebody's fireman!?"
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"I won't believe it! I won't! I have to ask my mom and dad!"
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"We are young, mmkay?"
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"No promises, no demands, mands, mands, mkay?"
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"- Uh, is this my house? - Your key ain't gonna work Mackee. I changed the locks."
South Park
"- Why Mr. Freely? - I'm not rentin' to you anymore."
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"I heard that you got fired from your job for selling drugs to children."
South Park
"And having never taken drugs, I can say that they have nothing to offer."
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"- But I've never taken drugs either. - I've never taken drugs and look at me. I'm totally fine."
South Park
"Now get off my property before I lose control and kill you."
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"Drug user! Drug user!"
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"Come back here..."
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"- Just a little higher. - Mom, dad!"
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"Oh, hi boobala, I'm glad you're here. You can help us decorate for the party?"
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"Mom, dad, what exactly is this party for?"
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"To celebrate your little brother's passage into life."
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"- They are going to cut off his fireman! - It's Jewish tradition, Booby."
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"Normally we do it right after the baby is born"
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"Oh, now what's gotten into him?!? Stan, will you go talk to him?"
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"Let us cut off your pee-pee, Stan!!"
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"- I can't believe my parents are cannibals. - What are you going to do, dude?"
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"- Come on, Ike. - Hidee how."
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"- Cover me for a while. I'll find a place to hide him and come back."
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"- No way dude! We're not staying alone in your house with your wee-wee chopping parents!"
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"Just give me thirty minutes. Come on Ike."
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"Oh, I can't sleep, it's too cold, mmkay?"
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"- Uh, ehehe, mari-ja-uana's bad. - What?"
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"- Uh, mar-mari-ja-uana makes you feel depressed and low, mmkay?"
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"- And you don't feel that way now?"
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"Uh, good point."
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"Nah, I don't feel any differ..."
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"Oooh, ooh baby, get down, mmkay?"
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"- Come on Ike, hurry up. - A total nurra."
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"- Where's the next train going? - Lincoln, Nebraska. Train leaves in five minutes."
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"- You want to go to Nebraska, Ike? - Noo."
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"What's wrong with his head?"
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"- But my parents are going to cut off his ding-dong."
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"Please mister, I have to hide my brother until they come to their senses."
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"- No can do, sonny. - Damn it!"
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"Ike, if you want to keep your penis, you have to get on this train."
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"- Ready Ike, kick the baby! - Don't kick the baby."
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"Bye Ike, be safe. I'll come find you in Nebraska when mom and dad are back to normal."
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"Oh man, where am I, uh?"
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"Hey wow, it's that counselor from the elementary school, Mr. Mackee."
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"- Wow dude. - Oh, hi boys, how are you today?"
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"Pretty good man, how are you?"
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"Oh, I've been better. I've been kicked out of town for doing drugs."
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"- Hey, us too. - Yeh, remember you caught us smoking weed"
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"Oh. O fortune, how you mock me."
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"Ah, cheer up bro, all you need is some clear liquid to get your head straight."
South Park
"Uh, boys, L-LSD is bad. Mmmm."
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"Uh, who, who put all this cotton in my mouth?"
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"Yeh, baby. The world is so small."
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"I'm free, I'm free."
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"- Sweet dude, totally killer. - That guy's totally tripping."
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"My parents think he's out with me right now, and I have to bring him back for dinner."
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"- Hi boys. - Hi Mr. Mackee."
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"- Are you boys stayin' out of trouble? - Yes."
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"Ok, I, I'm just gonna go over here for a while."
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"Anyways, I need you guys to help me so that my parents don't realize Ike is gone."
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"- Knock it off asshole. - No way! I'm never going back to your parents house."
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"Come on dude, if it were your little brother we'd help you."
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"Ehh. Wait a minute! No you wouldn't!"
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"Would you look at that honey, somebody dropped off a perfectly good trashcan."
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"Yeh, nooiwawagoche."
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"Booby, where have you been? Dinner's been ready for five minutes."
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"Sorry mom, I just had to deal with Ike. He, he's been cranky."
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"How is my little jelly bean?"
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"Babaseemee mama."
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"Ok, but first let mommy give you a kiss."
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"Uh, no mom, he, he doesn't want you kissing him."
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"- My baby! Oh God!!!! - Get out of here you mutt! Let him go!"
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"Oh he's dead, he's dead, my little Boobala's dead."
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"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust."
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"Hey, wait a minute, how come Ike's tombstone have a Canadian flag on it?"
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"Well booby, there's something you have to know."
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"Ike wasn't really your brother, he was adopted."
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"but we loved him all the same."
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"I've been trying to protect Ike from having his fireman cut off"
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"and he's not even my real brother?"
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"What are you talking about?"
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"- What, what, what?!?! - Dude, you shouldn't have told them that,"
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"now they're gonna find him and cut off his penis."
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"Yea, let us ponder the Lord's mercies. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust."
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"Get out of the way you damn hippie."
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"I don't need to take your right wing authoritative bullshit."
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"- What? - Uhh, you're just like the government, man."
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"while supporting guns out of the other, mmkay?"
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"Oh, why don't you go to a Grateful Dead concert?"
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"I can't man, Jerry Berry's dead, mmkay?"
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