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Clips from Rick and Morty - Something Ricked This Way Comes (S01E01)

"He would have had to run until he died, making them worthless."
Rick and Morty
"I removed the curse, making"
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"them worth, like, I don't know, $8 million."
Rick and Morty
"Now it does their taxes."
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"Everything's deductible."
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"Pay for it with money."
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"Come on -- come on down."
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""First and...""
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"That's right across the street"
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"from "Needful Things," where you can get evil items for free!"
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"Diabolic son of a motherf--"
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"And a very good morning it is for our guest,"
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"earth scientist Jerry Smith, who's making headlines with his bold"
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"Pluto is a planet."
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"- Well, how about that. - I love it."
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"Morty Smith."
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"I'm a scientist."
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"The center of Pluto, mr. Smith,"
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"is made of a substance called "Plutonium"."
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"where corporations use it to power everything,"
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"There it goes again. Just shrank a little."
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"But a few years ago, your scientists noticed Pluto had"
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"But the rich Plutonians won't wake up,"
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"and they love your dad telling everyone Pluto's a"
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"planet because that means they can keep mining until Pluto goes"
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"Is everyone in your family an idiot?"
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"Yeah, you know, the thing is my dad's really insecure."
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"Hmm. Funny."
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"you'll never guess what we couldn't get rid of."
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"Oh, my god."
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"Oh, my god."
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"Come on."
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"I don't --"
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"Wait, what am I doing?"
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"Oh, Jesus. What a waste of a monkey paw."
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"Mr. Needful, how could you even think of doing something so horrible?"
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"I'm the devil."
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"What should I do when I fail -- get myself an ice cream?"
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"You haven't failed."
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"I mean, seriously."
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"I may be "the devil", but your grandpa is the devil."
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"No! It's not fair."
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"Everyone in this town got something they wanted from you -- even Rick."
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"I was your only friend, and I get nothing?"
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"Okay. I'll give you one thing."
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"- Name it. - I want to help you."
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"Now, let's go get you hydrated."
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"got... haunted boxing gloves that will make you the heavyweight"
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"there, winning the same fight for eternity."
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"I can take out the "eternity" and the padding,"
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"Oh, look, it's Rosemary's baby."
Rick and Morty
"- How's business? - Here's the last of our inventory."
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"We're going to file chapter 11 and do some restructuring."
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"Sounds like code for "you win, Rick.""
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"That was important to you, wasn't it?"
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"It was important to your dumb devil friend."
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"To me, this was all just a bit,"
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"like when bugs bunny [beep] with the opera singer for 20 minutes."
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"Holy crap."
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"Holy crap."
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"But you know what, grandpa Rick?"
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"So have fun not caring."
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"Yeah, it is good. It's the best."
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"I'm sure it is."
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"- Bye. - Later."
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"All right, yeah, put -- put them on my... Eh."
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"then I promise we'll get back to your science project."
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"Dad, Pluto isn't a planet."
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"It's shrinking because of corporations."
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"Yeah, that's what that"
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"anti-planet nut job Scroopy Noopers was screaming"
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"Are you telling me four billion Plutonians are wrong?"
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"You said science wasn't easy."
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"I said science isn't always easy."
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"Obviously, that means sometimes it is easy."
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"Let's not debase ourselves with word games, son."
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"Dad, their whole planet is dying."
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"Ha!"
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"Checkmate."
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"Mr. Smith, please tell my friend here what you just told me."
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"and the "pickles" is Pluto."
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"My god, the man's a genius."
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"Morty, what?"
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"Dad, what did you think about the recent report"
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"Well, son, what did you think when you were 5"
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"and you pooped your pants, and you threw your poopy undies"
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"out your bedroom window because you thought it was"
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"like throwing something in the garbage?"
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"I mean, I'm trimming the hedges,"
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"Was I supposed to think the poop bunny left them?"
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"Good one, dad."
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"Hey, Morty, you want to go on a... Oh."
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"Hey, Jerry, you in here being stupid?"
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"Hey, you know, I was thinking,"
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"Um, listen, can you help me do the stupid science fair project?"
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"Whatever."
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"Jerry, you must be so excited."
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"The Pluto-bel prize is the highest honor a scientist can receive."
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"Also, talk about Pluto being a planet."
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"Your highness, we've captured Scroopy Noopers."
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"You animals! Animals!"
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"Take him to Pluto-namo bay."
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"What?"
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"Did he call you "father"?"
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"Pluto is a cold, cold celestial dwarf."
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"It's a what?"
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"Huh? Oh, planet."
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"Knock them dead out there, you."
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"It's not a planet."
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"It's not a planet!"
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"It was a long six hours, but"
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"into the globally-compliant web 4.0,"
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""e-nomenon", "n33dful.com", spelled with threes instead of "e"'s."
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"We just got bought by Google!"
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"I'm so proud of you, Lucius."
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""We"."
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"You're Zuckerberg-ing me?"
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"I'm the devil, bitch!"
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"What, what?!"
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"Hey!"
Rick and Morty
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