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Clips from Mr. Mayor - Brentwood Trash (S01E01)

"."
Mr. Mayor
"- I am committed to expanding and improving public transit"
Mr. Mayor
"because it's hardworking Angelenos like these"
Mr. Mayor
"that are the lifeblood of our city."
Mr. Mayor
"So as--oh! Hey there, pal."
Mr. Mayor
"May I ask why you got on the bus today with no pants?"
Mr. Mayor
"- How else am I supposed to get to the pants store, idiot?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Well, there you go."
Mr. Mayor
"Whether it's a pants store or City Hall,"
Mr. Mayor
"LA Metro will get you there."
Mr. Mayor
"Now, as mayor--"
Mr. Mayor
"- You're not the mayor."
Mr. Mayor
"I'm the mayor."
Mr. Mayor
"- Well, let's just agree to disagree, shall we?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Mayor fight!"
Mr. Mayor
"all: [chanting] Mayor fight!"
Mr. Mayor
"- Oh, come on. Come on, stop."
Mr. Mayor
"- [screams] - [shrieks]"
Mr. Mayor
"[upbeat music]"
Mr. Mayor
"♪"
Mr. Mayor
"- Good morning, Mr. Mayor."
Mr. Mayor
"- I'm not sure who needs to know this,"
Mr. Mayor
"but FYI, on the 733 bus,"
Mr. Mayor
"I'm no longer the mayor of this city."
Mr. Mayor
"- That bus mayor was stronger than you, sir."
Mr. Mayor
"- [scoffs] - Hey, Jayden,"
Mr. Mayor
"I found the mayor's little bus speech real original."
Mr. Mayor
"- It actually wasn't."
Mr. Mayor
"To save time, I just took his last speech"
Mr. Mayor
"and changed "algae bloom" to "bus passengers.""
Mr. Mayor
"- I was being sarcastic. - Well, you're great at it."
Mr. Mayor
"- Yeah, Jayden,"
Mr. Mayor
"Twitter has started to notice that we're recycling speeches."
Mr. Mayor
"- Small businesses are the lifeblood of this city."
Mr. Mayor
"Reasonably-priced produce is the lifeblood of this city."
Mr. Mayor
"The passing of Archbishop Sheehan"
Mr. Mayor
"is the lifeblood-- you're killing me."
Mr. Mayor
"Yeah, the comms department may be stretched a little thin."
Mr. Mayor
"- Why, thank you. - I'm on it, sir."
Mr. Mayor
"I put up listings for a speechwriter"
Mr. Mayor
"on LinkedIn, Monster, Craigslist."
Mr. Mayor
"I've already gotten some responses"
Mr. Mayor
"that weren't genital photographs."
Mr. Mayor
"- Great. So, Jayden,"
Mr. Mayor
"start going through résumés and pick someone."
Mr. Mayor
"- I don't know."
Mr. Mayor
"I once hired someone to assemble a bookshelf,"
Mr. Mayor
"and yada, yada, yada. Stole my TV, dated my mom."
Mr. Mayor
"- Come on, this is a chance for you to step up"
Mr. Mayor
"and be a man."
Mr. Mayor
"Or a strong, capable woman."
Mr. Mayor
"- But I'm more of a creative genius"
Mr. Mayor
"than a manager."
Mr. Mayor
"- I have faith in you, Jayden."
Mr. Mayor
"Just find someone who makes your life easier"
Mr. Mayor
"and hire that person."
Mr. Mayor
"- Or woman."
Mr. Mayor
"- Moving on, Ms. Meskimen"
Mr. Mayor
"this morning will be in Brentwood."
Mr. Mayor
"- I love a town hall."
Mr. Mayor
"Democracy at work,"
Mr. Mayor
"people getting heated over ideas,"
Mr. Mayor
"and in LA, there's always some dingbat celebrity there,"
Mr. Mayor
"running their mouth,"
Mr. Mayor
"and I get to tell them they're not special."
Mr. Mayor
"- I don't even understand why we need to build"
Mr. Mayor
"low-income housing here."
Mr. Mayor
"I already have a home. I have ten homes."
Mr. Mayor
"Life is easy for me."
Mr. Mayor
"- You're not special!"
Mr. Mayor
"Yeah, this is gonna be a fun one."
Mr. Mayor
"All those rich Brentwood turkeys think"
Mr. Mayor
"they're too good for trash."
Mr. Mayor
"- Wait a second. Is this"
Mr. Mayor
"about the recycling center?"
Mr. Mayor
"Because I should be there."
Mr. Mayor
"It's Brentwood. Those are my people."
Mr. Mayor
"Arpi, I'm sorry,"
Mr. Mayor
"but I need to take the lead on this."
Mr. Mayor
"- Great. You have my complete confidence and support, sir."
Mr. Mayor
"Not."
Mr. Mayor
"- Not what?"
Mr. Mayor
"- I said you had my confidence and support."
Mr. Mayor
"- That was an hour and a half ago."
Mr. Mayor
"- I can't trust you around these people."
Mr. Mayor
"You're one of them. You're gonna get up there"
Mr. Mayor
"in front of those one percenters"
Mr. Mayor
"and fold like a card table."
Mr. Mayor
"- How you do you fold a card table, Arpi?"
Mr. Mayor
"They're made of solid wood with cup holders"
Mr. Mayor
"so you don't pucker the felt."
Mr. Mayor
"- You're proving my point. Card tables are plastic!"
Mr. Mayor
"I wanna make one thing clear:"
Mr. Mayor
"You put them in the yard to serve Crystal Light on"
Mr. Mayor
"Westside, best side."
Mr. Mayor
"after someone gets shot"
Mr. Mayor
"[cheers and applause]"
Mr. Mayor
"That said, I fully support this project."
Mr. Mayor
"and you're all just milling around in shock."
Mr. Mayor
"- Ah, come if you want,"
Mr. Mayor
"Our city has a trash problem,"
Mr. Mayor
"but you have nothing to worry about."
Mr. Mayor
"and we can no longer rely on my predecessor's plan"
Mr. Mayor
"- I'm coming, and we're playing"
Mr. Mayor
"to dump it all in the woods"
Mr. Mayor
"my pre-town hall psych-up music."
Mr. Mayor
"and wait till the fires take care of it."
Mr. Mayor
"Officer, plug this into the RCA jack, please."
Mr. Mayor
"I know you have concerns,"
Mr. Mayor
"Get ready to get pumped."
Mr. Mayor
"and I'm here to listen, so..."
Mr. Mayor
"- Do you have any idea how much rose quartz it'll take"
Mr. Mayor
"- ♪ California would not hold me ♪"
Mr. Mayor
"♪ Though I loved her timber mountains ♪"
Mr. Mayor
"to counter the negative energy"
Mr. Mayor
"- Hey. Mikaela, right?"
Mr. Mayor
"created by this sorting facility?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Orly. Hi, and hello."
Mr. Mayor
"- Um, 12. - Touché."
Mr. Mayor
"- Is my dad around?"
Mr. Mayor
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