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Clips from What We Do in the Shadows - A Farewell (S03E03)

"20 minutes? Half an hour?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"- It's actually been two hours. - Oh, great."
What We Do in the Shadows
"A nice two-hour-long Super Slumber."
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"I've had orgasms that have lasted longer than that."
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"- Really? - Yes!"
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"And it's not as pleasant as it might sound."
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"Well, as you know, the delegation is here, and..."
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"- Get to the good bit. - Well, you need to pretend"
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"to be dead so the delegation can come see your dead body"
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"and make sure that you're actually dead."
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"Why did you not just bring them in"
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"and show me in Super Slumber?"
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"A state that so closely resembles death"
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"no one would ever know the difference."
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"Well, what if you accidentally woke up"
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"in the middle of them looking at your body?"
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"That's a good point,"
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"but I think the point I'd like to make"
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"in countering that point is:"
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"no one accidentally wakes up"
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"- from a Super Slumber! - Oh."
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"Not unless you come in here and wake them up."
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"- Okay, well now that's-- that makes-- that's clear. - Is it, though?"
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"Because it really seems like it's not quite sinking in."
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"So... can I..."
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"Yes, fine, just bring these dummies in"
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"and show them my dead body so we can get this over with,"
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"and I can finally commence my long overdue"
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"- and this time completely uninterrupted-- Hey! - NADJA: Guillermo?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"CARMILLA: Yes, a dead body."
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"NADJA: Guillermo? Is the body ready for viewing yet?"
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"- Yes, Mistress. It is. -[clearing throat] Okay."
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"Everybody, come around. Please."
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"We're going to take a very quick look"
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"'cause it is going to be very sad."
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"- GUILLERMO: Very quick. - NADJA: Okay."
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"- DOMINYKAS: Front row seat. - Reveal the corpse."
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"All right."
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"- And there it is and that's enough. - And then we..."
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"It's just a very great loss for vampiredom."
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"- Mm-hmm. - Very sad."
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"He truly was one of the greats."
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"Was he, though? Eh."
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"As a warrior, yes, he was."
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"As a vampire, he was... okay."
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"Pretty good."
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"The jury is still out on his legacy, I suppose."
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"I don't disagree."
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"Nandor The Relentless, we hardly knew ye."
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"May he sleep well."
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"- Yes. - You know,"
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"we grow so weary of eternal life,"
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"and yet when we come face-to-face with eternal death,"
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"it really makes you think about big things, doesn't it?"
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"CARMILLA: Yes, it does."
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"Speaking of big things,"
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"I have heard that in addition to being"
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"a ferocious and merciless warrior,"
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"that Nandor The Relentless had..."
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"Yes!"
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"I have heard this as well."
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"DONAL: Heard what?"
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"Oh, how to put this respectfully?"
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"Uh, it is said that he had one of the most impressive members"
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"- in all of vampiredom. -[Nadja scoffs]"
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"Both in length and in girth."
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"- Well, that's true. - GUIDE: Is it?"
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"Um, I've heard-- I've also heard it said."
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"-[clearing throat] - Shall we take a peek?"
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"Just for funsies?"
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"- Oh. - No. - Just for funsies."
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"Oh, I-I think that would be very disrespectful."
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"Dude is fucking dead. It's not like he's gonna care."
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"I, too, want to see this massive dong"
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"with my own peepers."
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"Something to tell the grandkids about when I get home."
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"Familiar, reveal his member."
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"With all due respect, Contessa,"
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"- I'm not a familiar. -[growling]"
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"Reveal his member."
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"[hissing]"
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"Of course."
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"Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy."
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"As you wish, Contessa."
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"Here you go."
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"- Step aside. -[gasps]"
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"Hmm."
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"Hmm."
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"[exhales sharply]"
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"Huh. What do we think?"
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"It seems pretty average to me."
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"Not substandard but..."
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"nothing special, really."
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"- Mm. - GUILLERMO: I-I also heard"
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"that he was more of a grower than a shower, so..."
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"I don't think so."
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"Okay, well, we-we've done that now, so..."
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"Look, I am not saying it's small."
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"No. No, it's not small."
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"- No. - Maybe it was the density of the member"
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"that earned such acclaim."
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"Oh, no."
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"[clearing throat]"
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"Hmm."
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"Anything of note?"
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"No, it seems to be of average weight,"
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"and, uh-- what's the word I'm looking for?"
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"Pliability?"
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"I guess so. It's not..."
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"Oh! "Wiggliness.""
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"Yeah, just seems like a standard mid-tier pecker to me."
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"- Hmm. - Anyway, back to the blood banquet."
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"- Is it this way? - Yes! Everybody this way, very quickly, come."
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"[chuckles]: We don't want to..."
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"- CARMILLA: Thank you. -[sighs]"
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"- Lovely to see. - DOMINYKAS: Well, that was..."
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"much ado about nothing. Is there a sanitizer?"
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"DONAL: Nandor could've benefited"
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"from just a touch of rigor mortis."
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"Thank you for that, Guillermo."
What We Do in the Shadows
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