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Clips from 30 Rock - Jack-Tor (S01E01)

TV Series 2006 Season 1, Episode 5 ★ 7.3/10 (12 ratings) 465 clips
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Next Friday is Damon Dash's birthday party,
"Next Friday is Damon Dash's birthday party,"
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I mean thank you.
"I mean thank you."
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or 'hos-mens, " of G.E, products into your program.
"or 'hos-mens, " of G.E, products into your program."
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setting a new standard in upward revenue-stream dynamics...
"setting a new standard in upward revenue-stream dynamics..."
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- Look, I know how this sounds. - No, come on, Jack. We're not doing that.
"- Look, I know how this sounds. - No, come on, Jack. We're not doing that."
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I tried.
"I tried."
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Oh, that... That's just offensive, Jenna.
"Oh, that... That's just offensive, Jenna."
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- OK, all right... - Hey, what are you guys talking about?
"- OK, all right... - Hey, what are you guys talking about?"
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Oh, thank you guys for telling me.
"Oh, thank you guys for telling me."
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- That way. - Thanks.
"- That way. - Thanks."
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That's true. And he never reads the cue cards.
"That's true. And he never reads the cue cards."
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God, I thought that was just crazy Tracy, seeing what he could get away with.
"God, I thought that was just crazy Tracy, seeing what he could get away with."
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Oh, I get it... the whole self-referential thing.
"Oh, I get it... the whole self-referential thing."
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As you know, I've been studying comedy and learning what's funny.
"As you know, I've been studying comedy and learning what's funny."
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You were great in that video.
"You were great in that video."
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- OK, I'll do it. - Great, great. Thanks, Jack.
"- OK, I'll do it. - Great, great. Thanks, Jack."
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Why is Jack Donaghy on the cast list?
"Why is Jack Donaghy on the cast list?"
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He's gonna do this G.E. sketch. It's really funny.
"He's gonna do this G.E. sketch. It's really funny."
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When has it not worked?
"When has it not worked?"
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Yeah, but this is different because I know Jack Donaghy.
"Yeah, but this is different because I know Jack Donaghy."
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Yeah, so now you just have to make yourself 10 years younger and Asian.
"Yeah, so now you just have to make yourself 10 years younger and Asian."
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I don't know what to tell you. They're making me rehearse.
"I don't know what to tell you. They're making me rehearse."
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Scalp the damn tickets!
"Scalp the damn tickets!"
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These are the changes for the sketches you're in.
"These are the changes for the sketches you're in."
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Today is the first day of the rest of my life...
"Today is the first day of the rest of my life..."
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Liz... Did you tell Jack he can be on the show?
"Liz... Did you tell Jack he can be on the show?"
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Yeah, he was kind of excited about it, actually.
"Yeah, he was kind of excited about it, actually."
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Oh, yeah, he's very excited. But you cannot put him on live TV.
"Oh, yeah, he's very excited. But you cannot put him on live TV."
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- What's the first line? - "Product integration. "
"- What's the first line? - "Product integration. ""
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Line?
"Line?"
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- "And is satisfied." " - Oh, ouch, ouch, Are you all right?
"- "And is satisfied." " - Oh, ouch, ouch, Are you all right?"
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I think I just took a picture.
"I think I just took a picture."
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That was fun, you guys.
"That was fun, you guys."
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Liz, I'm a little bit nervous about this rehearsal.
"Liz, I'm a little bit nervous about this rehearsal."
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You don't have to do this. I know how busy you are.
"You don't have to do this. I know how busy you are."
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Oh, no, no, I have to do it. It's a new challenge, and I like challenges.
"Oh, no, no, I have to do it. It's a new challenge, and I like challenges."
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I'm gonna do this, yeah.
"I'm gonna do this, yeah."
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- Did I just hear Jack? - Oh, no, please.
"- Did I just hear Jack? - Oh, no, please."
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I know for a fact he is talking to his boss right now.
"I know for a fact he is talking to his boss right now."
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- Fine. - Don't.
"- Fine. - Don't."
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Of course, sir. I'll look into it right away.
"Of course, sir. I'll look into it right away."
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Actions speak louder than words. Take care of it.
"Actions speak louder than words. Take care of it."
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I'm Ron.
"I'm Ron."
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I take it with the non-daily creamer.
"I take it with the non-daily creamer."
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Quiet, please! Rehearsing from Mr Donaghy's entrance.
"Quiet, please! Rehearsing from Mr Donaghy's entrance."
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What's up, Mr Donaghy?
"What's up, Mr Donaghy?"
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Could I get two coffee cups?
"Could I get two coffee cups?"
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- You think the problem is the writing? - Yeah, it's clunky.
"- You think the problem is the writing? - Yeah, it's clunky."
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- But you know what? You're the boss. - I think I can do it.
"- But you know what? You're the boss. - I think I can do it."
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like overtipping and supporting Barack Obama.
"like overtipping and supporting Barack Obama."
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Yeah, I had to go to reading class.
"Yeah, I had to go to reading class."
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I like it.
"I like it."
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Jack? It's 3:00 in the morning. What's wrong?
"Jack? It's 3:00 in the morning. What's wrong?"
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And it's not the public speaking.
"And it's not the public speaking."
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I've never been able to do it.
"I've never been able to do it."
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OK, look, this is not your fault.
"OK, look, this is not your fault."
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- We'll say you're on a business trip. - I have to do it.
"- We'll say you're on a business trip. - I have to do it."
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I'm one of your actors. I'm freaking out. Talk me down.
"I'm one of your actors. I'm freaking out. Talk me down."
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Any dum-dum can act, Jack, so be a man and get it done.
"Any dum-dum can act, Jack, so be a man and get it done."
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That guy's an extra on the show.
"That guy's an extra on the show."
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He doesn't have lines?
"He doesn't have lines?"
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But he was yelling at Jack.
"But he was yelling at Jack."
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I'm on it, sir.
"I'm on it, sir."
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Frank and Toofer? That's where you're getting your information?
"Frank and Toofer? That's where you're getting your information?"
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I am gonna get back at them...
"I am gonna get back at them..."
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and Yo-Yo Ma to the stage, please,
"and Yo-Yo Ma to the stage, please,"
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I'm unbelievable? What about your racist mess?
"I'm unbelievable? What about your racist mess?"
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Liz is generally pretty racist.
"Liz is generally pretty racist."
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But this job is hard.
"But this job is hard."
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Yeah, I paid to see that. That was supposed to be a Western.
"Yeah, I paid to see that. That was supposed to be a Western."
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and I expect the same of the professionals who work with me.
"and I expect the same of the professionals who work with me."
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Oh, yes, do that. That's hilarious.
"Oh, yes, do that. That's hilarious."
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Pete...
"Pete..."
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I posted on my Weblog that I'll be doing it.
"I posted on my Weblog that I'll be doing it."
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- I'm not messing with you. - So which one?
"- I'm not messing with you. - So which one?"
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but I've been watching you.
"but I've been watching you."
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I have this fantasy of sneaking up to the roof of 30 Rock,
"I have this fantasy of sneaking up to the roof of 30 Rock,"
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Don't be cute, Lemon. You're too old for that.
"Don't be cute, Lemon. You're too old for that."
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the most delicious part of the muffin...
"the most delicious part of the muffin..."
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You're checking out my sweet hips
"You're checking out my sweet hips"
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So do not try to play me
"So do not try to play me"
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I run a tidy bakery The boys all want my cake for free
"I run a tidy bakery The boys all want my cake for free"
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Does she know we went off the air two minutes ago?
"Does she know we went off the air two minutes ago?"
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You served up drama when I ordered your love,
"You served up drama when I ordered your love,"
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Hey, where are you going? They're paging you for rehearsal.
"Hey, where are you going? They're paging you for rehearsal."
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- No, we do a show every Friday, Tracy. - It's not gonna work.
"- No, we do a show every Friday, Tracy. - It's not gonna work."
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and the Friday after that is an orgy over at Elizabeth...
"and the Friday after that is an orgy over at Elizabeth..."
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You're part of a team now, so you have to be in the shows and you have to rehearse.
"You're part of a team now, so you have to be in the shows and you have to rehearse."
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And when you rehearse, Jenna would really like it... I would like it, too...
"And when you rehearse, Jenna would really like it... I would like it, too..."
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if you would read exactly what's on the cue cards.
"if you would read exactly what's on the cue cards."
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- It's making everybody crazy. - Can't do it. I'm an improviser.
"- It's making everybody crazy. - Can't do it. I'm an improviser."
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Lily acting style is like jazz... jazz that you laugh at.
"Lily acting style is like jazz... jazz that you laugh at."
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Just try, OK?
"Just try, OK?"
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I have a meeting upstairs. I'll be right back.
"I have a meeting upstairs. I'll be right back."
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Pete, do you remember that song I recorded
"Pete, do you remember that song I recorded"
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when I was dating that Persian record producer?
"when I was dating that Persian record producer?"
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Oh... no.
"Oh... no."
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It's a dance-pop-techno hybrid called "Muffin Top."
"It's a dance-pop-techno hybrid called "Muffin Top.""
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I gave everybody copies at Christmas.
"I gave everybody copies at Christmas."
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Oh, yeah, right. I don't remember that.
"Oh, yeah, right. I don't remember that."
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Well, apparently, it's a number-one hit in Israel.
"Well, apparently, it's a number-one hit in Israel."
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Hey, Israel. Wow.
"Hey, Israel. Wow."
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I noticed we had a couple minutes left, so I thought I could do it on the show.
"I noticed we had a couple minutes left, so I thought I could do it on the show."
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OK, you can do the short version.
"OK, you can do the short version."
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You should know that "Muffin Top" is number four in Belgium.
"You should know that "Muffin Top" is number four in Belgium."
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Jack Donaghy, Vice President of east-coast television and microwave-oven programming.
"Jack Donaghy, Vice President of east-coast television and microwave-oven programming."
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Hello. For over 100 years,
"Hello. For over 100 years,"
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And I'm here to talk to you today about a wonderful new synergy.
"And I'm here to talk to you today about a wonderful new synergy."
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It's called product integration.
"It's called product integration."
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It's revolutionizing the way we monetize broadcast television.
"It's revolutionizing the way we monetize broadcast television."
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All you have to do as the writing staff of an NBC show
"All you have to do as the writing staff of an NBC show"
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is incorporate positive mentions,
"is incorporate positive mentions,"
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For example, you could write an episode
"For example, you could write an episode"
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where one of your characters purchases and is satisfied with...
"where one of your characters purchases and is satisfied with..."
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one of G.E. 's direct-current drilling motors for an offshore or land-based project.
"one of G.E. 's direct-current drilling motors for an offshore or land-based project."
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Product integration...
"Product integration..."
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I'm sorry. You're saying you want us to use the show to sell stuff?
"I'm sorry. You're saying you want us to use the show to sell stuff?"
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We're not compromising the integrity of the show to sell...
"We're not compromising the integrity of the show to sell..."
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- Wow, this is Diet Snapple? - It tastes like regular Snapple, doesn't it?
"- Wow, this is Diet Snapple? - It tastes like regular Snapple, doesn't it?"
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You should try Plum-A-Granate. It's amazing.
"You should try Plum-A-Granate. It's amazing."
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