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Clips from 30 Rock - Jack-Tor (S01E01)

"or, if I may..."
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"this?"
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"Maybe I should just hold something."
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"OK, yeah. This feels more natural. ls that right? Yeah?"
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""New synergy..." Does that sound odd to anyone else?"
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"Does that sound like "news energy?""
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"Could I get a little, uh..."
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"I'm here to talk to you television about the monetizing of today broadcast."
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"Was any of that usable?"
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"- G.E. promo 129. - It's called racial integration."
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"It's called product intergor... "intergortion"?"
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"...The way we monetize broadcast television."
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"How does it work?"
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"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That's me."
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"Let me turn this thing oft"
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"-"Purchases, and is satisfied with..."
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"142."
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"for all of us."
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"Cut. That's a wrap."
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"- It didn't feel like five days, did it? - No..."
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"And we'll be right back."
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"Jenna to the stage, please. Jenna to the stage for "Muffin Top.""
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"Oh, I'm glad you brought that up."
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"I've summited Kilimanjaro. I've showered with Greta Van Susteren."
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"- The time, sir. - Oh, that's right."
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"We'll do it around the corner, OK? I'll be with you in a minute."
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"I have a conference with my corporate division head."
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"Oh, yeah, you guys gonna correlate"
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"overseas earnings-report dynamics?"
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"Yes."
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"Don't worry, I'll have it on your desk first thing in the morning."
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"I am tired of your promises. I want this thing fixed."
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"I'm on it, sir."
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"So, you're Jack's boss, huh?"
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"Oh, yeah, that's what they tell me."
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"- I'm Jenna, by the way. - Oh, I know who you are."
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"Oh, Ron."
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"How do you take your coffee, Ron?"
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"I take it..."
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"Non-dairy creamer."
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"Oh, that's Josh's line. Your lines are in blue."
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"My bad. I'm sorry. Those cards are a little confusing."
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"Hello... everyone. Thanks for waiting, please. Sit... down."
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"OK, that's great. Just one thing, sir. You're looking into the camera a little bit."
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"No, I'm not."
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"I want to, but I'm not, no."
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"Yeah, you know, let's take five minutes, actually, everybody,"
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"while we get Mr Donaghy some coffee cups."
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"I know you want to do this, but I don't think it's working out."
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"Well, I was really trying to help you out of this."
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"No, you should definitely do it. It'll be hilarious."
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"Well, that would be a refreshing change of pace for the show, wouldn't it?"
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"Excuse me."
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"- Why would Tracy pretend to be illiterate? - To get out of coming to work."
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"So first you thought he was illiterate, and now you think he's lazy?"
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"Jeez, you are racist."
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"No, Tracy took advantage of my white guilt,"
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"which is to be used only for good,"
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"Hey, Tra, Kenneth told me you finally got into work."
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"You hear this mess about sometimes "Y" being a vowel?"
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"What a world."
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"We wanted to show you the new posters for the show."
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"Yeah, all right. Cool."
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"So it's OK to hang these all over the city?"
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"Yeah, it's good."
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"- Really? - Really."
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"I'll be leaving early today."
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"Jenna and Ghostface Killah to the stage, please,"
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"for "Muffin Top. ""
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"That's quite a commitment to such terrible writing."
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"Lemon, I don't know how to do this."
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"I know."
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"I don't get it. it's not the fear. I thrive on fear."
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"You're looking out a fake window right now, by the way."
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"I bow-hunt polar bear."
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"I once drove a rental car into the Hudson just to practice escaping."
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"There's just something about performing that I can't wrap my brain around."
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"All this creative crap, acting."
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"Never."
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"Grains and cereals are an important..."
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"Line? Damn it. Son of a bitch."
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"Lemon, I need your help."
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"Really? Jack Donaghy needs my..."
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"Once I set my mind to something, I have to accomplish it."
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"Ten years ago, I was an inch and a half shorter than I am today... sheer willpower."
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"If I don't figure this thing out by Friday, then failure wins, and that's not acceptable."
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"- Oh, God, the room is spinning. - What do you want from me?"
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"OK, here's your pep talk. You're not an actor."
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"You're Jack Donaghy, all right, so quit whining and nut up."
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"You're right. If you can't do this, you are a failure."
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"Josh can do this, and, earlier today,"
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"he ate a club sandwich with the toothpick still in it."
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"Jenna can do this, and she was once engaged to David Blaine."
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"If you were any other woman on Earth,"
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"I would be turned on right now."
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"Go home. Get some sleep."
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"This stays between us, right, Lemon?"
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"Well, I don't think I have to worry about my job any more,"
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"- and I didn't bother Jack at all. - Oh, good for you."
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"That's right. I took your advice."
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"I hooked up with his boss."
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"Who? Ron?"
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"No, he said he was Jack's boss."
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"In the sketch. He doesn't even have a line."
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"- Don't eat in costume. - Give me a break, I'm just..."
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"Actions speak louder than words. Take care of it."
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"Don't worry, sir, I'll have it on your desk first thing in the morning."
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"I am tired of your promises. I just want this thing fixed now!"
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"What is the point of belonging to the Extras Guild"
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"if I cannot get health coverage for my foot."
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"Oh, God, Jenna. I told you, don't listen to rumours."
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"But Frank and Toofer said to me..."
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"- They're messing with you. - No, they wouldn't do that to me."
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"Yeah,they would."
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"using my sexuality."
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"Do you have any left?"
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"Jenna, Ghostface Killah,"
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"for "Muffin Top. ""
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"- Where the hot lesbians at, Lemon? - I knew it. You can read."
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"Fine. Yes. I'm literate."
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