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Clips from NewsRadio - Beep, Beep (S04E04)

"No, I've got one of these laser pointers here. [ Clicks ]"
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"You guys remember that secret workplace analysis I had commissioned?"
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"Yeah, well, look how many times you go to the bathroom."
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"you could put on quite a magic show."
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"Well, it looks like our productivity..."
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"has dropped off a little bit-- Yeah? Hell!"
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"Oh."
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"No one consulted with me."
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"Oh, good. I'll be right back, but I want you to think about this."
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"You know, it actually is kind of interesting."
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"Where is he? I don't know. He said he was coming."
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"that somebody else had my exact same birthday."
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"Yeah. Maybe we'll just skip the surprise part..."
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"Number two, this is totally awesome."
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"Yeah, well, uh-- Yeah, well, anyway--"
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"Yeah, but what about these on February 19?"
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"because this one doesn't go quite as high as the other one."
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"Well, that's not something that we'd considered, sir."
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"This paper says "please.""
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"Yeah, well, all right. Um,"
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"last couple of months we've managed to establish..."
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"Dave, let's not get emotional about this."
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"[ Horn Beeps ]"
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"Mr. James wants to see you guys in the break room right away."
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"A hundred if you guys wind up doing it."
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"- Hi. My name is Joseph. I'll be your waiter this morning. - Hi, Joe."
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"What's troubling you, old soul?"
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"I didn't come from a broken home."
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"Then why are you doing that?"
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"Lisa, why don't we go out for lunch today?"
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"I don't know, but he's really good at it."
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"- Better than Beth? - Almost."
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"Dig in. Let's see what you're made of."
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"Okay, you're done. Hey!"
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"Mmm."
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"[ Horn Beeps ] Watch out."
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"[ Horn Continues Beeping ]"
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"Well, I was toolin' around upstairs, right?"
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"With your little car?"
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"[ Laughing ]"
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"It's not funny, Beth. I hit her."
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"Uh-huh. Did you hurt her?"
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"Really? Not even a little, tiny one?"
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"Can we just get over that and move on, please? Sorry. Okay."
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"You know what? Why don't you just go upstairs and apologize to her?"
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"That works every time. I do have to do that."
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"Oh, okay. Hang on. I think I got some double-A's in my desk."
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"[ Knocking ]"
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"Well, you know, I try to, you know-- for the sake of others."
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"Of course, it's a great help to me..."
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"All right? I-I applaud your misguided efforts to make me jealous,"
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"Lisa is not my woman."
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"And how."
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"No, I'm so-- Yeah, no."
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"Oh. Oh."
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"but I hit you with my car about an hour ago."
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"And I just wanted to make sure you were okay, and--"
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"Oh, yeah. Give you your shoe back."
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"I'm fine. [ Laughs ]"
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"Oh, good. Okay. Thanks."
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"Good, 'cause-- Boy, you must think me quite the bounder..."
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"Does this thing have a real motor?"
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"It sure does."
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"Oh, he's, uh-- he's trying to make me jealous..."
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"so that you and I will get back together again."
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"'cause, I mean, that could never happen, right?"
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"Dave, how can you even say that? I know, I know. I'm sorry."
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"In the future,"
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"You got it. Though I think the word "implausible" is a little strong."
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"No, it's not. Bill, look at me."
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"That's a bit of an exaggeration."
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"No, it's not."
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"If you were the last man on earth,"
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"Matthew."
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"So, what can I do you for?"
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"Oh, Dave, let me just put one more coat on it, please. I got a real hot date tonight."
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"you might want to get yourself one of these babies."
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"'Cause the chicks dig the wheels."
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"and get back to work?"
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"Yeah, I gotta get some paper towels. All right."
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"to relieve Matthew of this responsibility."
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"Understand? You want me to kill him?"
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"No! No, I'm saying if something were to happen to the car,"
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"I don't think the investigation would be that aggressive."
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"Dave, I wasn't really mad at you."
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"No. Absolutely not."
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"but he's not getting any work done, and neither am I."
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"Well, it did make me happy. Aha! So the truth comes out at last."
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"[ Sniffs ] All right. You've got work to do."
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"Good. Use it. [ Door Slams ]"
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"I'm busy. Me too."
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"Last time I checked, I was still the boss of you and you. Now get over there."
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"This is a graph of your productivity today..."
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"on a minute-by-minute basis."
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"How could you possibly know how productive we were every minute?"
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"for, you know,"
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"Lisa, look there. The graph doesn't lie."
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"Well, I know I didn't. Oh, insinuating that I did?"
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"What's that? What time did they start fighting?"
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"Wait a minute. When they were going out together,"
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"- did they fight a lot? - That's about all they did."
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"Uh, team? Study's over."
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"Appreciate it. Make sure everybody's got a voucher so we can take care of you."
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"What? No."
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"in New York City, that's the risk you take."
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"[ Sighs ] Yes, but--"
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"What?"
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"Put it on. Put it on."
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"Hi."
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"Do you need a pointer, Mr. James?"
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"[ Clicks ]"
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"No, no! Don't put it in your mouth."
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"Would you get Mr. James a regular pointer? Oh, yeah. Sure."
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"Good. Close your door on the way out, and tell me..."
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"Okay. Now-- Oh, oh."
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"No."
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"You know, the guys who have been secretly observing..."
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"- No. - Good."
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"I got-- I got the results, and here they are."
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"You know, you two get a sequined thermos and a silver toilet,"
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