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Clips from 30 Rock - Jack-Tor (S01E01)

"I even have a column in "Ebony" called "Musings.""
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"You're unbelievable."
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"Thinking a grown man is illiterate."
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"That's the subtle racism of lowered expectations."
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"- Bing Crosby said that. - No, Bill Cosby said that."
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"That's racist."
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"Look, we can all agree,"
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"The point is, you have people counting on you."
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"You can't be finding excuses not to be here."
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"I just want to be able to do what I want to do."
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"You know, I once shot a whole movie without ever getting out of my car."
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"You're not a big-shot movie star any more, Tra."
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"You're the star of "TGS," and you will read the lines as written,"
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"starting tonight, because this show is important."
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"I Set a very high standard for myself,"
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"When Gaybraham Lincoln gets hit in the crotch, can I go cross-eyed?"
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"Hey, have you seen Frank or Toofer?"
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"the Standards lady is saying my moaning in "Muffin Top" is too graphic."
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"Which of these is less offensive?"
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"Or..."
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"Both sound good to me."
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"Hello, Ron."
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"I would hate for "Muffin Top" to get cut because of a Standards problem."
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"- We're not gonna cut it. - Are you messing with me?"
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"Because people keep messing with me."
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"Or..."
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"I guess..."
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"Oh, hey, look, it's no big deal,"
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"but we had to make some changes in your sketch."
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"- I have new pages for you. - You do?"
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"Yeah, Tracy is in it now, so we had to change some of the cues."
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"Also, the opening V.T. is cut, so you just go right out, OK?"
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"Oh, and you all say the last line together."
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"Wow, so..."
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"So you're gonna be great. Have fun."
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"Lemon, these pages are blank."
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"Oh, never mind. Withdrawn."
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"And, remember, don't look into the camera."
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"Cast should be setting themselves for the cold open."
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"Cold open, everyone."
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"- Toofer. Can I tell you a secret? - Sure."
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"We've been working together a while, and I know this may sound crazy,"
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"and we make love while looking out at the city."
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"OK, let me guess."
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"You figured out Frank and I lied to you, so to get even,"
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"you're trying to get me naked on the roof and leave me there."
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"Nice try."
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"Where's Frank?"
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"- Well, we're cool, right, Mr Donaghy? - No, you're all fired."
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"No, you're all fired."
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"Hey, good job the other night."
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"Oh, you mean on the show. Thanks."
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"- What were you watching? - Nothing."
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"Bloomberg."
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"Good God!"
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"Lemon!"
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"Mr Donaghy, open up. Please."
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"is the top."
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"My muffin top is all that"
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"Whole grain, low fat"
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"I know you want a piece of that"
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"My sugar-coated berry lips"
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"I know you want to get with this"
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"But I'm just here to dance"
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"So back up off of me"
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"You're weirding me out"
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"- No, she does not. - Smart move."
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"But! don? need this,"
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"Where the hell's my limo?"
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"Peace in the Middle East! We out!"
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"Rehearsal? We just did a show last week. I just came to pick up a pay cheque."
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"Man, Jenna's really gotten squirrelly since Tracy came along."
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"I will fax you any changes by 9:00 a.m."
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"that Jack is gonna fire one of the actors to cut costs."
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"I am only showing you this because I care about him so much."
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"What? What is it?"
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"And I'm here today..."
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"No, that's not right, is it?"
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"I'm sorry, everybody, there's a pigeon."
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"...In upward revenue-stream dynamics..."
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"I agree. It's the writing. It's not natural."
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"Hello?"
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"This whole thing was a bad idea. We should just have Josh do it."
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"Everyone knows..."
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"I'm an independent lady"
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"Could we turn off the phones, please?"
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"Don't gloat. It makes you seem mannish."
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"You don't even have to answer me if you don't want to."
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"But I just want to dance"
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"Tracy Jordan to the stage, please. Tracy to the stage."
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"Let's go rescue Karen... or whatever."
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"Yeah, hippie humour."
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"Was I supposed to say that then?"
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"Damn, George Will just gets more and more conservative."
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"Hey, Liz?"
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"- I said you could do it. - Why not?"
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"- Really? - Don't bother him."
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"G.E. has been imagining the future today."
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"How does it work? Simple."
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"Nah, Lemon. I'll do that later. I got to bounce."
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"- Jack said we had to. - It just seems weird."
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"No, no, don't tell me... seriously. What were you saying?"
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"3 secret weapon."
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"I can't read, Liz Lemon!"
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"Everybody have a good weekend."
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