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Clips from Frasier - Beloved Infidel (S01E01)

"Danielle, slow down a little bit. I can't understand you."
Frasier
"Your monthieur?"
Frasier
"'Oui, my monthieur, every day.'"
Frasier
"'My monthieur! You must help me!'"
Frasier
"The best advice I can give you is to either confront your monthieur or..."
Frasier
"...work on your self-esteem. Thank you for your call."
Frasier
"- I've got a date. - Oh, great."
Frasier
"It makes it easier when we dance."
Frasier
"For your information, he is a successful media consultant."
Frasier
"All right, he was driving it."
Frasier
"I wasn't relishing the idea of three hours on right-brain-left-brain-synergy."
Frasier
"to hit a sports bar, have a coupla Brewskis, maybe take in a game."
Frasier
"Right. What shall we do?"
Frasier
"- Dinner? - Perfect."
Frasier
"- Your turn to pay? - You know me so well."
Frasier
"Where I parked, the sign said"
Frasier
"- Martini, Niles? - No, I'm driving."
Frasier
"Unless my eyes deceive me, that's Dad sitting over there."
Frasier
"- It must be a clandestine rendezvous. - Sly boots. He didn't want us to know."
Frasier
"Doing his usual bang-up job."
Frasier
"You little hooligan, get off that couch! You're not supposed to do that."
Frasier
"- Hello, Dr Crane. - Hello. Where's Dad?"
Frasier
"- Oh, yes, it does. - You've never seen me with one."
Frasier
"Take care of your teeth - that look is not flattering on you."
Frasier
"Hello, Dr Crane."
Frasier
"Frasier, last night when I got home, that incident with Dad and Mrs Lawlor"
Frasier
"So I dug out my old boyhood journal"
Frasier
"According to this, there was a three-week period"
Frasier
"You were looking at the "National Geographic" with a flashlight."
Frasier
""it is a tonic for my troubled youth." How old were you when you wrote this?"
Frasier
"Which explains the redundancy "vapid" and "vacuous"."
Frasier
"leaving the lights off so as not to attract bats and moths."
Frasier
"As I peered out through the darkness,"
Frasier
"It's clear what happened. Dad and Mrs Lawlor had an affair."
Frasier
"I appreciate your attempt to spice up our family history,"
Frasier
"This is a photo album Mom prepared of the same period."
Frasier
"I love to see old family photos."
Frasier
"All right. Look at this."
Frasier
"Who's that scrawny chap"
Frasier
"I was under doctor's orders to stay out of direct sunlight."
Frasier
"Right. "Father, did you boff a neighbour while we were roasting marshmallows?""
Frasier
"The way to solve this is to ask your father."
Frasier
"Ask me what?"
Frasier
"It was the time when you and Mom were fighting a lot."
Frasier
"Right. They were even going to give some Aunt Vivienne a call."
Frasier
"Don't bother calling Aunt Vivienne. You want to know the truth? Fine."
Frasier
"It's times like this that most families..."
Frasier
"I deal with human frailty every day."
Frasier
"But in this case, it's not people - one of our parents had an affair."
Frasier
"How could Dad cheat with Marion"
Frasier
"Why don't you just pull up a chair and join us?"
Frasier
"I just can't believe that it's...it's our father."
Frasier
"Thank you, but I need a night to myself."
Frasier
"(Doorbell)"
Frasier
"You may not remember me. Marion Lawlor."
Frasier
"Oh, I'm sorry."
Frasier
"So was my husband. They made a mistake."
Frasier
"Look who I'm telling this to!"
Frasier
"Working on the docks has always been a tradition for us Moons."
Frasier
"That's much better. I'll go run your bath."
Frasier
"I just finished my exercises with Nurse Ratchet."
Frasier
"(Rattling and thumping)"
Frasier
"I never told you this, but Lilith did the same thing to me."
Frasier
"- Who was the bozo in your case? - Oh, God."
Frasier
"Luckily, we were able to put it behind us, but I'll tell you..."
Frasier
"...at times it tore me up."
Frasier
"I was just trying to protect her."
Frasier
"OK."
Frasier
"- Can I watch my programme now? - One second."
Frasier
"What else do you notice, Sherlock? Like, where's your mother?"
Frasier
"- Oh, that was Mom! - Yes."
Frasier
"(Woman with a French accent) 'l have a problem with my monthieur.'"
Frasier
"- With your what? - 'My monthieur.'"
Frasier
"Is that your mother? Your masseur, your Mercedes?"
Frasier
"This is Dr Crane saying, "Have a good evening, you deserve it.""
Frasier
"Roz, aren't you screening these calls?"
Frasier
"Yeah, but when you only have one, you get less particular."
Frasier
"- You look nice. - Yeah?"
Frasier
"Why are you only wearing one heel? You break it off?"
Frasier
"I broke it off in a grate."
Frasier
"a ponytail and a T-shirt under his coat?"
Frasier
"- Is he here? - Where do you meet these people?"
Frasier
"You met him on a bus, didn't you?"
Frasier
"No, we shared a cab."
Frasier
"I was just passing by and thought I'd stop in for a career."
Frasier
"Good luck."
Frasier
"The entrance to your garage is blocked"
Frasier
"by a cab driver with a ponytail scraping gum off the seat."
Frasier
"Better get going."
Frasier
"Oh, actually, bad news. The lecture's been cancelled."
Frasier
"I trimmed that speech to 2½ hours and I open with a funny Al Gore joke."
Frasier
"This is a perfect opportunity for two guys on the loose"
Frasier
"No place fancy. We don't want a heavy meal with deserts."
Frasier
"- Thank you. - Thank you."
Frasier
"it was just for customers of those stores."
Frasier
"It's fine."
Frasier
"I'll nip to Crabtree & Evelyn and buy a bar of lavender soap."
Frasier
"- I'll buy some hand towels. - Sit down!"
Frasier
"You're right. He said he was going to Duke's with the boys."
Frasier
"That certainly isn't the boys."
Frasier
"Oh, he's looking this way. Turn around."
Frasier
"What are they doing?"
Frasier
"It's sort of cute. He's holding her hand..."
Frasier
"Don't look!"
Frasier
"I'll tell you when you can look. Not now. Not now."
Frasier
"- Oh, I don't like this one bit. - What are they doing?"
Frasier
"Nothing, but if Dad's eating here, this can't be a good restaurant."
Frasier
"- What are they doing? - They're talking. He's smiling at her."
Frasier
"Oh, yeah, that's a Crane first date all right."
Frasier
"She's coming this way. Hide!"
Frasier
"- You know who that is? - She looked familiar."
Frasier
"- That was Marion Lawlor. - I last heard that name as a kid."
Frasier
"Mom and Dad fell out with the Lawlors."
Frasier
"Maybe Dad's just patching things up."
Frasier
"No, if we leave now, he'll spot us."
Frasier
"- Maybe you should have that Martini. - I can't, I'm driving."
Frasier
"Not any more. They just towed your car."
Frasier
"(Growling and yapping)"
Frasier
"If Dr Crane sees you, he'll throw both of us off the balcony!"
Frasier
"Good boy. Now, you stay there."
Frasier
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