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Clips from What We Do in the Shadows - A Farewell (S03E03)

"I'll be 130 years old, aka dead."
What We Do in the Shadows
"You don't know that."
What We Do in the Shadows
"So maybe you should spend the next 100 years"
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"practicing to be less of a pessimist."
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"- I'm closing the lid now, thank you. - No, w..."
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"[loud banging]"
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"- NANDOR: Guillermo! - Sorry."
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"Just boarding your door."
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"[neighing]"
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"Guillermo, what time is it, and where is Colin Robinson?"
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"- 8:28. -[Nadja groans]"
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"And he's on his way."
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"Shit, you haven't signed his card."
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"[microchip version of "The Hamster Dance Song" plays]"
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"That's Colin Robinson's favorite song."
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"- Oh. - Oh, good."
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"You guys added "The Hamster Dance" to the playlist."
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"-[laughing nervously] - I-I want to make sure you gather around me"
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"in a circle when I do the Humpty Hump."
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"You betcha."
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"-[groans] -[doorbell rings]"
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"Oh, they're here! Everyone line up. Positions."
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"[Guide clearing throat]"
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"[Guillermo clearing throat]"
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"The Contessa Carmilla De Mornay."
What We Do in the Shadows
"GUIDE: This is Contessa Carmilla De Mornay."
What We Do in the Shadows
"She's 1,000 years old, possibly did it with a horse."
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"[snickers] Contessa, it is such an honor."
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"The pleasure is mine."
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"Please, if you make your way upstairs,"
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"your blood banquet awaits you."
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"- Oh! Thank you. -[clearing throat]"
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"Dominykas The Dreadful."
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"GUIDE: This is Dominykas The Dreadful."
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"It is said that he started the fire"
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"that burned down the great Library of Alexandria."
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"- Well, me and another guy. -[laughing]"
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"Dominykas The Dreadful's human lady friend, Coco."
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"Okay, uh, so this is..."
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"My companion."
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"- Partner. - Girlfriend."
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"[chuckles] She keeps me young."
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"Yeah, we're engaged to be engaged."
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"I don't want to put a label on what we have,"
What We Do in the Shadows
"- which really is so special. - Welcome. If you head upstairs,"
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"the blood banquet does await."
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"GUIDE: You know he's not going to die."
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"You're not going to get his money."
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"-[overlapping chatter] - I'm gonna do the Humpty Hump later."
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"NADJA: [gasps] This gentleman needs no introduction."
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"He's very well-known to me."
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"This is Quinn, the great vampire."
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"Right-hand man of Deacon Frost of the House Erebus."
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"Just a role I played. Donal Logue."
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"- So nice to meet you. - Wait, so Donal Logue is"
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"- on the Worldwide Vampiric Council? - Yeah."
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"I kind of got jumped in after Blade came out."
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"But you are a vampire, yes?"
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"Yes. Kind of a funny story."
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"I was not a vampire when I filmed Blade,"
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"but it was such a fun shoot"
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"and I sort of fell in love with the lifestyle,"
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"so I decided to jump in and go whole hog."
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"-[laughter] - Donal."
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"[overlapping chatter]"
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"NADJA: Please, head upstairs, everyone."
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"- The blood banquet awaits. - And it's my birthday."
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"[quiet chatter, laughter]"
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"Do you happen to have any human food for my consort?"
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"She doesn't like blood,"
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"and she doesn't care much for grown-up food, either."
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"Uh, Guillermo, do we have a-- Oh."
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"[laughing]"
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"There you go and voilà."
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"-[gasps] - Chicken nuggies for the young lady"
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"with a side of spaghetti with only butter."
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"-[retches] - Oh, my gosh. Okay, we need the name of your chef."
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"Do you have any ranch?"
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"Ranch for the human consort!"
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"COCO: Oh, my God, she's loud."
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"More blood, anyone?"
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"- May I? - Oh, of course."
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"- That is what they're there for. - Oh, thank you."
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"[grunting]"
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"Exquisite. [chuckles]"
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"You must try him, but just a sip"
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"- and pass him along. - Oh, yes."
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"Thank you for sharing, Donal."
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"I say,"
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"has everyone remembered to sign Colin Robinson's birthday card?"
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"[Nadja laughs nervously]"
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"You have all met my wonderful husband, Laszlo."
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"[quietly]: Fuck off, Laszlo."
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"So, where is your coleader?"
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"The famed Nandor The Relentless."
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"Ah, um, good-- The Nandor, yes, um..."
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"Nandor was a threat to my power,"
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"so, uh, in order to run the council correctly,"
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"I, um..."
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"had no choice but to... [clears throat]"
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"kill him dead."
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"- You what? -[gasping]"
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"GUIDE: Excuse me?"
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"- Excellent work, Nadja. -[laughs nervously]"
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"- How deliciously cutthroat. - Huh."
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"You got to do what you got to do and you did it."
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"I cannot hate on that."
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"-[whooping] - Oh!"
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"[laughs]: I killed him."
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"In order to pay our final respects to a vanquished foe,"
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"could we..."
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"see his body?"
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"- Fix it. - Okay."
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"Nothing would make me happier"
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"than seeing the dead body of your vanquished foe."
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"♪"
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"Master? Master? Master?"
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"-[creaking] - Master?"
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"You are kidding, right?"
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"I have been in Super Slumber for, what,"
What We Do in the Shadows
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