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Clips from The IT Crowd (2006) - Return of the Golden Child (S02E02)

"Which means, which means... a profit so far this year of..."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"- 1,800 billion billions. - Splendid!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"This doesn't even include the added revenue"
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"ITV? I'd forgotten about ITV. Brilliant!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"I had just two things in my possession:"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Today, I have a business empire, the like of which..."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Nice."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"- Wi-Fi enables... - Ask me what kind of phone I've got."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Voice recognition. So let's say I wanted to call my mum,"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"No, I'm sorry. No, Moss said that."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Just you know, welly up the vibrator a bit."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Are we still on this?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"You keep interrupting! We would've been done ages ago,"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Question 39. When was the last time you exercise?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"I'm still reeling from your answer to question 12."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"What was question 12?"
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"Do you get your five fruit and veg?"
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"I mean, I certainly try to... I would say I probably do."
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"I do not wanna know the date of my death."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Close it."
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"What do you want?"
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"Okay, yeah, someone will be up in a minute."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"You looked!"
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"- I told you not to look! - I made a mistake."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"When is it?"
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"My advice, Roy, is to forget all about this."
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"You see, I don't think this is taking into account leap years."
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"Does it say I'm already dead?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"- It's Thursday. - What?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"- It's Thursday. - Thursday?"
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"It's Thursday!"
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"Although, not too late after noon, so that gives you most of the day."
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"Oh, good."
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"Thank you, some attention please."
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"32?"
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"It was a car accident? Brilliant!"
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"Mum, I have to go."
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"Unbelievable, some brainiac disabled his firewall"
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"which means that all the computers on floor 7 are teeming with viruses."
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"Plus, I've just had to walk all the way down the mother fudging stairs"
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"- not go to this one? - No, why?"
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"So morbid."
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"I'm being an idiot."
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"- Scared? - No."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"I didn't know you smoked."
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"I was on 40 a day by the end."
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"Oh, no, I enjoyed doing it."
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"- Can I have a word, please? - Sure."
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"Hey, oh, my phone."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"That is the lowest setting."
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"Never have, never will."
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"I would much rather use this basement for something important."
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"- Really? I did send out a memo. - I didn't get it."
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"However, I am prepared to give you another chance."
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"This should be the first chance. You should give us this chance."
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"And then, another chance."
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"I got to put it up to 5."
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"I'm not gonna put it up to 8, Moss! It'll blow my cock off."
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"I mean Mr. Reynholm!"
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"You have to be careful, he's our new boss."
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"No, you are not coming to the funeral, Richmond!"
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"What funeral?"
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"I'll make it a quarter to."
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"you were going to die at 3pm, didn't it?"
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"It clearly stated that you were going to die, today."
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"At precisely 3:00. Unless, it was tomorrow."
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"But no, it's today, at 3:00."
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"Right, you're right, out of my mind."
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"Okay, there's Denholm's wife."
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"Neither do I. I'm terrible."
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"It's not like you've lost a pen, is it?"
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"Would you like a pen?"
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"- I have this spare one. - Oh, no, thank you."
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"Yes..."
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"- ...past of a great man. - Nothing."
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"A man..."
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"I've never seen a grand-father clock in a church before."
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"We know Denholm was a man of money."
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"I'm not f****** joking!"
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"I'm not f****** joking!"
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"And it's all thanks to these little things."
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"Like they killed my father, my father's father,"
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"You delicious bastards!"
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"That rhyming thing, this isn't working."
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"Also call Who's Who and get them to update my entry."
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"Well, thanks everyone for coming! Enjoy the rest of the funeral."
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"over the coming months."
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"But, as you all know, Denholm's son Douglas"
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"Let me start by reading this poem that I saw"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"in the film Four Weddings and a Funeral."
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"Where is your God?"
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"Here lies a great man!"
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"A great man!"
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"I just smoked a cigarette from a drain."
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"- Hi, I'm Douglas. - Jen Barber."
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"- Douglas! - Speak, priest!"
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"Hello again. If you're watching this,"
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"caused a scene, and is currently chatting up some nearby trull."
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"Reynholm Industries is now yours."
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"I want you to promise me now, in front of all your new employees,"
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"concerning irregularities in the pension fund."
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"- to manage what I call the suck fund! - Where is the remote?"
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"Good bye, father!"
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"Right, I'm off. I'll see you all on Monday."
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"Douglas! Sorry,"
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"I worked very closely with your father."
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"Derek, good to meet you."
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"Okay, good luck everyone, and..."
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"I'm told my father was particularly proud of the IT department."
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"I just mean files."
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"I sorted out this for you."
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"So, you may wanna put it all the way up to ten."
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"Shall I do..."
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"Now, I like that!"
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"arising for your take over of ITV!"
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"a dream and 6 million pounds."
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"the world has never seen the like of which."
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"Hope it doesn't sound arrogant when I say..."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"that I am the greatest man in the world!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Oh, you don't have any glasses. Just pretend."
The IT Crowd (2006)
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